Falling in October

October is Fall as the American's call it as we step out of late summer with its sun kissed memories of having a kickabout during playtimes ready to embrace Winter and that comes with it.

You're never to old for a teddy bear!

If you are age dysphoric as I am you'd never want to do grown up gender presentations because everything around how that looks and how you see yourself as that child is so at odds it utterly freaks you out.

That is why as age dysphoria meets gender fluid feminine boy "Jane Boy" me I wear the sorts of things that are within that for children around my developmental age such as school skirts and pinafore dresses.

Christopher Whitehead looked pretty much as I'd of love to had at thirteen and both of us looked good in skirts, not trying to "be" girls just boys that like to wear skirts too.

As just about every British person knows the underwear we wear at school is different to what we might were elsewhere even to the point at one time the School Prospectus specified what you were to come to school in.

That doesn't mean "at home" a feminine boy like me cannot wear anything beyond either plain cotton knickers or Gym Knickers which despite plain jane looks are very comfortable.

Recently I bought these satin Ivy floral knickers in white silk with white lace along the waist and legs.

I also bought these and both have a plain white rear  and are extremely comfortable having a good wide crotch area to take my boy bits.

As I have I am sure mentioned before the best thing sissies like me is where you can wear smoothest feminine but not sissy style effeminate pretty knickers you can for the buzz under your skirts and dresses to give you a totally different feel than boys cotton Y Fronts.

Life's a compromise at times but you might well embrace your feminine loves when and where you can as part of the one whole you.

Being the emotional real adult child

 

 

For me what people call age regression has a different kind of a meaning, it's not that may not involve age playing in the sense of not being, not acting as an adult but rather while some play with characters with very fixed characteristics that may include a specific age not unlike most other kinds of role playing to me it's not role playing.

That is because I have a  "emotionally real inner kid"  who has a part in this which involves a very deep and personal connection when in age play that any adult sense of self isn't there so what you have is a fragile side of me that is looking for healing through this and so not only has child-like vulnerabilities through being at a developmental level a child but additional ones because a person in such a situation such as mentor, 'Foster parent' or Caregiver to being hurt by careless individuals who aren't sensitive to my needs being with them.

To that extent as far as is possible then for all intents and purposes, the hearts of inner children such as me should be treated with as much sensitivity as you would treat a real, biological child even if the law says the outer wrapping is 'adult'. 

The relating pattern will always be that of grown up, parent or guardian  to the child me so when you are involved at such a level emotionally to me, it needs to be an emotional commitment that is for the long haul and not just dropped when the next object of attention comes along.

When you do, you may very well be breaking the heart of someone who looked to you to protect them, to take care of you, to guard you. When that person vanishes suddenly and it has, it is disruptive to the healing process as an inner child I'm undergoing, and it does more damage than simply leaving a role playing site or just some girlfriend with which you were previously associated.