Good gurl

After mulling this one over for a long period I decided to just do it and be damned.

See I had and have a Fursona, that is at say an Anthro "Furry" side that channelled a "Inner Cat", knowing some others in the UK who are also furry and so originally in July 2012 I came out as Furry and opened an account at the site Fur Affinity to follow them and write more Anthro centric journals that would be read just by that audience.

That account had an issue some five or more years ago that stopped it from running properly for along period and unexpectedly came back to life a few years so after a bit I resumed it but there was an issue that went back to the start.

As far as human gender identity went I was being pushed in many different directions and to use lots of different and contested terms and at that point I was pushed toward seeing myself as a female even if didn't wish for the status of an adult female: A Woman.

Over time it has become clearer that not only had I no interest in transition, only affording the adult side of being a female where I don't even see myself as mentally at least an adult and also as Little so curves and more adult activities are not front and centre.

That was reflected within those journals, back and forth, people blocking you off for disagreeing their own takes especially around things like "The Third Sex" and terms like "Sissy".

That's why I tore that down and established TammyGurl, going openly as Little Sissy Gurl and CatGurl not Little Girl and CatGirl, yes the "sissy" terms denoting being neither Girl or Boy by Gender but allied with a more feminine kind of Girl, she'd see as too full on.

A "Sissy" but from a Littles, child-like angle, talking about both the anthro and littles side just being honest about me.

I could of tried denying this until I'm blue in the face but this is so me.

And that's the truth

A little around the history of this blog

 

There has been a number of attempts of having a blog over the years, this being in most respects the most successful of the bunch be they on a dedicated blogging platform, through journalling options on various social media sites or whatever.

Some had been very specific in terms of focus, one for instance was around more kawaii influenced toys and technology, another more purely interests and a very short lived one that looked at gender ID but for me I always found a magazine format tended to work best allowing me to explore a topic, move on when we've said enough for now and then  return when there's more to be said.

For me that keeps up that interest that when reading other peoples I really look for, something that is lively, topical, not looking that the person just dragging a series of posts out when taking more time between them they could of been so much better.

That this blog has been going as long as it has while staying fairly fresh in terms of content and layouts is testament to that although a longstanding publishing issue is now resolved which should help in the long term, not least when using my chromebook.

The odd thing on the template has been tidied up over the years but that's about it.

That's a part of what we're working through and should be completed soon.

Revisiting the school girl look

 While it's very likely we'll talk about something else next week as we see the month out, we'll continue with a theme that's been running across the last two months.

There was a term I remember from the late 2000's and early 2010's that was used to describe the way you transposed what you saw on a female and applied that over to you as a feminine boy, sissy gurl or "cross dresser" that gave way to a blog: Femulation

It wasn't a matter of being totally that person but taking a chunk of how they presented as much of what had gone before was more routed in club or drag scene looks and this was more about dressing more like an actual female would.

Given I've scant interest in "femulating" to be a woman not least for being in so many ways a child in a adult sized body for me it's more about feminine looks of a child.

This was from a school boys protest where Academy School Management teams show their worst management methods on a regular basis but anyway the relevant thing was that white and black tartan plaid skirt.

It just looks right whatever that boys motivation for wearing it so why not thought I emulate that in a littles context?

I wasn't looking for a mini kilt which wouldn't of been realistic in that plaid nor a woman's skirt with buttons and zip fastenings.

That was more like it a fully elastic pull-on pleated skirt that is more juvenile in its feel which you could see with a blouse or school polo shirt and either short frilly socks or longer white or grey girls ones

It's been a while since I applied some fresh thoughts presenting more as a little sissy school gurl and this just lifts things from the usual grey or green junior skirts I have experimented with in the past.

From inside out, our first move

You can and certainly in the past I know I have argued about where the first expressions of our neither male or female gendered state first raised their heads and the more analytically minded of us tend to look for a more in depth intellectual explanation but I think many years on I and we were barking up the wrong tree.

We just had a fascination with girls lingerie that wasn't about that girl but how they looked and critically unlike most boys did envision us in panties (and bras) forming a mental image in our heads.

At some point we moved from that to seeing for ourselves just how we felt in panties trying the nearest to hand pairs we could find in all sorts of materials  finding we loved them, just amplifying that feeling they were "right" for us.

I remember in the late 2000's commenting around the fit because anatomically because we have male form bodies in most respects you need to be careful around the fit, especially in the gusset area and that one company that had made panties for us had cracked it only to find because they were designed for men, effectively some sissies boycotted them cos they weren't female marketed (and yet today some lingerie is "sissy" marketed).

If you've had the pleasure of wearing satin panties with frills, you know just how comfortable and affirming  they are to sissies like us, they become almost an addiction as we fill our knicker draws.

I've been in them over the last three weeks and I've felt just great as the sissy gurl I am no matter where I've been and what I've worn with them.

Birthday edition

 

Things are obviously a little different this year with everything around Mum's death and upcoming funeral very much overshadowing all else most visibly in lack of space in window for cards with cards for her.

I am disabled, have used a wheelchair before now so this is an apt card that reminds me of another part of my identity.

To an extent then really little has been planned with time taken up with everything around that but I did this, the recent Gorillaz album on compact disc, one of those card cover ones so I may need to put the disc in a inner sleeve to prevent it getting marked.

I also had this, the latest installment in the Now Yearbook series in its deluxe bookform edition.

I did get some new soft underwear, don't do really fancy colourful designs this year and some money from my brothers, other relatives and dad that I can buy some books or music with at some future point.

Going forward

As were are leaving the messy and muddled month that followed the almost too busy to breathe month before and have entered March, I think it's time to put as much of the reality of those times behind us and move forward.

Mum knew about my "femme" side, not every single motivation for it but that I had one as she had after all seen me "en femme" and like many others original experimentation had started with some of her attire.

She had washed it it and put on the line to dry too so in time we'd come to an understanding around this being a part of me that could never go back in the genies bottle.

I've been reverting more of it once visitors and the like have gone away with their many cards and wishing to share reminiscences cos it just feels right.

Classic school girl is something  I just enjoy as a feminine boy or "sissy gurl" as for me it fits in with my more little adult by law, child by nature self having no sexual sides with me.

The truth is we cry cos it's the first time we are able to be who we truly are with people who care about us that much they won't us to get past that mental block and just be us.

The reality is I love wearing soft frilly panties and cute patterned socks which even during the day I've had on under overclothes visitors might expect as I respect myself as a sissy gurl to be as femme as I can even in difficult situations because it makes me feel fantastic to be feminine.

My dad has taken over some responsibilities and as he does the wishing he's well aware of this which is okay with.

This is how things will be.