Meddle

I've always had a soft spot for the Pink Floyd but most of my albums went by the late 80's. Recently Todber (Dan) let me have this the Canadian copy (Harvest/Capitol SMAS 832) for free as it needed a bit of a clean and he had 3 other copies of this title ready to sell.
This copy uses American stampers with JAM "Mastered By Capitol" and while not being quite as open as say a good UK pressing, is pretty good actually with impressive bass. Canadian vinyl is very quiet because they use better quality materials compared to that in the States.
I'd play grade the first side VG+ as there are a small number of minor scuff marks that leave the odd 'pop' during One Of These Days while side two is EX (I'm using Goldmine grading)

Diamond Daydreams

Well this was a dvd that I always wanted to get but wasn't able until now as it not issued over here and the individual imported discs were quite expensive.

Based on a story by Ohji Hiroi, this is a collection of tales about six woman in the Northern Japanese island of Hokkaido telling of their trials of love, loss and life.

Meet the women:
Atsuko. 
A hard working, fun loving woman who tries not to let life get too complicated discovers an approaching arranged marriage to a self centred Hotelier. Another man mature and passionate becomes a part of her life too and she torn between them.She has to battle between wanting the comfort of firm stability and the pain of a wanting heart.
Karin. 
She is very ill and her Physician doesn't seem to doing much for her either medically or emotionally being cocky and aloof to her needs.The only thing that keeps her going is her Blog on the Internet as only there does she find some warmth and sanity in her cold confined state.In time her blog develops a following that leads to her meeting a new friend that is kind and caring. She feels this is the one she's been longing for however when she mets him face to face things aren't what they seem.
Kyoko. 
She's an aspiring young filmmaker to whom creating compelling stories and capturing them in an engaging way is her only goal in life.Passionate about this she will stop at nothing to make it happen, spending the college days obsessed with her craft and neglecting all else around her. As her unbridled passion for directing grows the rift between her, colleagues and friends widens. It seems by focusing on her craft she's lost the her touch with the intimacy of her world that a true master of the cinema needs to draw their inspiration.
Suomi. 
You could say she was born to be on the ice commanding her skates to glide using her grace and strength with a delicate ease. In her childhood she with her friend Hanna often dreamed of winning skating tournaments and sharing medals when they grew up.This is well in past now and her star has faded as has her friendship with Hanna. Life indeed has moved on.
Suomi senses an opportunity to perform again but she is engulfed by a flood of memories taking her back to her humble beginnings, her once beautiful friend, Hanna and to a promise made long ago.
Shoko. 
She's a radio presenter doing an agony aunt style show which is very successful, is held in high regard by her listeners and indeed you could say she really couldn't ask for a better job.
We learn that she is having an affair with a married man and this relationship already shaky grows further so, she's forced ask herself some very importantly and emotionally painful questions.
Akari. 
Ever since the death of her mother she's lives alone with her father. She works during the day at the local confectionery and while not there does household chores and takes care of her father.
Her father is an unsuccessful gold digger,.
To make things worse he is a drunk, spending the majority of his time and Akari's money at the bar at the end of their street where every night he gets into fights after drinking a lot resulting in him being kicked out.
Faithfully Akari picks him up and takes him home putting him to bed.
You'd think it could not get any worse but when Akari find out about her fathers illness it does.

Presentation: This is on 3 dvd's in slimcases inside a slipcase so it takes up the same space as a regular dvd and is Region 1 (many players can be made all region).

Suomi eats a cream bun

Unwrapping and pushing out the Adult Gurl...

This relationship it totally about Mistress overseeing MY feminization and not just how i look but how i feel about being me, being a ADULT sissy gurl as this year any child-like ideas about being a sissy are to go just as a girl becomes a Woman, yes keeping much of that but ADDING her sexual side.

Thus this post covers much of the ground we are going through.

Miss D 2010 at 13:39

Sweet sissygurl belinda - your behind is certainly feminine - I love those exposed cheeks - makes Me want to spank them - turn your entire behind beat red! Not every gurl has such a sweet behind. But since you do - I think you should show it off a lot more.

I am pleased that you have learned how to cum in your panties and now that you know how much you love to wear them afterwards - that's just perfect!

I'll bet there are men who will be reading your blog - looking at your gurly behind and stroking themselves to a cum. Does that make sissygurl belinda feel good - knowing that she is using her body to help make men cum? The only thing that would make it better is if the men were right there - instead of just viewing your behind on your blog - they were right there - rubbing their stiff cocks on your gurly behind - cumming all over your behind. Imagine that, sissygurl belinda, your panties soaked and your behind dripping from the cum of several men... That's a very good start sissygurl belinda.

Miss D

The second part of this post is a brief and kind of largely unplanned comment on my blog to MissD's post "Fetish and Pervasions" 1/18/2009 on Hers when She talked about developing a panty fetish with the example of a gurl who was a novice to femming.

Miss D's argument run that such a gurl would benefit from that becoming eager to be put on her panties.

Specifically Miss D mentioned during the conditioning period "her panties should be discussed often - asking her "What colour panties are you wearing today?"

As explained in my reply to Her, this is so close to a childhood game a group of girls played with me where i guess apart from anything else - they were in on my trans feelings - we breaking down intimacy barriers. Often the game would run throughout recess.

Do i feel it would help the gurl during this period to discuss what she was wearing, it's colour and texture openly? Sure because this is how she's going to living and a little humiliation not only helps in confronting her fears but keeping her in panties, to which her Superior is helping with.

MissD did go on to mention the idea of physically teasing the gurl while in panties as part of the panty fetish to be developed.

Although for me arousal isn't a response i get from putting them on, the idea of being physically teased - throw in a chiffon scarf as blindfold - ties in very much in to my submissive side as i love being a sexual plaything so it would certainly work for me.

i don't personally get off on relief though if you'll pardon the pun.

Response:

January 21 2010

Since you stated that you are a gurl that does not crave relief - even after being so nicely frilled - it makes Me wonder if you can't be trained to crave relief like all the other sissy sluts... 

You mentioned scarves and a blindfold - sounds like sissygurl belinda does have a fetish or two in her. So - the question is, if your fetish for bondage was properly catered to - would that help turn tammy into a helpless, little, begging, sissy? What do you think, Tammy?

Miss D

Dear miss D

i do respond to feel - being caressed - and if that was being dealt with through say light bondage play then relief may happen that way around and i just might get to enjoy that.

That said i'll return to this subject.

Miss D

28 January 2010 at 13:50

The trick to establishing your panty fetish is doing exactly what you are doing - wearing them. The second part is that relief should only be granted when you are in panties.

One nice method I often suggest is to have your cummies in your panties. Think about how a Woman would touch herself - sexually - when She is sexually needy... Soft caresses, gentle touches - usually with a single finger - right on the tip of your pleasure spot. The effect is amplified when you are in panties. When you can achieve a nice cummy doing it that way - you are well are on your way towards a very nice panty fetish and it is also a big step in your femming.

Now, if you are a slutty kind of gurl, after you have had your cummy, you might continue to wear those panties for the rest of the day... Does that sound right to you? A gurl with cum stains in her panties? At least, until you wash them - by hand - gently removing the dried cum before you wear them again... Many sissy cuckies love doing that chore for their Mistress. But you can do it as well...

Miss D.

I followed her suggestions to the letter and she pushed out my inner Sissy Slut and truthfully I should now own that as part of my becoming an ADULT sissy.

A window on the past

This project has been a good few years in the making from the heady days of 2004 when I first saw Friends Reunited, joining up in time for the New Year of 2005, finding people from my past schools I hadn't heard much from ages and talking freely about how that boy felt in the classroom as much as what we're doing and where we are living now.

Words that were used were "unforgettable" and "inspiring" and many others that I'd of never of put in any narrative about me cos back then the thin line between acting in "code" and just acting on your natural impulses could of led to people losing respect as I moved from being pretty okay with being a boy and being with boys to the misunderstood points that aligned with the having this feminine side and needing to have a connection let that side out.

It appears decades on that people "got" that and actually respected  how that side made me different. Some used what slim opportunities to the max which were available to help me let that out by letting me in what were otherwise all female spaces and others would find unoccupied storerooms and switch my trousers for the girls uniform skirt as we tried to uncover what was actually me.

That era had its confusions as much as today other peoples attempt to own narratives about them lead to pushing those of us who aren't transgender out of the variance which ultimately male or female a good number of us are.

They knew I was very much a feminine boy who liked to wear skirts and had this feminine side rather than "being" a girl, in so many ways more the boy version of girls world of the Tom Boy who liked being a girl too even if she had a masculine side.

I'm happy using the term Little Sissy Gurl to denote the difference as that child-like non sexual me from any adult "sissy" meanings.

Those of us in that mix own us and the way we take it into our lives.

Mini Me and forever changes...

This year is different, Sissy has opted for the domination of a Mistress to achieve something that never happened before. 

The maturing of the sissy to bring hur out as a fully ADULT sissy who knows and owns hur own sexuality and style so posts will be a bit different but by years end I will have fully grown up.

A recent arrival in my wardrobe is this lovely Death Skull mini skirt from Death Kitty. 

Here I am wearing it with plain black tee shirt, black underwear and stockings with a red bow.
I just love it.

On 2009 and thoughts for 2010

I usually take a bit of a look at the last twelve months on this blog from its inconception in 2006 looking at the things that came up, and sometimes the things that came down.

I continued to explore things around being an adult little boy, looked back at aspects of my feminine schoolboy past and how that ties to other interests such as music, reading and the arts.

For instance music lovers have been treated to some great limited edition re-issues from MoFi and Audio Fidelity taking in artists such as The Cars, The Band, Rod Stewart and Joe Walsh etc.

On the other hand the AF issue of the Pretenders first album was a mess and that was even admitted by the Mastering Engineer responsible!!!

Apple/Capitol-EMI came up trumps in September with their stereo AND mono re-mastered Beatles albums exceeding all expectations for sound quality and packaging. Full review in September's 2009 entries here.

Also EMI made a great start on the Duran Duran deluxe re-masters starting with Rio  and are scheduled to issue S/T and Seven and the Ragged Tiger on March 15 restoring never before available on cd material to the catalogue even adding valuable DVD's too.

Some great anime sets were issued last year such as Moon Phase.

We were cordially invited to indulge at the Ouran High School Host Club where all 26 episodes were issued in two sets at a discounted price in a move that helped to keep piracy under control.

Crunchyroll having gotten legit on the internet streaming side got better with exciting titles like K-On! and Skip Beat and expanded the Asian Drama collection. They even made a start on J-Rock! Princess Nisa kept us entertained at the 'Weird Person" CR group too.

Amazon helped too with getting a DVD player that could be made to play 'all regions' and it was easy to order stuff from the States where the local distributor here hadn't  a license plus NEO never had a less than essential issue with loads of well written features on anime/manga and J Life.

UK television became multichannel as default as more areas include mine went digital only but the amount of anime shown dropped . We even lost the Anime Network on satellite so we are dependent on online streaming that brings issues of regional licensing/lock outs very much to the fore.

I found a lot of real friends who were around where a group of people tried to shut me down earlier in the year.

I explored more around more feminine presentation to make up for the time lost during childhood when that wasn't so possible given conventions and attitudes then, finding what worked and what did not.

They didn't count on my strength with YOUR support to come back stronger than ever with this blog radically improved or stop me posting on site either!

And finally we've made a new decade, the 2010's so enjoy.

Regards, Tammy.