Play and the feminine sissy gurl

The whole business around expression as it applies to gender based norms is messy and that messiness is a real issue to you as a child as so much depends on being seen to be in one set or other.

While for a good many things I was more than happy to be in with the boys to the point I regard my gender as being just that and playing what they wished to nonetheless there were some elements that just didn't .

They included figurative girls dolls often with pretty frilly dresses that I loved that most boys wouldn't go anywhere near and most girls at least in public wouldn't have me in with them playing they also included things such as dolls houses. 

The idea of being on a dolly date, taking your dolls  to play with girls for hour was very much me.

Of course what I desperately wanted was a Dolly's Tea Party Invite so I could be put in pretty little dress and take tea with girls while feeding our dollies together.

It wasn't that the odd dolls house set may have attempted to have some boys appeal as this one to its credit did with the reference to "ranch type" suggesting a certain ruggedness but the minute you use the word "Dolls" then boys run a mile from it and even a boy who may be playing with it.

He wasn't a "doll" but an action figure so as boys we did play with them and indeed until I was just over fifteen I have a pretty big collection of Action Man figures, outfits to dress them in, rocket launchers, tanks, dinghy's, guns  and search lights.

Boys wanted to play with and share stories about action man adventures with me which I was very happy to do but I wanted to be the whole me including the feminine side openly and I couldn't back then.

 

When some people look at the notion of play especially as it applies to those who are transgendered or like me are say feminine boys it's common place to show it as an indicator of variance.

Take trainsets for instance, most would regard that as something quintessentially boyish and masculine which for most it may well be but in my family we had girls who just as much liked to go into the loft with my dad to "play trains" and they present in fairly obvious feminine way.

For me while not as prevalent I too liked to play trains although with my physical disabilities  getting up a loft ladder was very difficult  although I have a number of strong feminine traits and likes as they apply to play.

That's why I feel it's important to remember being feminine and presenting as someone who is while going together for most isn't always like that because they are two different facets.