The word is Age Dysphoric. Basically it means you are deeply ill at ease with you chronological age to the point you feel you cannot function as that person of that age, that you feel the pressure to be the age you haven't reached you may feel suicidal or at the very least really stressed by and you cannot relate to others in your peer group because you're really that much younger.
The emphasis placed upon being Adult, especially Adult at eighteen when it wasn't long after I was born that actually the legal age of adulthood was brought down from 21 by which point you could vote, stand in an election and would of finished a under graduate degree course is intense and it doesn't even actually start at eighteen.
Some example of the Age Dysphoria include such things as chewing at the emerging hairs on my arms frequently because I couldn't stand the sight and feel of adult arms growing on me and cutting my pubic hair off.
I can remember a painful experience when I was ganged up on and bullied by health professionals at a school because they felt at seventeen I should of known a pre-prepared meal for me was as I was late returning to school looked like and distinguished that from one put aside for a diabetic child when I did not know what the meal was and in any event I had asked a grown up to get it for me and had said I wasn't a diabetic.
If it was anyone's fault I had the "wrong" meal it was the person who worked in the kitchen but they kept going on and one about it, how I'd deprived a child for a meal, that at My age I should of known so much it triggered my sensory overload and thanks to my audible processing disorder I just froze over and all they could do is then berate me publicly for ignoring them ignoring my known and documented disabilities just cos they weren't physical.
See age had nothing to do with my problems in that sense as it wasn't a matter of age so much as they felt I should of had the expectations of a child who did not have my conditions which include brain damage and almost certainly autism.
A child was was actually no where no the cusp of adulthood and NEVER could of been.
It was just a stick the able bodied staff used to beat me with.
I can remember a painful experience when I was ganged up on and bullied by health professionals at a school because they felt at seventeen I should of known a pre-prepared meal for me was as I was late returning to school looked like and distinguished that from one put aside for a diabetic child when I did not know what the meal was and in any event I had asked a grown up to get it for me and had said I wasn't a diabetic.
If it was anyone's fault I had the "wrong" meal it was the person who worked in the kitchen but they kept going on and one about it, how I'd deprived a child for a meal, that at My age I should of known so much it triggered my sensory overload and thanks to my audible processing disorder I just froze over and all they could do is then berate me publicly for ignoring them ignoring my known and documented disabilities just cos they weren't physical.
See age had nothing to do with my problems in that sense as it wasn't a matter of age so much as they felt I should of had the expectations of a child who did not have my conditions which include brain damage and almost certainly autism.
A child was was actually no where no the cusp of adulthood and NEVER could of been.
It was just a stick the able bodied staff used to beat me with.
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