For Mummy

 

Here in the UK we mark Mother's Day with Mothering Sunday which is a day set aside in the ecclesiastical calendar rather than the American created Mother's Day.

 Mothers often are the main source of day to day parenting, from those early days of baby milk and being changed to learning to put on big boy clothes on, fastening buttons, learning to comb your hair and keep clean ready to join the exciting world of the Play Group and School.

Mothers often support you in school with help understanding what the teacher was trying to explain, making sure you've the right books and things like PE Kit on the right day, arranging play dates and maybe joining things like Scouts that's if they're not a volunteer there too.

Then they step in when you transfer to high school and things like your subject options when trying to explain why your body and you feel weird at 13+ navigating that awkward bridge towards Adulthood but even after that, she's still in your life.

For some of us it complicated by being a Feminine Sissy Gurl  that can lead to some of her expectations changing.

For me my Mummy is the source of my feminine side, my mummy knows about and has accepted me wearing skirts and frilly panties seeing me and even has washed them.

We are close, more like the closeness between a girl and her mother as her "jane girl" little sissy gurl than with more conventional boys.

Mothers do a lot and for many also work outside the home too so giving thanks to your Mother and for Mothers everywhere is super important.

Thank you Mummy!

Anniversary and making a clear cut choice

The last week or so has scene my restored tumblrs turn various markers or anniversaries such as the original TSB which marked it's just over 1,000th post  a few days ago where I talked a bit about how I came to set up that tumblr and how I was on the inside when I first started writing it.

In many respects through the brief time at asb.org and by joining in with the asb/alb community examining, talking and comparing pasts I moved on from an ailing state of conflictedness to one where I knew exactly where I was.

My world is and always was a bit different than most of theirs in that I was most definitely a boy by sex but one that had a feminine side and while happy enough to wear grey short trousers was one that liked to wear skirted attire too.

It was never about being or seeing myself as a girl even if we shared some traits wanting to become one nor was it "adult" cross dressing but just following the wider sense of personal gender trends than my peers.

Being back in that world and way from the overly transgendered one rather confirmed where my personal base was and you need to light the fire your base camp as you explore what is you rather than trying to pour cold water on it.

For me while I accept my sexual identity is male for me means my interests and presentational sides are wider but are very much connected to being neither male or female in terms of gender identity even if I may fluctuate between the two and the heart of the issue with me is just that.

I am more feminine than most females even though I have some masculine sides that I was happy to use as a child but as that child not being able to use the feminine side without fear was an issue

That betweenness mixed in with the submissiveness is what makes me a sissy gurl who ozes their effeminacy and loves the authority of dominant females and whose adult sexual side is textbook sissy.

I am a sissy gurl

I could not be another gender.    

Politicizing personal identities

 

The spaces we go into seem to often have things that seem to be driven by ideas that seem really out of place on what are supposed to be places to discuss anything other than politics.

Take this for instance: "Feminine boys are naturally to the left of center and further left (wait until you hear about the plan to not only police, but abolish money too.) Right-wing and fascist fuckery not tolerated here."

The first assertion is highly questionably because people even within identity based movements such as Gay and Lesbian Liberation don't naturally lean leftwards, many of the earliest activists came from the right because they believed it was nobodies business what your sexuality was and they opposed whatever party was in office when they prevented gay and lesbians people from getting equal treatment under the law such as criminalization of gay sex, adopting children and  same sex marriage.

At least in the UK you tended to get more overt discrimination from Labour administrations and branches for things like being a homosexual and wanting to be a candidate plus homophobia was rife in Labour Clubs.

Section 28 was a one off.

Conservatives here are progressive, taking the "leave people be" line believing acceptance stems from accepting difference without favour or fuss letting people get on with their lives.

As a feminine sissy gurl I am a conservative because I believe people have the right to be and express themselves as they are with no favours or special privileges having legal redress when anyone discriminates against them. 

I don't believe in special groups for sexual, gender or other things that transcend the rights of all people and that the attempt to impose them isn't just misguided but tends to pit groups against each other undermining the aim of an equal and tolerant society for all.

Aiming in spaces on social media to remove any one who isn't at least left of centre politically if not Marxist saying it is incompatible with just being the Feminine Boy you are is not just wrong but blatant political discrimination.

A birthday for one

 

It is very much that time of the year again whatever else is going on the world that causes a birth date to go around after three hundred and  sixty-five days but in reality I am and feel no more older than I did decades ago even if what we use may be different.

A few things remain messed up after these last two year like ones family and any kind of going out is likely to be later on in the week as work continues on refitting one place we like to go.

Anyway given how this thing is with me it was entirely fitting that one neighbour bought me a bar of chocolate cos I really don't have any inclination toward anything specifically adult or interests even.

One thing I did get which goes back a few years for inspiration was a very special four cd and dvd set of the classic Elton John album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road that came out in 2014 which probably contains the highest amount per album of his best ever work including beyond the title track to take in Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting, Bennie and the Jets and Candle In The Wind.

I was a bit strapped for cash in that period so I bought a two cd "deluxe edition" that had the whole album plus on a second disc some remakes of the songs by today's artists such as The Band Perry and a selection from a live recording made at the Hammersmith Odeon in December of 1973 that was broadcast on the radio.

Really it was this set I wanted which give you alternative mixes and non album tracks used on the singles, the whole concert in its two halves and a dvd with surround sound mixes couples with a 100 page book.

I was very fortunate to have it bought for me from a store that still had a copy in.

 Similarly my original Blu Ray of this anime tended to make some funny noises while it played due to some fault in how the film was written onto the disc so the blu ray player can play it so I got a much recent copy that also includes the dvd which didn't have this issue included.

 There are other ways that past in the present in me shows.

The boy then had his records and this year is little different for having a few although three are to replace the records I had in a box set I was bought way back in 1978 being replacement  copies for the originals in my 1978 Beatles Singles Collection box set that miraculously still survives even if some of the things I had around that era do not.

The strength of that set always was hearing a set of world changing singles, then the pre-eminent type of records for teens as they were compiled and to which I have a strong emotional connection.

When the video was a thing I bought these, the first two feature films by the Beatles on stereo VHS tape and later on got the dvd replacements.

My parents bought me the fiftieth anniversary Blu ray editions with remastered  sound and image quality from the original film negatives to upgrade them  with .

There was a thing very much before BBS and Wikipedia that schoolgirls and boys used to look up facts and figures and find out about things they could join outside of the Encyclopaedia's your school or municipal library held.

Pears did a cut down version a mini Encyclopaedia in one volume and from that the even slimmer Junior Pear's which I had in 1978 which just had key facts and figures coupled with topics of interest which you could use as an aid to researching a topic.

That institution folded in 2017/18 but I had the 1994 34th Edition of the Junior Pears one this year because they still are of use helping to reduce time searching online for things.

I also had some money, white chocolate plus stocking filler things such as underwear and new socks.

St David's Day

 Yesterday was Saint David's Day, or the Feast of Saint David, is the feast day of Saint David, the patron saint of Wales, and falls on 1 March, the date of Saint David's death in 589 AD

Being in a boarding school with a high proportion of Welsh staff, we always marked St David's rather like schools actually in Wales did studying the origins and through things like singing and crafts.

Here these Infant and Juniors mark it with the girls in traditional Welsh dress, the boys are naturally wearing WRU Rugby tops as Rugby was always bigger than soccer in Wales, almost a religion!

What I'd give to wear Welsh dress.

It is marked by Scouts in Wales.