A leopard can change its spots

It is easy to get into a mindset of thinking about those things in  your life that may not be going so well or even into comparing how you are doing compared to others but that's a habit which so easily leads to you beating yourself up.

Like for instance we may only know of what another person really is doing from what it is they've shared with us which may well be selective, missing out any mess ups and only as they feel it is so really those comparisons may not be too accurate.

The other side of this is we may be understating our own abilities, using a very high baseline to judge them by or be so used to perceiving our failure that we automatically feel we have when maybe we've done okay really.

This came to me on Sunday where I had spent this weeks Study Weekend working on a longform part of guide working with a person I hadn't collaborated with before with no indication of the exact format and structure they were working for even.

Let's say the absence of that usually gets me into tailspinning territory  as I stare into the blank page on my non microsoft office suite so I type a few headings  and eventually find one to start typing to and slowly work may way to the final one.

I review it and send it to the person I am working with with not to say it's not perfect but it's like the best I can do here thinking to myself it's not really good enough, maybe they'll do the electronic equivalent of tearing it up even.

Imagine then you get a message to say although it may need the odd change, they really like it that even they say it's a pleasure to read something so well written, that actually I'd structured it similar to their own section.

Really, Tammy that boarding school feminine boy severely dyslexic actually manages to pull it off when they was feeling like walking the corridors thinking they'd failed!

I think the point here is I grew up so much with the idea I was no good at this that I came to believe it didn't matter  what I did or anyone said they could help me, that I couldn't change that outcome.

I changed the outcome cos I actually believed in it enough to do the work using techniques that I had learned and was prepared to spend my time on learning  and learning to trust people who were prepared to help me make those changes.

The smallest of things

Things have been a bit hectic here for various reasons but birthday was marked of sorts and we did have some presents such as a Beach Boys deluxe edition of their mid 1970's albums with unreleased versions and the like which was great cos they were an early gurlhood like of mine, having many singles and albums.

Things like that go back ages as do things I have around girlguiding like badges, activity books and even the odd period dressed dolly and this gurl loves hur dollies madly.

Perhaps by arrangement I should whisked away and dressed up very much like this be a friendly firm lady for a day or so just being so so little, treated accordingly?

Sissygurl's birthday

A few days after going around the sun again things remain the same,eh?

However you attempt to wrap this up, it's all about getting better at being you rather than really getting any older or different really as from the beginning of time people have tended to say by your early years they know what the chronologically older you is going to be.

For me it remains as it always did, a fine tuning here and there but basically the same me with no blinding "now I'm a grown up" moment so Mrs "happyasagrownup" I could never be you even if I tried, it wasn't there and I'm different. I'm happy not being one.

And that is okay really.

Like this is my birthday but it's just as it's always been essentially, routed over decades, very much in the first and a bit so you have the same sorts of things as presents cos that's what you enjoy and I'll add the odd post here and there about some of them cos I like things in some kind or order.

There were some more plushies, pretty lingerie, chocolate and money.

Although there will seperate entries later on I did get a Hall and Oates sacd of album I only have on record, a sacd box set of Violin Concertos and a few classical records.

The latest installment of Now Yearbook presents the '60's: 1963-1964 was a lp present, three discs that show the new sounds coming in that were to change popular music.

Why talk about them? Cos I'm more than any one thing, nay, this whole sissy gurl thing.

There were phone calls and cards obviously but every was as it remains and I'm happy about that.

Girlguiding 2026

It's been a while since I last made a post about GirlGuiding which is trying - being the operative word in the Post Cass Report era - to find their way though a desire for inclusivity which takes in those who are or feel they're trans and the constitutional issue of being from when Dame Agnes Baden-Powell set up GirlGuiding of being just for girls (and women) with legal challenges from activisits and some parents.

Anyhow, this is how the "top" of Girl Guides looks in 2026.

Senior Leadership Team (National)

Chief Guide: Tracy Foster (appointed for a 5-year term to champion volunteer and girl experiences).

Deputy Chief Guide: Sally Kettle.

Assistant Chief Guide: Mhairi Mackay.

CEO: Felicity Oswald OBE.

Chair of the Board of Trustees: Denise Wilson OBE.

Patron: Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh. 

Ambassadors

These individuals help raise the profile of Girlguiding in the UK:

Anna McNuff: Adventurer and author.

Laura Anderson: Environmental scientist ("Less Waste Laura").

Katie Zelem: Professional footballer.

Ellen Buttrick MBE: Paralympic rower.

Dame Jacqueline Wilson: Author.

Tori James: President of Girlguiding Cymru and adventurer.

Made By Mammas (Zoe Hardman & Georgia Dayton): Podcaster

There many, many others who do help out, former girl guides, those not but with girls that are interested and those in Trefoil Guild which runs along Girlguiding areas for those who were or were not in Guides and still like to go things together as Girlguidling for adults helping out often to.

Trefoil is open to men and women.

Inclusivity isn't just about gender issues as important as they can be but also about ensuring that whatever religion, race or disability there's a space for to shine be it as a guide or as a helper.

Pictured is a former guide and now helper who has Tourette's which has been in the news, she might involuntarily say the word "Chicken" but she's making a difference and that's just what this thing is all about, helping girls be their best selves.

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The frills and I

There are two forms of presenting for me and today we'll take a look at the more traditional one.

Normally I tend to talk more about little forms of presenting being simple to put on by a younger you without lots of straps with adjusters, fastenings and the like but as we get a bit older we may wear fussier things for special occasions even if we may need an older sister or grown up to help with it.

Bodices and corsets give shape and that can extend to flowing petticoats not to mention slips and really if you got me on a good day with some support I'd just love to wear teamed with a pretty dress.

They do help in managing my age dysphoria in making me look more how I am on the inside still a junior child and were not an issue although I do like to wear skirts much of the time getting pretty antsy if I can't.

I can wear them in more feminine ways too if I wish.

The bigger thing in being a adult little gurl is following my interests as that sissy and Tom Boys are just the same in reverse.

Pasts

A week back to the usual routines and in some ways a look a bit at pasts and past conversations in lots of ways as after all nothing started from nowhere and most of us who've battled with identity know it's never really that straightforward.

For many of us, our girl friends (not girfriends!) are a bitter-sweet bit of our past, the ones we looked up to the ones whose take on being a girl whither you came to the Ts mode or Sissy mode like me we took the model of feminity and expressing in part at least from. 

Imagine just what it might of been like to have been able to say "I want to be like you and hang out with your friends" just walking to and around school but we knew that wasn't going to happen.

Either we'd bottle out or we'd fear she'd say "Don't be silly, you're just a boy and anyway I have my girlfriends all sorted".

We did the best we could. Jacqueline and I would skip games to chat together and maybe play the odd game in those gender gated days together adoring her.

Others might of thought you wanted to be her boyfriend but you knew it wasn't and she knew you weren't like the boys.

Sometimes all this comes flooding back to you over the years.

Looks 2026 style

It was a rough start to the week here so I thought we'd look a little about presentation and pose cos it matters in this life.

I just love acres of satin with frills with hose.

You might go with a pair of zip up boots and a mini skirt with leather or denim jacket feeling very ahem "hot".

You might like Sweet Lolita although I'd need help in dressing to really pull that off as much as I just love that whole look.

These days we take our clues from Team Pink and maybe they have ideas about how they'd think we'd best look as sissies.