Wednesday 12 December 2018

Being free to be the sissy gurl you are

 


When I was growing up in the 70’s, the goal was to achieve a society in which a male or a female might do or become anything they wanted, without their sexual identity being questioned. Boys could play with dolls, girls could climb trees, anyone could wear anything they wanted or do anything they wanted, without it impacting what we now call “gender.” It was a great goal. 

I could and have every right to wear a skirt and to play with dolls as part of expressing the more feminine side  of me as much as I could the rough and tough side cos they're all me.

If you want to get a feel for what that movement was about, listen to Marlo Thomas’ , Free to Be You and Me, a famous series of songs recorded to help introduce children to this concept. Boys can cry, girls can compete in races…nothing you say or do changes what you inherently are.

Our conversation about gender appears to have taken a step backwards. Once more we are talking about ‘male’ and ‘female’ behaviours, and suggesting that if one gender does something associated with the other gender, the gender must be wrong. Once more we are creating boxes to define and contain gender identity, and if you step outside the box, it is deemed a denial of that identity.

Some men like to wear women’s clothing. Some girls disdain traditional “feminine” activities. The first group are still men, and the second still girls. We do them a terrible disservice when we read deeper things into that. Not every pair of high heels on a guy is a cry for help.

A trans man feels like he has always been a male, just in a female body. He has always felt like a male, regardless of what he wears. A trans woman has always felt female. Sometimes this manifests in traditional activities, and certainly clothing is used to help present the correct gender, but at its core it is a deeper, more fundamental issue than what toys one plays with or what clothes one is wearing.

I did have a love of flowers and some collectable porcelain dolls of various girls which in that era wasn't very cool to admit to other boys which was a shame, I liked to wear skirts as much as shorts but that didn't mean I had a deep seated need to change my sex because I was happy to be a biologically boy and to be a sissy gurl when it comes to gender role and presentation.

I have the right to be treated as sissy gurl and for hur adult sides needs to be met.


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