Pasts

A week back to the usual routines and in some ways a look a bit at pasts and past conversations in lots of ways as after all nothing started from nowhere and most of us who've battled with identity know it's never really that straightforward.

For many of us, our girl friends (not girfriends!) are a bitter-sweet bit of our past, the ones we looked up to the ones whose take on being a girl whither you came to the Ts mode or Sissy mode like me we took the model of feminity and expressing in part at least from. 

Imagine just what it might of been like to have been able to say "I want to be like you and hang out with your friends" just walking to and around school but we knew that wasn't going to happen.

Either we'd bottle out or we'd fear she'd say "Don't be silly, you're just a boy and anyway I have my girlfriends all sorted".

We did the best we could. Jacqueline and I would skip games to chat together and maybe play the odd game in those gender gated days together adoring her.

Others might of thought you wanted to be her boyfriend but you knew it wasn't and she knew you weren't like the boys.

Sometimes all this comes flooding back to you over the years.

kkk