Gender conception is overdue

" I often feel like the current model of gender (identity and expression) is far too inadequate to account for the lived realities of many gender nonconforming folks, particularly feminine boys.

Queer theory advanced a model of sociological gender performativity. That worked well for the past 30 years, thanks to Judith Butler, Ricki Wilchins, Leslie Feinberg, Holly Boswell, Kate Bornstein, and many other influential trans-feminists and transgender trailblazers.

That was fine, back when gender variance was still a very esoteric subject of study. We've now come a long way to better understanding that gender diversity is not so easily captured by the limited language of only gender identity and gender expression. I'd argue these two parameters alone barely scratch the surface of how cissexism itself is enacted by society. And it certainly doesn't account for the difficult process of coming out of the closet and embracing one's true self.

Consider the simplest example of a femboy that has to repress his feminine nature due to the overwhelming stigma and shame within his family or at his school, resulting in years of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and insecurity. Neither "identity" nor "expression" provides the necessary vocabulary to communicate that person's unique gender journey.

He's certainly not expressing his true self at all. If anything he's engaging in a conscious act of repression, given the overbearing weight of societal expectations dominating over his free will. And then there's his thoughts and feelings, which are inherently feminine albeit not visibly apparent. For transgender people, that state-of-mind could be readily described as a misalignment of gender identity. But that doesn't always work for gender nonconforming people, particularly if they do not conceptualize themselves as having a discrete "gender identity".

This is where gender conception comes into play:

gender conception (n) - the way in which a person looks, acts, thinks, or feels with respect to gender norms and ideals including appearance, behavior, mannerisms, speech patterns, emotions, interests, ambitions, pronouns, honourifics, forename, and subjective self-concept.

While gender expression and gender identity have proven useful for discussing the experiences of transgender and nonbinary people, gender conception affords a new paradigm by which gender nonconforming people can better communicate their own unique experiences.

***

Reply to question clarifying point:

Thanks for asking. Gender conception covers how a person looks, acts, thinks, or feels with respect to gender norms and ideals. It is therefore a spectrum of gender nonconformity that is distinct from gender identity, which is an internal sense of being a specific gender. It only has a slight overlap with gender expression in terms of appearance, behavior, mannerisms, and speech patterns. However, gender expression doesn't account for pronouns, honourifics, and forename (which are aspects of gender attribution) nor feelings, emotions, interests, and ambitions.

For example, I consider my sex to be male. However, I have a limp wrist, I have a lisp, and I speak with girly intonations. I tend to have a very sweet, sensitive, and bubbly personality. This would make my gender conception non-normative.

Question from user Ptowza_Potato

"How is that different than gender expression?"

Reply:

Feelings and thoughts and interests and ambitions are not gender expression. As a boy growing up, I always liked watching fantasy movies about princesses and unicorns, and they made me cry with happiness. I daydreamed about one day living in a fairytale wonderland where I could be a pretty princess and have my own unicorn. That is an example of a feminine gender conception, rather than gender expression."

*******

The quest of trying to find a model of gender that works for those of us who don't fit into a binary male or female set of boxes, who may experience gender fluidity and have gender variance has taken time as for understandable reasons much of the discussion started within the transsexual and crossdressing community for whom Gender Identity and Gender Expression were the prisms, it has been obvious does not work for feminine boys like myself.

User rkrause at the subreddit feminine boys posted the above on December 15 and that is the clearest concept of gender which is why it is reproduced as is.

Direct link: https://www.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/rh43lu/gender_conception_is_long_overdue/