Christmas and New Year Thoughts

This is more a joint a Christmas Day and New Years Eve post in one because really they all connect.

Christmas was marked with a Christmas Pause on my Tumblr accounts and Winnie The Pooh was chosen one one for the values A.A. Milne shows and Christopher Robin who was a boyhood inspiration in era where more overtly macho values were pushed.

Christmas Day was being with my parents but marked in a skirt and  white tights because I am and always was a Sissy Gurl and the conception of Tammy as from the original Friends Reunited original blogger identity was one that showed more of that Gurl, the boy by body with a feminine side me and this blog restored that right and centre in twenty twenty-one.

It avoided the agenda of others during that period and shortly afterwards in showing that as a transsexual thing but following a firmer little sissy gurl feminine with masculine traits one, making my own progress on a journey of my own choosing.

The other was the restoring of stronger more fitting feminine influences such as Jinty both in March's special of the redux for the twenty first century new characters and new stories for the originals with mysteries, sport and adventure and this Christmas with a period annual.

For Tammy then the encouragement and alignment with more harder "ballsy" tom boyish attitudes, determination and values within the sissy gurl forming one single coherent body and soul is the aim for this next year.

The reflective and thoughtful had always belonged but some boys as he become older by birth age had tried to push him away from that, but it was always a part of an eternal junior school boy and so influences and role models like Rupert The Bear came back with a new annual to read and enjoy.

The Beano and the Dandy were staple comics I read back then and while the Dandy no longer comes out as a weekly both have specials and annuals to this day so I had the twenty twenty-two annuals and a special themed compilation of older Beano and Dandy cartoon strips that reference artist endeavours by characters pas and present.

The main present was a BR 3F 0-6-0 "Jinty" locomotive number 47458 made by Hornby that can be played with like the all plastic set he had as a little infant boy.

I do have a need for a small paper diary even though it is (just) twenty twenty-one, a high tech computerized touch of a button era, and this is ideal linking past and present.

"Embrace new beginnings" could not be a more apt tag line for this little sissy embracing both their masculinity and femininity sides as one within a single sexual identity, that of a sissy no more or less being free to be me.

Christmas 2021

I don't think we've done many Christmas entries on this blog but I think we will but the first thing to bare in mind is for me I'm very much a child by emotions and development so a christmas for me is pretty much like the ones I had when I was a young boy.

Being that young boy meant chunks of my feminine side never got what they needed  and so this time around I have a Jinty annual from the past to enjoy a new given this was a comic I'd of loved to had been able to read back then.

I always liked the Beano but the modern Beano isn't so easy for me to get into so I had again an annual I'd had back then to enjoy for the connections it has to those bits of the past that are part of who I am.

The Dandy is different, sadly we don't have it as a weekly copy so I had this past edition because when we do get new stories in things such as the Summer Special, it's the characters I remember.

This is this years and it's not that different but has brand new stories and drawings to enjoy which I do. It and the Beano were the best co-ed comics.

Korky the Cat and Winker Watson co-present the Dandytown Winter sports competition which is featured besides regular cartoons by Corporal Clegg, Keyhole Kate and Desperate Dan just like they'd of been had the regular comic had outlived its seventy-fifth birthday in nineteen thirty-eight.

I've had been working sorting out my clothes as we are able to go out and spend time with friends away now compared with how things were last year, totally locked in and this is a past meats present thing being a SuperTed t shirt from the popular nineteen eighties tv children's cartoon printed today.

He's so cute I could have him with cream!

As a active feminine gurl I like to wear more feminine attire but when I'm playing or taking part in sports I'd sooner wear something that has less potential to show my undies while not having to wear shorts so I had this red skort to wear which much more me.

I struggle with being on top of things being both dyslexic, having very poor short term memory and autism so a really cute A5 Winnie The Pooh diary will help me run my life better.

This christmas has been more balanced for me being a sissy gurl able to be me with my parents.

Christmas edition

Well, we are taking a bit of a break on the blog because it is the best time of all for a little in just three days time and we have things to be doing and will no doubt have things to be playing with too to get get that wrapped up around the internet.

In this restored blog, much has been done and much more has been worked through from those early days , the period some tried to suggest I really was something else to the period we got back to what I am with the gender variance that goes with it between me and boys.

Happy to be in their company, I always knew I was too girly for girls and too effeminate for boys in some ways as much as I could play rough and tough games with them.

Christmas's were not always perfect for a lack of appreciation for how your expression and personal gender conception differed even though things that were broad such as the Dandy annuals were a great help.

These days it is better and while there remains some distance to be travelled before how some of us are, things are better such as the tolerance of pink, grooming which was frowned upon as a young boy as "sissy" and the new generation of boys who are pushing the boundaries being out about having a feminine side.

Why shouldn't I be out more as a sissy gurl too?

Happy Christmas!

Fresh starts

I have decided that there will be some changes around presenting coming in from the new year having spot some time looking at my wardrobe as it has been a good while since I first started exploring what being a adult little gurl for me involved.

Covid apart from what it did when came to mixing with people, visiting places and critically spending time with friends who do accept it even some don't "get it" affected that whole wardrobe maintenance side as with few places to go you don't look out, try on and evaluate your stuff.

It's hardly that I haven't dressed more down a traditional feminine route but the nature of some things like pinafore dresses were things I wore more with friends while away with them rather than in the house where I tended to wear skirts with tops if not short trousers.

Trying some things on showed even before covid a number of items only borderline fitted looking at pictures and really I want to wear things that do fit, make me feel pretty and smart from the inside out.

I want to look good as a sissy gurl.

Thus I have decide to prune the dresses down only to those whose fitting really flatters me and as they tend to be worn when away I honestly don't need several and if I need another to get one made and tailored to fit me exactly.

I am better served by tops, jumpers and sweatshirts whose sizes will fit me perfectly and matched to skirts that can also be easily got for a much smarter image.

Similarly some of the older socks can just go which are starting to show bobbling and as it was I actually found several new unopened pairs bought for going away in the summer of 2020 which of course never happened.

I can always look into things like white tights for a more sophisticated look if I wish but the point is going forward it's all for and about me being the best looking sissy gurl I can on my terms.

Anything that comes between that really is no longer needed to be around in this life.

Gender conception is overdue

" I often feel like the current model of gender (identity and expression) is far too inadequate to account for the lived realities of many gender nonconforming folks, particularly feminine boys.

Queer theory advanced a model of sociological gender performativity. That worked well for the past 30 years, thanks to Judith Butler, Ricki Wilchins, Leslie Feinberg, Holly Boswell, Kate Bornstein, and many other influential trans-feminists and transgender trailblazers.

That was fine, back when gender variance was still a very esoteric subject of study. We've now come a long way to better understanding that gender diversity is not so easily captured by the limited language of only gender identity and gender expression. I'd argue these two parameters alone barely scratch the surface of how cissexism itself is enacted by society. And it certainly doesn't account for the difficult process of coming out of the closet and embracing one's true self.

Consider the simplest example of a femboy that has to repress his feminine nature due to the overwhelming stigma and shame within his family or at his school, resulting in years of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and insecurity. Neither "identity" nor "expression" provides the necessary vocabulary to communicate that person's unique gender journey.

He's certainly not expressing his true self at all. If anything he's engaging in a conscious act of repression, given the overbearing weight of societal expectations dominating over his free will. And then there's his thoughts and feelings, which are inherently feminine albeit not visibly apparent. For transgender people, that state-of-mind could be readily described as a misalignment of gender identity. But that doesn't always work for gender nonconforming people, particularly if they do not conceptualize themselves as having a discrete "gender identity".

This is where gender conception comes into play:

gender conception (n) - the way in which a person looks, acts, thinks, or feels with respect to gender norms and ideals including appearance, behavior, mannerisms, speech patterns, emotions, interests, ambitions, pronouns, honourifics, forename, and subjective self-concept.

While gender expression and gender identity have proven useful for discussing the experiences of transgender and nonbinary people, gender conception affords a new paradigm by which gender nonconforming people can better communicate their own unique experiences.

***

Reply to question clarifying point:

Thanks for asking. Gender conception covers how a person looks, acts, thinks, or feels with respect to gender norms and ideals. It is therefore a spectrum of gender nonconformity that is distinct from gender identity, which is an internal sense of being a specific gender. It only has a slight overlap with gender expression in terms of appearance, behavior, mannerisms, and speech patterns. However, gender expression doesn't account for pronouns, honourifics, and forename (which are aspects of gender attribution) nor feelings, emotions, interests, and ambitions.

For example, I consider my sex to be male. However, I have a limp wrist, I have a lisp, and I speak with girly intonations. I tend to have a very sweet, sensitive, and bubbly personality. This would make my gender conception non-normative.

Question from user Ptowza_Potato

"How is that different than gender expression?"

Reply:

Feelings and thoughts and interests and ambitions are not gender expression. As a boy growing up, I always liked watching fantasy movies about princesses and unicorns, and they made me cry with happiness. I daydreamed about one day living in a fairytale wonderland where I could be a pretty princess and have my own unicorn. That is an example of a feminine gender conception, rather than gender expression."

*******

The quest of trying to find a model of gender that works for those of us who don't fit into a binary male or female set of boxes, who may experience gender fluidity and have gender variance has taken time as for understandable reasons much of the discussion started within the transsexual and crossdressing community for whom Gender Identity and Gender Expression were the prisms, it has been obvious does not work for feminine boys like myself.

User rkrause at the subreddit feminine boys posted the above on December 15 and that is the clearest concept of gender which is why it is reproduced as is.

Direct link: https://www.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/rh43lu/gender_conception_is_long_overdue/

Counting down the days

Advent began last Wednesday following the Christian Calendar which was marked as ever on a choco Advent Calendar marking a time honoured childhood tradition as we count down the nights to come before Christmas Day and whatever Santa Claus has instore for us when it comes to presents.

This years is a Paw Patrol one whose windows you open with your finger nails and it has a colouring book for later too but in other years it's been Hello Kitty ones or The Secret Life of Pets  and before now my parents had bought me one too seeing really I'm very much a gurl still and a feminine one at that.

We've had strong winds and sleet as a cold front battled over us rather like they did early last week where we had a good inch and a half of snow fall so I've had to wear my thick warm Puma track pants all week apart from last Wednesday when it was a bit warmer.
 

Presentation december

So we moved through November including that cold spell where things were at minus One degrees during the day and you really appreciated the fleecy JimJams overnight as things the temperatures just dropped.

I almost got Xmas wrapped here with cards although I cut back a bit and presents which reminds me that we have the Christmas Beano special to get through, a sixty-eight page edition which I usually tend to keep.

I'd need a warehouse if I was to do that with the regular editions!

I came out gender fluid at Reddit in November which is funny kind of a place but the sub reddit has decent respectful still a child friendly  talk in way that Similar Worlds, the Experience Project replacement doesn't and why I ditched one account for good.

Art credit "differentspelling" Reddit: @/r/peanuts based on a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

They draw that as "themselves"  but it could just as well of been me, a gender fluid assigned as boy self who identifies as "sissy" and likes wearing skirts.

Talking of, I don't tend to buy heaps of skirts not least cos for one thing you've got to store them and just how many are you seriously going to wear given I do often wear shorts too but I did get this.

It's a sixteen and a half inch length Camel Thompson kilt skirt which stays in the respectable range less likely to show anything best not  bridging that gap between mini and midi length which looks smart.

I just love wearing it.

It won't be so long before Christmas and the New Year so with that we'll pause.

Operation feminine reset

We talked a bit about reset last week when I moved the blog over to another account and did a tidying up from it's messy bits from the Covid era but that era had a number of implications such as not going away  and given the severity of the travel restrictions very little incentive to wear never mind get anything new.

Given much of what I was doing involved scouting, going in fields with mud and hedges for exercise, resetting my mind from the never ending changes and rules plus observing nature it was hardly surprising  I spent all my time in short trousers.

Normally I'd be trying on other things and seeing what needed replacing and what new items I'd bring in especially on the more feminine presenting side so as things start to improve with a covid variant concern here and there I'm resetting my LSG feminine presentation.  

Trying some of my pinafore dresses on and checking back with pictures taken the last times they were worn some were a tight fit even at the time so I replaced one I liked by Mischief for a larger size in navy blue rather than the original black which should be a better fit.

There is a grey one coming that has a front wrap around and generally I look good in a traditional school dress as a sissy.

I also got this Royal Blue pleated school skirt with a fully elasticated waist to replace one dress with which will work with jumpers and jerseys which should work well.

Generally speaking for social wear I tend to dresses and skirts when I'm away and grey short trousers for things like rambling, not caring much for more fussy frill laden outerwear.

Sorting this all out before things resume - touch wood - next year is a must and it is perhaps timely to get this side of me really sorted.

Reset and score

We've moved things over and tidied things up a bit here in what has been so far a relatively cold week with sub zero temperatures to deal with some potential liabilities and risks given just how "woke" corporations can get and cancel culture

I've also kicked a ball down a metaphorical path this week and just axed one old social media site totally cos it just isn't working properly when the remove very precious experiences to talk about in groups you can follow for broad groups that mix in stuff you don't want and can't curate your stream by.

It may of been that the groups had duplication stemming from people being allowed to create their own but this change made it a less than good experience and then just how much time for you have anyway for messages that show people never read properly what you typed?

These days better discussions can be found with care within Reddit groups where each group is a separate thing you join to follow and post in so the noise isn't deafening in your stream.

Of paper dolls and dollies

 Being a sissy there are some things that I am drawn to and this weeks entry looks at  them.

I cannot truthfully deny I love dollies and playing with them having a good number and what would be nicer for a little sissy gurl like me to have Brownie dolls I can make adventures while playing for hours to my hearts content?

One thing I remember well from reading comics that were either for boys and girls or just girls were the cut out features such as dolls that you then folded over the figures body to dress up.

The concept of paper dolls and boys being together at the time was never something you saw much of for boys but paper dolls had an appeal.

My own interest in making them from the cut outs and playing with girls with them showed I had gender variant feminine side, an example of which is above.

I fully embrace my sissy side today.

Brownie scouting autumn 2021 style

This week we return with the on and off annual series of posts connected between scouting and what that means to me.

In both cubs and brownies you can earn you photography badge which apart from feeling great does teach you some useful tips in taking great pictures.

The preferred way to hold a camera, providing it has a viewfinder for the most stability and hence sharpish images involves cradling it against your face, using a camera reliant totally on the screen means tucking your elbows well in while holding it straight while hoping for the best!

I was out exploring the woods which is more challenging with the light but with the colours of the Fall around well worth it using a spot of fill in flash as needed.

The majesty of trees in the fall against brilliant sunshine is a great sight to behold as as here a few leaves have utterly fallen.

Meanwhile near the woods that golden autumnal sun illuminates these leaves well as you feel invigorated for your exploration.

On muse and stuff

There's a word to describe the thing, the person through whom you get your inspiration and that is your Muse and they are not  a thing that you live through but for were at the start of all of this role models of being in the business of being the feminine sissy gurl the examination of your past showed.

Some were very much of that era with the common attitudes and attire of my peers back then which is important in term of authenticity being how you were and there was the odd one who while current harked back to that time setting an example of how you go forward as that gurl again right now.

That was a good example of the latter, the spiritual successor of my peers back then bypassing the soppy effeminate rather than feminine biases around and those silly people who try to dress schoolboys as mini men giving me a clear indication of just what I could be.

That mixture of wearing skirts but in a good many ways a mix of more tomboyish side were to return with all that soppiness going being addressed firmly and more of a return to a routine of short sharp shocks to mould me.

Where this  came in was the rejection of that modernity in girls attire and for this and that included not just wearing grey school skirts but some that were as short as those I had worn too ditching the whole "butch" long trousered girl thing.

The more I looked into it however accepting I was of my physical sex, the more apparent I wasn't  anything else and certainly not a transgendered girl and that I was a Sissy Gurl.

I now look like a little sissy gurl back in 1974 who knows inside hurself what she really is, happy to go with traditionally female gendered attire as that feminine but strong sissy gurl, a gender apart from girls as much as boys.

Getting away kind off we hope

 

It's the crazy start to the week that after recovering ought to be fun for just being able to do stuff that we'd planned to last year but then with all that crazy zombie stuff around covered didn't happen and couldn't of been pencilled into until about two month ago.

But then we have the will he/she be available to drive your train and the the whole thing around part of the return involving a rail replacement bus and a biggish wait for the actual train coming in and that which really messes my head up to be honest.

It isn't that you don't wish to see people you haven't seen for well a long time, it's just every step is more unstable today than how it was in 2019.

I'd sooner have the rigidity of school where everything has a time and place that you just obey to all this.

Fingers crossed.

Updates and restorations

Well not been a great week to be honest but were are doing something pretty important in a good way which is restoring a big chunk of the old Tumblr which was the first I made in July of 2013 when I was working through my sex identity issues.

It's important with such an enterprise to look at the likely reasons to as there is no point just bringing something back to have it go again and this time there will be more of an all girlie theme running through although technically I am an adult schoolgurl by being a adult little feminine gurl who is age dysphoric remaining ten years old as some associate that with sex and bdsm too.

As I have other dysphoric tumblrs there is no need to make it all me plus I have survived the madness of social media over reactions, just more a continuation of what would of been in the TSB had it not been terminated to keep it contemporary as the other issue is the last years posts never got a external back up so there are no posts from most of 2019 into 2020.

I also found that actually sitting crosslegged on the floor in a dress felt better putting me more in that littles mindset than setting in lounge chairs so we'll have to learn to sit on the floor more often!

Falling in October

October is Fall as the American's call it as we step out of late summer with its sun kissed memories of having a kickabout during playtimes ready to embrace Winter and that comes with it.

You're never to old for a teddy bear!

If you are age dysphoric as I am you'd never want to do grown up gender presentations because everything around how that looks and how you see yourself as that child is so at odds it utterly freaks you out.

That is why as age dysphoria meets gender fluid feminine boy "Jane Boy" me I wear the sorts of things that are within that for children around my developmental age such as school skirts and pinafore dresses.

Christopher Whitehead looked pretty much as I'd of love to had at thirteen and both of us looked good in skirts, not trying to "be" girls just boys that like to wear skirts too.

As just about every British person knows the underwear we wear at school is different to what we might were elsewhere even to the point at one time the School Prospectus specified what you were to come to school in.

That doesn't mean "at home" a feminine boy like me cannot wear anything beyond either plain cotton knickers or Gym Knickers which despite plain jane looks are very comfortable.

Recently I bought these satin Ivy floral knickers in white silk with white lace along the waist and legs.

I also bought these and both have a plain white rear  and are extremely comfortable having a good wide crotch area to take my boy bits.

As I have I am sure mentioned before the best thing Jane Boys like me is where you can wear smoothest feminine but not sissy style effeminate pretty knickers you can for the buzz under your skirts and dresses to give you a totally different feel than boys cotton Y Fronts.

Life's a compromise at times but you might well embrace your feminine loves when and where you can as part of the one whole you.

Actually being little together

 

As I lie here typing this out, I'm thinking over a few things I read at the Reddit I mentioned on the other blog and what could be described as role playing within a thread.

What this thread was about were chat rooms often used by gaming people and also age regressors  amongst others for in real time conversation around various things between people who do know at least of each other.

I must say on the outset I generally don't do them as most of people involved are in the Americas and the time zone difference for something that doesn't get going until at least mid afternoon over there is such I'd be in bed or heading there in UK time having been up from around seven PM UK time which is a good while.

The essence of this persons comment was because there's not a good popular age dysphoric one they'd used a an age regression one only to find much of the conversation to be around school and work with little about and involving play which it was they were looking for.

I kind of get that, actually it's a pet peeve of mine from experiences that while you understand that to do things like get a meal organized and that if you're physically staying together matters, all too often play doesn't seem to break out even afterwards.

People might be offloading their frustrations but really they're not letting out the little boy or girl in them and they felt they could not "play" with others or talk about their special interests .

They had tried to find one which did but that one didn't have anyone interested in things like colouring or watching cartoons such as Paw Patrol seeing to deal with more older boy/girl regression.

I get that frustration as when I'm not out say walking or visiting places I too like to play things more aimed at younger children not least as role playing games are too taxing given my memory and related learning disabilities.

Is it beyond of the remit of people to fix this?

We made it!

 

As people will know I haven't been too well over a few weeks which came in when I started a project concerning that part of Planet Social Media called Tumblr which has it's problems to the point much of what is on here presently couldn't be posted there between some people who feel they own everything regressive or age dysphoric so they 'police' you or who feel because it offends their minors even having a tumblr concerned with things such as past school lives with pictures of uniforms is enough to have your account reported on fake charges.

Thus after the last skirmish on baseless charges I remade the account before they shut it down started a more modern boys interests tumblr with toys and tv shows featuring more.

Shortly afterwards I decided to sort out a Community Age Regression blog started during that muddled up era converting it into a overtly feminine one, removing some stuff from communities that are more problematic and taking out stuff I've totally moving away from in some eight years.

You might well say what of the old TSB tumblrs and that was temporarily dumped to an account that has tons of issues having been hack to death by Tumblr in battles over content and that has preoccupied me since early August.

The period while I was away I did think about what to do about it cos clearly a blog which was mainly about vintage images of childhood such as school uniforms does attract both the wrong attention from kinksters who had plagued it from the very beginning and from those who then thought I was one and a threat to minors wellbeing.

I decided to remake it as a feminine sissy gurls own interests tumblr that might have the odd image per hundred of vintage school uniforms but mainly around having a feminine childhood, vintage childhood as I remembered it, plus modern childhood in the internet and smartphone world of today with the likes of tiktok and the old in the new of my current feminine little sissy gurl way.

It could carry some commentary that might explain the background for those born in Y2K of the pictures, tell of how what is shown was a part of my life and the sorts of values that were common through it without it falling foul of the inclusion police.

On Friday, we finished it and can now go forward with all new posts as part of a three tumblr group that covers most things and all underpinned by my belief in my very own identity.

Emotions and why they're screwed up

Development has been a theme of this blog between the pages, intellectual, language but the emotional and psychological angles matter to in understanding why I'm me.

Part of the reason I'm shut down is because in my family to articulate why and that your are feeling is to unleash a cycle of emotional abuse with shouting, threats to withdraw thing, to put the house for sale and so on rather than to discuss them and look at solutions.

Faced with a threat to go out and kill a cat who was chasing a bird I screamed hysterically at the very thought of seeing a blood spattered cat before my eyes and all I get was being told if I carried on like this I'd have to leave.

Let's recap this: My dad threatens to murder an animal which is an offence and I am the problem for screaming hysterically???

No apology, nothing.

The lesson I learned was supress all emotions and feel nothing.

Plus Do I really care about your goddam feelings?

No he really didn't care about how I felt.

He'd slam doors turn up his stereo loud when he knew I had severe migraines and complain as if this was pity party act to just defy him and HOW EFFING DARE YOU?

Dont'cha know its all about me, me,me.

 And they wonder why you never became an adult emotionally?

Free to be me

 

Sometimes I feel I've gone on about some aspects of this life which admittedly are necessary but may also in minds of others get in the way of seeing what indeed the biggest thing about being that person, the adult little child is really about although we did briefly touch on it last week.

Really  it is the freedom to be you, to enjoy being what you are, a child and to be naturally child-like in your sense of fun and adventure several steps away from the grind of adult responsibilities that you struggle to understand never mind do.

It's having a laugh, being from what might be seen from a grown up angle to be silly, not risky, just anything but serious and that's what it's all about.

Autumn Post

It's what would be the Autumn edition so what what I may be referring to is a bit ahead of time but is kind of relevant.

Everybody remembers what last year felt like and what those extreme restrictions felt like as beyond the everyday things many of things we'd love to do such as stay at friends or for those of us who are age regressors/dysphoric and feminine boys the chance to spend a bit of time with more people like us face to face just were not possible

This year at least here in Great Britain we can do more and so I was able to get away and spend a few days with regressors who accept my feminine boy side and we hope to have a day fun event in late October.

That's why we need to give thanks for those who've helped us through this troubled period, the people looking after our medical needs, the people who took care of us, checking we were okay during the darkest of days even if they didn't get our thing and the people in online communities what enabled some sort of contact.

It won't be long before fall will be upon us and I'll be out taking in fresh air enjoying time just being me.

Transition to Brownies

 Just about the oldest conundrum in this life has been just where in the world of scouting was for an adult little gurl who in hur childhood longed membership and the chance to participate in that life to the full.

Did they join scouts or girl guiding feeling neither a boy but having no great desire to become later on a fully fledged female.

Would they of become a cub or a brownie when this whole topic raised itself in the early 1970' s and given how you remained very much that child would you of become a forever cub of brownie living life to and following the path back then?

In 2021 Tammy is to begin a process of transferring from hur cub past to moving fully into becoming a brownie starting with taking the rule and the law within girl guides understanding as a gurl who is feminine she aligns with girls,learning to follow their ways, taking orders from girls and transitioning her uniform.

Tammy has become a Brownie because she is a Gurl.

Good Gurl!

New term thoughts

 It's a new term although I don't so much go up a class but more along it exploring and learning different things because I don't get any more mature so much as by virtue of endlessly going around the same cycle I increasingly perfect that state without moving on.

It's like you've had xx years of being ten knowing what you need to pretty well without getting to be eleven never mind twelve and subconsciously you feel the pull to go back to school except of course as all that stuff is governed by bone age stuff you can't trot off to the school playground.

In this country even you cannot return to school as in your neighbourhood school to do any remedial learning in the way in many third world countries you do cos of stranger danger safeguarding concerns.

It certainly isn't that those don't matter, they do, but there's no evidence to show it really poses a risk if it's done right and as "dbs checked" adult volunteers do act as playground leaders helping with play in others.

It's like the default is all adults are a danger to children unless teachers or others "approved" by the system and yet the evidence shows most are more at risk from own parents or immediate family.

I honestly feel the topic ought to be opened up and evaluated for those of us who remain adult by bone age but children mentally and would accept "school rules" on conduct as part of it.

Real values

 

The world of being a little especially for feminine sissy gurls such as myself is all the more better for having influences that are very much for children in them because they align to our inner selves even if like with me it's different from the herd.

The values of love, caring, friendship and meaningful relationships that transcend temporary things such as wanting to share a toy or play with someone it encourages help move us on to be the very best gurl we can. 

Beethoven and his opera

We last touched this series in May so we're probably overdue an entry here.

Proms season returned late July after last years were very much affected by Covid-19 to the point of not just performers socially distancing but even with no actual audience present which wasn't really the coming together to enjoy the music we so love.

Thursday August 19th saw a performance of many operatic arias and overtures some of which I was familiar with such as Bizet's Carmen and others less so.

One I have more recently getting familiar with is Beethoven's Fidelio which compositionally is flawed - a chunk of spoken dialogue that's dry being one  but has some great 'songs'.

Just in time I bought this recent recording that plays in regular stereo cd and in stereo or multichannel super audio cd for better sound which was a lot better engineered than a performace I tried first that helped appreciate it.