I had written a bit around school life before on this blog around the age I was in junior school but over time as I transitioned to high school at eleven and a half the certainties and accommodations slotting in a gender divided world kicked in.
For one thing the social world of play where I could navigate between playing with boys and girls went as they moved away from playing and into adolescent matters even though mentally I still felt a young child.
And for another where I was comfortable of sorts wearing short trousers although I had showed a like for wearing skirts, boys pressured you even more than the grown ups into waring long trousers and being more like a man, something I did not feel anything like.
Thus this period for me was one of hidden exploration of gurlishness as I wore from choice skirts, blouses, tights and knickers from wherever I could find them and even where of I was lucky, girls were prepared to make me up as one.
Given the changes within me and also within the girls I associated with against the odds and queer bashing that went on, I also started to explore the more sensual, sexual side of sissiness too wearing camisole tops with matching french knickers and stockings as a gurl in the same way girls explored it.
Like them I found I wanted what boys could give me.
This said I kept parts of the younger me such as my love of teddies and plushies as did many of my female friends and unlike most of them I still had and loved to act in my more junior side playing and otherwise being a young child just more able to be hur.
It was my GENDER REVEAL as a sissy gurl.
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