This gurls christmas 2015

Christmas here was a bit different for a few reasons one being we didn't go out for lunch between some inter family stuff that tested patience to the limits and Mummy and I being very unwell just before and still recovering  so even if we had, it really would of been a waste as we'd not of eaten much.

I wore my grey pinafore dress, grey shirt with blue tie and white pussy bowed socks today after a good wash first thing.

With that we ate at home between ourselves, with the Turkey being put in over night to cook right through, vegetables done across the morning and the Christmas Pudding zapped in two minutes flat before eating!

As it was 2015 I had to help out getting stuff out, setting the table, clearing the table and with washing up.

I did have a number of presents this year although somethings are in transit as as I wasn't well enough to organize them to just before Christmas which does give me something to look forward toward I guess.

A perennial with me is comic annuals which are a direct run on from the Christmas presents I has as a child featuring special and sometimes Christmas themed cartoon strips from my all time favourite characters such as the no longer running apart from specials, Dandy which had Korky the cat, Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame and others in it. 

The BIG comic with me as a Child was Britain's Beano a veritable parallel world for those of us who were of official school age  during the 70's thru 90's it's peak period with it's own school and characters in the form of the Bash Street Kids, my hero Winker Watson and Dennis the Menace who like us also got smacked if they were naughty (and they were!).

As time went by some strips like Lord Snooty got retired and others like Bananaman who did have a tv series too joined the old favourites and the questionable practise of featuring in the news real people like pop stars and the like in story-lines crept in.

To say I like the Dandy and the Beano is an understatement and this year there is a specialty annual of Prank based reissues of older stories from both comics some I'm familar with from the very late 60's onward as I read the comics as a boy and some before my time that I had heard of.

It's a treasure trove of stories, characters and laughs that will be cared for.

My Auntie brought me a selection box which was a super inspired choice on her part as she not formally known about my Middle side but can tell straight I'm very child-like.

To be honest I'd sooner people either asked ideally or just bought me things more like this because I just so not relate to *adult* likes and that at all so buying for a middle child really is more sensible.

Ready for Christmas edition

 

It's December which with Christmas complicates posting but this year I thought I'd talk a little about the people who've given me the "real presents" a little like me needs.

The first thing is there's a person who I've only known for a few years and due to distance I only see from time to time who in their own way has been such a inspiration and source of reassurance at times even though they themselves have had their own difficulties some of which we do have in common.

They've encouraged me to be more open about myself, who I am, what interests me with other people, to feel comfortable doing arts stuff like drawing which I've always had hang ups with just for the fun of it and above all just accepts me as I am.

The year has been hard for us both following the death of our (and probably for a good number of you, yours too) close friend where we've both been supporting each other  and both of us have been supported by others which has been a great source of comfort.

You're a star.

Then there are other people such as those that have given me a home from home where I can just relax with my mind free from some of the stuff that gets on top of me here, enjoying a meal and like minded company together.

Which if on it's own is something I'd be thankful for but you go much further than that, you look after me, not in a super fussy way but more an observing the scene and responding way, knowing that if I'm giving signs of been tired (and I tire easy) you'll get me to where I need to be, bed, in  suitably child-like way that leaves me feeling relaxed and very little.

Things like that are really the best gifts of all.

HAPPY XMAS!

What girls want to know about feminine boys

 

Some boys are very different because on their insides they are really much more like you than you imagine

We, while wearing whatever we feel may be better suited to what we're doing at that moment, prefer to be dressed in dresses and skirts that you wear too. You can encourage us in that.

You refer to us as a gurl because that is our gender but you treat us as girls.

You include us in but hold us to the same rules as your girl friends.

That said we may wear Pj's in bed

We may enjoy somethings with regular boys such as playing with dinosaurs and some rougher play

but then we just adore playing with dollies with...you and like magical girl animes that are very girly

Our first instincts are the same as yours so let us express them.

We are feminine boy or sissies and would love to play with you and your friends.

A few addictions...

I've from time to time looked a bit more at presentation in the form of uniform and how that's changed and how that is a part of my life.

There are other parts of it too which have changed over the years, socks being oddly enough one of the first manifestations from buying school socks from the schools department of British Home Stores  every term usually grey from the late 1980's before moving gradually toward an exact replica uniformed presentation via 'Senior school' or 'Secretarial' wear.

Sometimes I have bought patterned socks like Harlequin ones in different plaid colours before moving more into that exact replica uniform by wearing actual school socks with it such as these Grey ones.

These are some I recently got although I usually wear white one of the same sort of design
except the bow would be a matching white.

The other thing that goes with it is underwear which has changed a bit over the years from all white around 2010 to grey or bottle green full school briefs when the original replica uniform came about.

 Now it is to go with the newer uniformed presentation I'm to be wearing mainly black high waisted Carta Gym Knickers which apart from being good for sports do keep me warm and cozy which is good thing at this time of year.

These arrived a few days ago and are to be worn from now on.

Bi Mode expression

 

We've talk a bit about this feminine boy thing means but what exactly does it look like?

I can do it different ways as I don't have gender dysphoria just a irritation on how restricted some people feel being any kind of boy what we are "allowed" to wear and how they project that around.

I can wear cute Hello Kitty t shirts with short trousers and cute ankle socks as a feminine boy but I can just as much wear a pinafore dress, blouse, girls white long socks with pretty bows and Hello Kitty slipper socks.

Certificate: Test results Sissy / Gender Quiz For Boys - Are you more feminine or masculine?👨🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽

For 30% you are: Ready for your result? You are:

***Feminine***
Or
You're a sissy.

Many males say that for them, being feminine is just a fantasy or a kink and isn't real, but they are WRONG.
Feminine boys feel different than other boys and start to notice it at a young age. Being feminine has nothing to do with being trans; that's another topic.
You simply enjoy everything feminine and don't care too much for gendered dress-code. You do you!

15% of 124913 quiz participants had this profile!

Your score wasn't clear.

You could also get this result:
For 30% you are: Ready for your result? You are:



***Effeminate***



Your personality tends to lean a bit toward the feminine side. It is good to have a bit of both (femininity/masculinity). Like they say, you have the best of both worlds. Just don't over-think it and try to enjoy life the way you like it. Whether you want to try more feminine clothing, or feel that way on the inside only, do you!
 
Take this quiz: Sissy / Gender Quiz For Boys - Are you more feminine or masculine?👨🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽

I've always been curious about how gender plays out in me  and this test does confirm I do have fair bit of obviously feminine traits running in me although I have no desire to be a girl and while some aspects of the sissy community online aren't me, I have to be honest and say the little side of sissy is.

I'm obviously a mixture with chunks out of line with traditionally boys were expected to be.

The important thing is to honour the feminine side in whatever way works  because that is good because I can let out my feminine side and actually it's important for me mentally to be myself.

Carl Nielsen

I was a bit late getting up this morning  even though I was in bed  and asleep according to my set bedtime although that's probably down to the overnight disturbances.
Recently I picked up this box set following an exploration of Scandinavian music

.

Carl Nielsen was born on the Danish island of Funen on June 9th 1865, taking up music playing and attending the Royal Danish Academy of Music and is regarded as the pre-eminent composer of that country and died in 1931. His earlier works were inspired by Grieg and Brahms.

He wrote 6 symphonies all of which tended  to be around the half hour length  were written between 1892 and 1925 and have a number of common characteristics such as the prominence of the role of brass instruments  and unusual changes in tonality that have the effect of heightening the dramatic feel.

That's one reason why I wanted the whole set  and this one recorded around the 1990's bot only features the superb playing of the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra  but also  an excellent warm sounding recording.

I've transferred these recordings in Lossless full cd quality for my Fiio X3 digital music player

Getting set for Advent

Well, it's not so far off but I've made preparations this year for the start of the great countdown otherwise known as Advent which from childhood always was a magical thing aided by having a calendar.

Way back then, they were card based  with you pulling back a flap to uncover various things and at least in our house, nominally religious in character.

 This is a very nomable which is currently atop of a short floor standing bookcase facing the front room window cos I don't care anymore. 

A little feminine sissy gurl lives in this house and does stuff like this apart from colouring his Frozen colouring in most days!

Just open a door each day, eat some chocolate and see the days before Christmas go before your very eyes.

Before I forget also happy thanksgiving folks!

Personal growth

It's kind funny how it is change and permanency crop in in differing forms when it is we think about aspects of our lives such as what may matter the most or the direction a hobby or interest may take.

Some people may put a great store on things being the same then, now and even in the future living around patterns from the past and equally we can all think of people who never really seem settled, forever swapping and changing things at whim, sometimes to the consternation of those closest to them.

Sometimes you may feel things changing but hear the siren calls of those who just loved you and what you do begging you not to change, that you and what you do is all that you are and to embark on journey be it personal or in developing your skills would lose you your own qualities while others still may wish to take you down routes you might not feel sure over.

To grow and to adapt either as a person or in your interests to me seems on the face of it a healthy thing as that would imply you are learning and exploring more of what interests and fascinates you.

I know and sometimes it feels at certain sites as if I'm forever on about, I am changing, learning  to do and live with greater expectations of doing things to those I'm been familiar with far a long time which hasn't been easy.

It would of been easy to given the matters that came to a head last year to had done nothing, in effect deciding to have stayed in rut which may have been a dead for end for me but a comfortable one but instead pursued on that was and has been painful at times but has ultimately been more benefit to me. Sometimes it's the courage to change that we need.

Halloween edition

For most people Halloween has been and and gone although I'll be off at the weekend so I don't think they'll be an entry here on Friday as I'm gonna be rather busy getting sorted ready for an early morning start.

There weren't so  many little people at the door on Saturday dressed up looking for candy although the weather was more reasonable than last years so I have some spare candy and I believe at least another one of us had the same experience. Around here I know the families of them well.

That kind of leads us into a kind of a theme because of one of things about about that weekend is about re-acquainted  with people you love having fun, the weekend despite some problems with pulled a  leg muscle and badly jarring my neck yesterday also was about that but in a different way as I encountered a few people I hadn't seen for a while.

As well, I've almost finished work on one of the seven micro sd cards for my music player - imagine something the size of a small stamp containing a couple hundred and bit albums - arranged by theme and to which I do have a kinda master list of what's on each.

That work has involved , avoiding getting very technical putting a few shelves worth of cds on to them and at the same time adding any albums I bought as downloads and it was downloads I bought around five and six years ago stored on memory stick I as adding yesterday as strangely enough the store I bought them from had withdrawn them from being either sold or even redownloaded from your folder of purchases.

So I was adding my Gorillaz albums, the Everything and Nothing compilation by David Sylvian of Japan fame (after getting the two cd side to play as two separate sides), Take That's Greatest Hits (no longer available new as they wanted a compilation with recent songs on it too) and Paul Young's From Time To Time.

These were albums I played a lot at the time and two were original bought as MiniDiscs which I loved in the 90's but that technology is now obsolete and in the case of the Paul Young title  that also was a very early pre-recorded mini disc that sounds very raspy too like a wasp chewing your ear!

The download (Mp3 encoded in Lame 3.97 version at 320 kilo bits per second) is much better sounding too!

Unexpectedly a friend at the Halloween event I went to gave me a new thicker pinafore dress which was very kind of them.

Having done all of that I was getting re-acquainted with them playing from my Fiio high quality player before going off to bed on time which is something I've learned to readjust to this year.

Accountability and the adult kid

 

Our lives as Middles have this running through them surrounded as we are around our clothes, our cute stuffies as part of everyday domestic life which takes me a very important area of Middles life and that is accountability.

Accountability as a concept is simply that as Middles we are expected to be held to account for those things that we are responsible for, such as our learning, our house-hold chores, the things we agree to do for others and our attitudes and behaviour as they affect us and those in our lives.

This is because, whatever as individuals we have difficulty with, we are capable of exercising some that within the Adult world we interact with. We need  and are expected to meet some basic standards to be with you such as being truthful, reliable and so on.

As middles, we need our parent-like figures to support, guide and discipline us when we mess up, letting ourselves and others down and to learn to expect ourselves to be held to account as a matter of course rather than excused from it, that some of us including me have been in the past.

Having to accept swift,very strict  punishment  is something some may baulk at but it is a need of ours to help us make the best of ourselves.

It’s a important learning we should not be excused if we are to grow up to be as mature as we can within our limits.

Mary Wells at Motown

Today entry is around a double cd  by artist whose career that lasted many years only really flourished briefly and often is ignored when it comes to Motown's contribution to the evolution of Soul Music.

You see the people we associate more with Motown, like Diana Ross& the Supremes, the Temptations and the Four Tops were only really successful after Mary Wells left the label but during the first years it was her, the Miracles and Marvin Gaye who were the bit hitters chart wise. Indeed the Supremes were dubbed the 'no hit supremes' while the Beatles hung out with Mary and even shared billing on tour.

Motown was like a giant music factory working all hours recording and refining 'product' for the quality control meetings where the decision to release or just can the recordings were made so like many Motown artists, Mary had a lot of material, really fine material that commercially Motown had no use for regardless of its quality.

This set issued in 2012 is in some respects the replacement for 1993's ultra rare Looking Back double, part of a ground breaking set of releases exploring work by less well known artists or those whose careers spun more at 45 RPM from the master tapes so had few if any lps.

While I have a number of those cds and the periods 'Anthologies' of more popular artists, hers is one I didn't get at that given we're looking at around over £100 when you see a copy, I'm not likely fill that gap.

This set has 25 unreleased tracks, a good number of new stereo mixes of tracks previously issued including duets with Marvin Gaye and Smokey Robinson plus work with the Four Tops and Supremes (the Diana Ross & the Supremes group styling came in in 1967 after these were recorded).

Mary took advice, sadly very misguidedly to leave Motown in 1964 from what was admittedly a poor contract but the process took it's toil on her poor health that went back to her disadvantaged childhood and lack the nurturing environment and the pool of talented writers was to cost her commercial career dear.

Meanwhile one does need the Hits and there has been a number of compilations issued over the years.

 This one dating back to 1986 remains my favourite even if the art isn't top draw and isn't hard to find used Taking in 1960's Bye Bye Baby, Two Lovers, Your Ol' Standby and You Beat Me To The Punch  as well as My Guy, a big UK hit in early 1964 although it has nothing from the Together album of duets recorded with Marvin Gaye who was rather disowning of it.

Although there is a more recent identical coupling of these two original studio albums which are very well recorded by Motown standards, this 1986 2 on 1 set is a favourite for the songs (the albums are surprisingly solid with little 'filler' making the case for her most versatile voice taking in such songs as Two Lovers, Laughing Boy, Whisper You Love Me and My Baby Just Cares for Me.

There goes the neighborhood

Here we go a week on from the enforced rest edition and I'm slowly recovering from this rotten head cold and associated cough that is stuck down my tubes.

Talking of that old laptop, a few of you how much I like stuff along the Eagles, Don Henley, Glen Frey and Joe Walsh direction and how I'd filled in some of the missing albums over the last year I didn't get around to backing up.

Dig the tank picture!

The origins of my Joe Walsh collection were from various sites that had the downloads on although I did get the various 'audiophile' editions of his cds at cost, but many of his albums are hard to find in cd form.

I tracked a few down on iTunes in their better sounding Mastered for iTunes versions but until recently this one escaped me as it wasn't available at any reputable store such as  7Digital or Amazon either.

Released in 1981, shortly after he'd left the Eagles, it was his fifth solo album and the home of the 45 'A Life of illusion' recorded as early as 1973 but only completed for this album which only got as far as a top twenty placing.

It features former Eagles  band mates Timothy B Schmidt  and Don Felder playing and concludes with 'You Never Know' an angry swipe at the Eagles band management company.

This was recently re-released digitally by Rhino/Warners and I as able to get the download from iTunes after a bit of consenting to the new customer agreement which does sound quite a bit better than the mushy Mp3 version I had before.

Now playing "Who's Better, Who's Best" by the Who.

Looking back at structures and the need to be little

 

I often feel pretty much that young child to be honest and Bertie the teddy bear is a constant companion of mine just there when I need a hug and a cuddle.

I was talking with someone about the past, yes I know we has a present an' a future too but the past has lessons for you and is after all where you started out from and some of ideas I think are worth sharing.

One is given our chronological (so-called real life) ages, we've seen the world and the Countries we've lived in change from when we were little girls quite dramatically with the removal of many a Dictator, the greater freedom of expression of thought, religious beliefs and for differing ways of life.

We can to a very large extent say what with think without being arrested or effectively suppressed, in countries that had one majority faith, we can join and practice freely another and this is good.

One thing that perhaps for some of us is a negative is the way in which we've moved from very prescribed boundaries to such a state of rampant individualism that challenges any notion of social norms in our society.

We care less about how what we do may impact on others, the sense in which we are (and certainly I and people of my generation) felt being a part of a society that had shared aims and standards of behaviour in public at least. 

Everybody pretty much knew what was expected of them and that included respect for (adult) authority at home, at school, in the workplace never mind that of the Police even if they weren't perfect.

Today it seems that very much the idea of any respect for social rules has gone-want that seat on the train, grab it even if has been reserved, if at odds with each other in the street then call each other cuss words loudly in front of the under 12's, and so on to the point that it's hardly surprising that the only rules teens see exploring their emerging selves is that of own peer group in that way. 

While we tested the boundaries too, you knew adult authority would step in and critically your own folks would support them as having been punished for coming home the worse for drink once I'm well aware of shall we say.

For some us part of our being 'little' be it in caregiver relationships, or being just 'a little' may stem from a longing for those certainties be they from your own upbringing or perhaps looking back on those of others, you wish for them.

It provides some of the structure  we find ourselves craving.

Kickabout time

I am a feminine sissy but that doesn't mean all my interests are just those you might of traditionally associated with girls sometimes just because where my own interests lie and that inevitably in that era I was socialized formally along boys lines.

Footie or Soccer as it is called has always been a thing with me from the days we played it on the street, in open spaces, at school to following it religiously watching the F.A. Cup final never the times I watched with nan as we devoured Cadbury's Fruit and Nut chocolate together and we're getting well into the 2015/16 season.

Today we are seeing more girls and women's teams around where when I grew up girls were strongly discouraged from playing, boys refused to play with them and schools did not have girls football as a team sport.

That's progress and as a sissy I support allowing females to play whatever sport they wish.

Dress and the adult child

 Sometimes the question may get asked why wear clothes associated more a childs as a Adult Little?

To me it's not a hard and fast rule that anyone who sees themselves more as a Adult child should have to dress like one and for a good number of us, it may get in the way of things such as workplace dress codes and so on and at times I do wish some in our community were a bit less uptight over it. I mean it's only fabric after all.

There are a number of settings though where I do feel it's of very real benefit of which one is if you're with a Adult authority figure (male or female) in a relationship where anything like this needs to be talked through.

The other might be you do have an external authority figure or Mentor, you don't but may be meeting others possibly with some responsible adults or it's just how you see yourself.

To me the principal advantage is simply it makes you look more the Child you are because it removes the last bits of adult standing from your appearance at a distance.

You look into the mirror and you see something more like that child in it which aids you in doing those things that come natural to you as the adult child as you see nothing unchild in you.

An almost as important advantage when it comes to dealing with Adult authority figures is they see the child, their charge who looks very much it as they treat you very much like the junior you are, playing, drinking your milk and watching cartoons.

It is more complicated for me in being a modern gurl because for some of the time it may well be I in more contempory play attire even if my head may be running with some feminine traits too which means it may be t shirts and casual  shorts.

However there will be other times where I will gender present in  more feminine way  too

I love character t shirts like Hello Kitty ones and being in dresses and skirts which also happen to be easier when it comes to giving me my spankings in them in what is a very authentic junior experience leaving me clear just who is in control.

When it comes to underwear I like fuller briefs sometimes with cute designs on that are more like the sort you had when you were younger rather than anything that's clearly more grown up or be put in soft pretty satin  frilly ones . 

My feeling is that's more appropriate for the adult-child little sissy gurl you are and are being treated as.

David Bowie: Singles Collection and more

While enjoying the HD 192/24 downloads of his Five Years set of the first six albums I thought I'd blog about this.

 
At one time when it came to compilations it was fairly straightforward you had the Greatest Hits for just that or best ofs that mixed them with b sides and tracks only on album like the Beatles 1962-1966 and 1967-70 doubles.

 
David Bowie has had a quite a few over the years and being an artist who had hit 45's and 'radio hits' existing on album his from the get go were like that starting from 1976's ChangesOneBowie and the 1981 after the event ChangesTwoBowie sets which were not so satisfactory and had a brief appearance in the early days of the Compact Disc.

 
The one most are probably familiar with is 1991's ChangeBowie which was issued by Ryko in North America and EMI in the UK and rest of the world which had four extra tracks on the lp as typically the cd was of the long playing time single disc sort event though the lp was a double.

 
That isn't a bad compilation although like much of his catalogue hasn't been well mastered during the cd era but does suffer than the decision to put an well after the event version of Fame entitled Fame 90 that sticks out like a sore thumb.

 
This compilation,The Singles Collection, covers much the same period, from 1969's Space Oddity to his last solo album for EMI of this era, 1987's Never Let Me Down 
which is represented by Day In-Day Out but has the advantages well taken advantage of of adding key album tracks and his non studio album tracks  like This Is Not America.

 
Fame on this album is the original version which is always a gain and while his late 90's Best Of series covering 1969-1974, 1974-1979 and 1980-1987 have alternate mixes and b sides, they suffer from loud mastering that so reduces the variation in loudness and sounds a bit edgy.

 
In the absence of anything else intelligently compiled in chronological order, this one gets my nod of approval.

The recent remastered series:

I did pick up the issues of David Bowie, The Man Who Sold the World, Hunky Dory and Pin Ups off which were actually remastered this year by Ray Staff.

As with all the post 1990 issues they keep the original lp sleeves rather than 1972's RCA era re-issue sleeves that used Ziggy era pictures to resell these to the 'glam rock' audience which to me always was a misleading as these albums are more hippy folk/rock albums.

Having listened to them all I can say they sound better than the West German RCA using better tapes and having good tone balance decisions when it comes to equalizing to make the most of the tapes with wide dynamic ranges.

If you have the RCA's you may be satisfied with them but there's no need for younger fans to go hunting for expensive very long out print cds for these four titles.

Diamond Dogs Redux

My main copy on cd of this dystopian musical creation based on George Orwell's 1984 is the West German RCA cd from around 1984/5 and is the home of such 45's as Rebel Rebel, 1984 and Diamond Dogs. It also was the first album without the Spiders from Mars.

The description of how this cd sounds on music forums is 'dark', I'd say it was the sound of significantly high frequency loss with some alignment errors leaving it sounding 'lumpy'.

There isn't a universally approved later edition although the Japanese for US cd is much brighter although the other big difference is the West German breaks the songs into the groupings of the original UK lp and the Japanese cd all all others makes every song and intro a separate 'track'.

The Hifi people like the Japanese RCA but then at over £30 per copy as and when you see one, it's quite expensive.

It's been several years-make that over a decade-since I heard the 1990 remaster in it's UK form, a good number of which are equalized different compared to the Ryko versions and picked up a mint copy to demo.

This copy has much better high frequencies and is clear is from a much better tape and while being a bid midrange centred does have reasonable bass that those with tone controls can add  by a slight boost if you find yourself wanting deeper bass.

It certainly is more musically involving to listen to and will be my main listening copy until the next phase of the Bowie remastered campaign is released.

Sibelius and Finzi

As most know I've always like the Finnish composer Sibelius and indeed as early as 1993 bought a complete box set of his symphonies but while that box was pretty good it was a bit uneven so I'm prepared to try another complete cycle.

Originating in the 1980's and being mainly digitally recorded Ashkenazy's set for London (UK: Decca) was always highly regarded not just for sound but for the evenness of performances bettering in that regard Simon Rattle's set for EMI which I first bought, bringing more a feel of romance rather than icy cold Scandinavian winters to the score.

It also scores by having the four main Tone Poems and the Violin Concerto included with what is a set you get four around £14 included in this 5 cd set making a excellent introduction to this man I got from All Your Music.

That was less than half the price I paid for my original 4 cd set!

While exploring more classical music music when it comes to English music there's more than Elgar and Walton.

Finzi is best known as a choral composer, but also wrote in other genres. Large-scale compositions by Finzi include the cantata Dies natalis for solo voice and string orchestra, and his concertos for cello and clarinet.

I recently bought these two discs from him a  near contemporary of Delius of his woodwind works  to explore at leisure. He was born on July 14 1901 and died September 27 1956.

Little? More thoughts on it and Play

 There were a number of things I felt like posting around today, some which may have go to other spaces I share but you know what, I feel like putting it them here any how.

The first thing I'm gonna talk about is what we mean by being a little as this from time to time causes issues depending sometimes where folks arrived from and how wide your knowledge and involvement in that community is.

If anyone expect a single universal definition, sorry there's not one as some like to slice and dice everything up often to match a subcultures take.

My start point is it's about you as an individual first and foremost starting from how you see yourself as you navigate your way from upper juniors and through your teens to approaching what the law defines as 'adulthood'.

The majority of children going through what is called 'growing up' have what is best called an emotional  age that is within the average or norm for children within their year which means at a practical level they can both be educated broadly the same level while being able to play and socialize within that peer group feeling neither to young or too old as equals, free from inappropriate behaviour.

If that was you, you'd be content  being yourself, sharing the same interests as your peers but for anyone that isn't you start to find toward your mid teens your being left out, staying the same emotional age having no interest in maybe or even getting anything from what interests your peers.

In effect you are  in very real way emotionally much younger than your chronological years that brings with it both ostracization  and vulnerabilities that others are only too willing to exploit.

I first became aware of this  around the ages of nine and ten finding my peers had outgrown me with it increasing several fold by my mid teens to the point I had to be protected at school from unsolicited and misunderstood attention from my peers.

Had it of been in this decade, rather than trying to find things in the reference library I'd of no doubt of been looking stuff up online on various sites and that simply cos nothing was around in what was supposed to had been a safe space for me never mind having spaces I could just share the interests I did have.

I don't believe in the intervening years a mid to late teen child  who is that way is that much more different although the internet itself brings risks to your doorstop, something which is of real concern to those over 18 who find them 'reaching out'. In a very real way those teens need their own adult free space until they are of age and some solid professional guidance of the sort some of us back in the day didn't have.

Those of us who are over 18 obviously started from somewhere and instead of concerns about our school friends, it's more about employers, fellow students and what anyone you may be in a relationship with as to how much of that side of they can take as well as the adult sexual side.

How that little side comes out does vary and one point I want to get across here is unlike the image you may encounter online it is not and does not have to be all about diapers, sippy cups, all in one romper type suits and pacifiers although if that's you, terrific and as those of ya who have actually seen me over here know, I don't mind in the slightest.

You can be sporty, into uniforms, play school if you like (it's fun, trust me!) spend the hours colouring, watching show on CBBC or play snap, whatever makes you feel comfortable really cos it's just that-being in emotionally comfortable space, free from grown up worries and concerns.

To me that's what we have and had as Littles even if you have moved into relationships where that's accepted and anything 'adult' is understood and consented to.

It's what makes being a little transcending of any other label regardless of any subdivision you may be such as little sissy gurl, furry or whatever.

Sometimes it seems some go to the aesthetics of being little, specifically LSG waxing lyrically around clothing but really it's not about that, it is how we act on our inner Little Sissy Gurl feelings such as playing on swings as much as with dollies or toy cars which many of did then.

When I'm well, I play with toy car, play with my dollies, go on swings and play ships inventing a whole story I act out or make things from lego.

The clothes don't make me LSG but are an expression of that so the me I see in the mirror resembles the me I am on the inside doing that playing. just being like ten to twelve year old little sissy all over again in a dress or skirt.

Grange Hill - a BBC Institution

 

The BBC TV series coincided for a good many of us with our actual secondary education so coming home from school  or watching in the dorm after formal lessons had ended to wacth it before tea and homework is a strong memory.

The series not without its critics in the education establishment at the time, did tackle some serious issues such as bullying, racism, inappropriate staff behaviour and abuse by and drug abuse.

Our prevailing feeling was one that today would come under the umbrella of "That's so relatable" although Zammo would never pass uniform inspection with that badge on his lapel!

Dolly time

Sometimes the adult worlds new seems so heavy your age dysphoria comes on very strong which kind of inspired todays post.

Princess Natasha all in white making her way down the stairway. I had her for several years and is more the decorative sort of doll having a porcelain face

Morse sat on my chair. Although he's Scottish he doesn't drink Whiskey!

Jessica, as she'd just gotten up in the morning before I brushed her hair, living on the side of my chair in the front room from where I usually play, use my computer and watch tv from.

I doesn't matter they and my other dolls and stuffies are clearly visible to my neighbours across the street as are my Wood's Cat teapots or if they come into the front room.
It's my space and I'm me.

A Summer day trip

I went out on Saturday with daddy to the seaside departing from our estate on one of two coaches organized by residents where we travelled through our town to join the motorway network passing near Stanlow before joining the main A55 in North Wales, a semi-independent Country within the UK parking up at the coach park.

I left daddy to his own devices after getting off going some people I knew helping me cross the road to get into  the middle of town as there wasn't  a crossing and I'm poor with road sense.

 You may not of noticed it but in the gardens, there is this amazing clock set in the ground that looks rather striking from this angle. In the background on the far left is the Cenotaph and along the front there was a flower display marking  the start of World War One.

I agreed to met grumpy at 12:15 to make our way to a restaurant for lunch as being a Saturday it sure gets busy so you'd better get your skates on.

We went to Tribelles which had been recently taken over and revamped where the service was excellent from being met to getting your food in good time.

I had a 9oz Cod with chips and peas to whom the batter completely covered the fish itself so you had a whole lotta fish which is just fantastic for a growing little like me and tea which was very well cooked with the fish being moist but not mushy.

 There were a number of events taking place out of doors, one being a display and collection for the Royal National Lifeboat Institute, a charitable organization that rescues folk at risk on the water and that was one of their lifeboats.

Also the Lions had a vintage motorcycle exhibit with many plushies and flags on the bikes one even had Crazy Frog with his googles!

I spent part of the afternoon watching the Punch and Judy show with the children, shouting and screaming along jumping up and down for good measure cos I love letting my more little side out while not reading my Beano Summer Special comic with my childhood heroes up to their usual tricks and playing on the beach.

Llandudno is one of a number of seaside resorts that has managed to retain its long jetties into the sea -a pier- and along of which are many shops and amusements one of which this not that you'll me in or consuming their products.

Jetties have their uses apart from launching boats on, fishing being one and here's a family group doing just that.

The coastline with the Haufre Gardens toward the top left with assorted Alice in Wonderland related things to be found.

Making our way back to the coach, I had a Mint Chocolate chip ice cream locally made as in many parts of the UK there is an aggressive Seagull problem meaning sitting out on the seafront  with food you'll be attacked and possibly injured by said birds.

Sunny start to the day here as Marmalade has come in for his toast who smell is invading the front room, hope it doesn't burn(!) as I'll be out for part of the day enjoying the weather.

For all of the fans of this

 

And that's an awful lot of us,eh, one place I stopped by last Saturday was here.

You can follow the Alice trail across Llandudno which is an awful lot of fun.