Moving ahead through cubbing

As time went on my balancing of feminine and masculine  things started to move through to other areas of being me.

We talked at the very beginning around not being immersed in the World of boys and  how rough play which lies at the core of boyhood play was discouraged even though when I did breakaway and  allowed boys to play very physically with me and I even played like that with them, I really liked it.

That was another sign that at the core I had aggression even if I could do more gentle play such as playing house or with dollies which I longed to do but that era was hard on you if you did as a more feminine gurl who the world thought was a boy.

Another area of that passivity was discouraging exploration as even though there was no reason for me not to had been enrolled into Cubs and actually I helped my brothers in their scouting behind the scenes, my parents did not enrol me.

While obviously one could not join junior scouting officially today, I decided to follow the spirit, principals and the sorts of activities I would of done back then so I started to learn many of the skills through practise that as that sissy gurl back then I'd of learned and to go out being physical, exploring the natural world around me.

As one of the core parts of regression in its very early days was that, finding and secretly wearing my younger brothers uniform as he'd left by that point it made more sense and I also established a uniform.

The awkwardness of the gender gap within the scouting movement then and some present issues aside such as longing for a more feminine style of uniform at least in the form I can relive is something I can change to get the best balance for a gurl who wanted and loved the scouting ethos.

This helped a lot in both shifting the negativity I had toward myself moving from being very risk averse to learning to work with risk handling it to take care of myself and to let my sense of adventure out.

By engaging with that it I was on the way to becoming a confident thoughtful feminine gurl who accepted their more sissy traits.