A Leopard can change its spots

 

It is easy to get into a mindset of thinking about those things in  your life that may not be going so well or even into comparing how you are doing compared to others but that's a habit which so easily leads to you beating yourself up.

Like for instance we may only know of what another person really is doing from what it is they've shared with us which may well be selective, missing out any mess ups and only as they feel it is so really those comparisons may not be too accurate.

The other side of this is we may be understating our own abilities, using a very high baseline to judge them by or be so used to perceiving our failure that we automatically feel we have when maybe we've done okay really.

This came to me on Sunday where I had spent this weeks Study Weekend working on a longform part of guide working with a person I hadn't collaborated with before with no indication of the exact format and structure they were working for even.

Let's say the absence of that usually gets me into tailspinning territory  as I stare into the blank page on my non microsoft office suite so I type a few headings  and eventually find one to start typing to and slowly work may way to the final one.

I review it and send it to the person I am working with with not to say it's not perfect but it's like the best I can do here thinking to myself it's not really good enough, maybe they'll do the electronic equivalent of tearing it up even.

Imagine then you get a message to say although it may need the odd change, they really like it that even they say it's a pleasure to read something so well written, that actually I'd structured it similar to their own section.

Really, Tammy that boarding school feminine gurl severely dyslexic actually manages to pull it off when they was feeling like walking the corridors thinking they'd failed!

I think the point here is I grew up so much with the idea I was no good at this that I came to believe it didn't matter  what I did or anyone said they could help me, that I couldn't change that outcome.

I changed the outcome cos I actually believed in it enough to do the work using techniques that I had learned and was prepared to spend my time on learning  and learning to trust people who were prepared to help me make those changes.