New Year thoughts

We are exactly a year on from the launch of the New Blog here after getting a taste for blogging at Friends Reunited in 2005 having remade boyhood friendships to people lost to past events that we weren't personally in control of even if we felt they were right ones personally for us.

After setting this blog up I did dual post for a period at fr/cthekissfan/ but then found it better to just leave a link to this, in effect putting on hold but the change to the site since Itv buying seems to have put people off.

For me finding that site coincided with escalating mental health problems which lead me to look back at where they were from, what the site was good for such as finding things about your school, your college , picking up from that dropped past and identifying the missteps.

For me it is that the attempt to mask developmental disabilities through engagement with some of least impaired parts of my functioning lead to me being in social situations I could not cope with because whatever abilities I had understanding a topic, the person standing there remained a child, running an authority, trying to chair a meeting with adults who were not pulling their weight. And no teacher to ask to step in.

That whole angle started from a forth form interest in current affairs through to A and O levels in the usual subjects to a career in politics which ignored my inability to cope to the point I had a nervous breakdown.

This site started with a single and for some uncomfortable premise which is to deal with that whole problem as far as is possible I have to, I even need to, hand back the demands and strains of adulthood I cannot cope with because of my disabilities and resume the status, limits and care of being a child.

To function with stability I need to be put back into the setting of a child, handling what mentally and psychologically I am capable of, protected from and cared for all else.

I also need to be able go with my feminine side however that comes out because that was always a part of the boy me back then as restricted as the opportunities were back then as part of my recovery

This little is being put back into short trousers and junior girls skirts under adult authority to allow me to find my point of regression playing with my toys as I lose my adult status.

That's what 2007 holds for me.

My New Years Resolution is to allow myself to spoken to, treated and handled as child by Adults.