Brownie scouting Autumn 2023 style

Some years I have put out a post around scouting at this time of year simply because the sights and smells of Autumn and the activities tie in so much to my experiences to the point it brings it all back in all the complications being me involves.

At one level the basic complication is just which section of the movement my little side belongs and today while girls can join scouts which has now totally ceased to be a boys thing, girl guiding is still for girls although they do accept those who medically might be boys but seeing themselves as girls are living as girls.

Given I don't identify as a girl any more than a boy that leaves me and those like me out in the cold.

Fortunately in the new-old world as a age dysphoric sissy, I can side step much of that and follow the basic rules and principals of guiding which are not so dissimilar to cub so for what would be more den or ceremonial purposes go with a wither wearing a brown skirt or adopt a suitably sized traditional brownie tunic but wear grey short trousers when hiking.

What Brownies is about is set out well in this illustration from a 1980's Brownie guide book you'd have when you joined

You may not see much emphasis on it today but Brownies did deal with the issue of looking after you nails, so they are short, attractive but not done in way that has as many ridges from bites than mountains!

As a sissy nail care does matter and doesn't it make sense to talk about it anyway?

As in Cubs, you EARN badges but where you put them differs and you need to sow them on so this handy little guide from the era of the classic brown tunic helps.

Exploring with your very own little canopy above you, looking out for all the mammals, birds and insects around you wasn't that what you loved to and you can today, having adventures.

That's why I've readopted this bit of past as being part of full and now open me.

Finishing touches

Following on a bit from last weeks post in looking at uniform you might as well consider the finishing touches.

Having your make up done by women who are prepared to see to it you present yourself fully as the gurl you are.

Activities will be very much in the active and adventurous sort so highly comfortable  underwear that keeps everything where it should be helps so under the brown skirt should go white gym knickers of a fairly traditional sort.

These are close to what Brownies did wear too. 

Socks are a thing that do vary a bit but to me if we are going to do feminine we may as well go with white pereline socks that are not just pretty but do allow your skin to breath  and are really soft.

The other sort of sock that would work is this, a less fussy white girls long just under the knee sock.

The point in making up such a uniform is to allow expression of your feminine gurl side within scouting based side.

The feminine Brownie

 The conception of a cub me is a recurring thing that cannot in the everyday sense cannot be restored for a whole host of reasons not least the notion of a Adult Cub role doesn't exist and for things around safeguarding you'd never be in with actual children, the very limited leeway in the early days being removed many years ago.

It doesn't mean you cannot do brownie or cub like things such as tasks and projects that would of been linked to an award, it's more you're on your own.

There is no reason you cannot make a similar uniform so long as you are not impersonating publicly or otherwise causing harm to the movement for when you are doing this, even perhaps setting down a hour or so for a session.

Not being "official" you are not hide bound to current uniform trends or scriptures which is just as well for feminine gurls who like to hang on to such parts of their lives in such a way and in that time somethings have altered such as Scout Groups going totally co-ed.

You might emulate the cubs you were in from the era of grey shorts and they do have something going for them such as pockets.

Speaking personally I've transitioned to Brownies as I feel strongly aligned to a more girlish take on scouting.

To aid that transition I have been presented with a Brownie dolly from 1978 so wearing the uniform I recall back then seeing to care for and bond with.

If that is you then you might as I have create an alternative more feminine brownie uniform by adding a simple brown pleated skirt with a more rounded cut popular in junior schools of modest length that you may of preferred.

The choice of Brown is a nod to Brownies, the section created for girls only and remaining so, which makes it a scouting colour with it being the girl equivalent of cubs.

For me this just feels better.

You could keep the traditional boys grey socks with green tabbed garters which would work or go for white girls socks that these days thanks to lycra do stay up well

Brownie uniform has changed radically since the early nineteen nineties when the brown tunic and belt got replaced and the uniform been through several changes since but for me that created feminine brownie uniform borrowing some inspiration from brownies of that earlier era just works.

Tammy is a Eternal Brownie now. Good Gurl!

Getting that cubby feeling

This last week has been interesting with the usual mix of a few decades past and the current intermingled as I found memories of original childhood experienced in my second as that child in an adult body.

It has also been an interesting one for being out exploring nature, watching, feeling and hearing it intently.

I have observed the habits of Squirrels, watched on a daily basis the changes in the hue and colour of the leaves on all our local trees and a good many insects.
Indeed actually on Saturday, I observed at close quarters hundreds of Ladybirds out in the fall sun that must of emerged.

An example of the Harlequin Ladybird I saw is this one which I took a picture of while a wasp seemed to take an interest in my hat!

Wild berries were also out too although normally it is a little late in the season to see them.

While I can never be invested into the cubs nor actually be awarded the badges, this week I feel the sense of being a scout in spirit learning more their woodcraft  and scouting skills such as observation while having fun.

While at the time Cubs was the only option, really my resumption would be exclusively as a Brownie, a Brownie In Spirit with all the girl friendly traditions, promises and beliefs as a gurl.

That is where I belong and I shall work on.

The very things that are passported into the remainder of your life after that stage even after moving from having a boyhood to being a sissy gurl still benefit you.

Being a Brownie at heart

It's been an odd year, lots of different things happening, being with new people for a day, sometimes more while I also do explore a bit more around where I am in the way I used to enjoy so much.

Scouting has always had an inner conflicted thing with me in that while as a feminine gurl but raised as a boy I am unlike some quite at one with being biologically male however the execution of that especially in the era I was brought was problematic.

Some parts of the whole back story to Guiding and from that Brownies sit easier with me, in general I like wearing dresses which just isn't an option in Cubs but I have no desire to be a girl.

It's like I'm a Cub-Brownie.

I can get by in the grey shorts they wore back then and they have their plus points for hiking but being restricted to that doesn't really fit as I want that tunic.

The whole ethos of Scouting is very much me though and I'm happy to socialize with boys, although I am a gurl and back then that was a problem.

Living more in accordance with that and the Law and Brownie promise is something I just feel called to.

Moving ahead through cubbing

As time went on my balancing of feminine and masculine  things started to move through to other areas of being me.

We talked at the very beginning around not being immersed in the World of boys and  how rough play which lies at the core of boyhood play was discouraged even though when I did breakaway and  allowed boys to play very physically with me and I even played like that with them, I really liked it.

That was another sign that at the core I had aggression even if I could do more gentle play such as playing house or with dollies which I longed to do but that era was hard on you if you did as a more feminine gurl who the world thought was a boy.

Another area of that passivity was discouraging exploration as even though there was no reason for me not to had been enrolled into Cubs and actually I helped my brothers in their scouting behind the scenes, my parents did not enrol me.

While obviously one could not join junior scouting officially today, I decided to follow the spirit, principals and the sorts of activities I would of done back then so I started to learn many of the skills through practise that as that sissy gurl back then I'd of learned and to go out being physical, exploring the natural world around me.

As one of the core parts of regression in its very early days was that, finding and secretly wearing my younger brothers uniform as he'd left by that point it made more sense and I also established a uniform.

The awkwardness of the gender gap within the scouting movement then and some present issues aside such as longing for a more feminine style of uniform at least in the form I can relive is something I can change to get the best balance for a gurl who wanted and loved the scouting ethos.

This helped a lot in both shifting the negativity I had toward myself moving from being very risk averse to learning to work with risk handling it to take care of myself and to let my sense of adventure out.

By engaging with that it I was on the way to becoming a confident thoughtful feminine gurl who accepted their more sissy traits. 

Cubs, Brownies and scouting

Scouting is the subject of a separate blog to which I will get around to putting a link on here to at some point but its ethos is a very big part of what I am about and has on number of occasions helped me pull though though some difficult moments.

I mentioned Friends Reunited as that was a pivotal part in remaking friendships and getting some real feedback from people who knew me about how we fitted together and the issues at the time but another was what today can be called Age Dysphoria when in ways there is a disconnect between how you feel your age related self to be on the inside with actual chronological age because my disabilities meant I was still a relatively young boy at sixteen.

One of things around that period was dressing more like the child I felt I was and cub scout uniform did feature in it not least because everything around it resonated with me and I was still doing stuff like going on hikes, exploring and the like.

Being a brought up as a boy but being feminine you might well wonder what I made of an organization at the time which had very much a strict Boy Scouts for boys and a Girl Guides for girls policy although today Boy Scouts is just Scouts and it allows in girls while Guides became GirlGuiding UK but is girls only.

This picture although for those around knows this is pre 1967 does show the uniforms as was and leaving out the adult leader on the left we have to her right a Scout, a Brownie and a Cub Scout which is the boy equivalent of a Brownie.

The latter two were the most relevant and the programs while nominally of the same value teaching life skills while having fun reflected a more feminine nature within the brownies where as cubs was a bit more boisterous and yes overly boyish.

People like me fit between the two although you have to acknowledge that both fitted the majority of children to which they were aimed at and that you can't expect things to be remade so you just have to compromise.

For me it might of seemed the better compromise was Cubs which did have some arts and crafts in, a short trousered uniform that was practical and didn't risk accidentally revealing more while playing games or during Grand Howl and much of the physical stuff that as hard as was with my disabilities was what I loved.

However I'd of loved a Brownie tunic  to had worn and the more folksy backstory to it suited me better even if today being in cubs with a grey skort option might of worked better given the co-ed nature.

The fundamental thing was and remains I was a sissy albeit a feminine one and had no feelings around and for being a girl but scouting was and is a part of childhood that mattered to me.

There's no reason I can't find a compromise that works for me.

That was what that rediscovery of the uniform value affirmed.

Looking back to go forward

Scouting always appealed and when it was I first started to have what in hindsight were regressive signs in my mid teens it was that apart from discovering my shorts of two years earlier were hidden at the back of the draw, it also was my younger brothers no longer worn Cub uniform that I located and upon finding it still fitted when I could would wear it on my own I did.

I liked feeling like that cub but really I always felt more of a gurl so while I may of endured being a cub what I so wanted was actually being hur spiritual home, the Brownies who today look more like this.

A gurl belongs in the feminine side of the movement.

The whole ethos is something I strongly identify with not just then but now.

Cubs and Brownies

The first month of the new blog is almost coming to an end and I am beginning to get the feel for how I want this blog to be.

This takes me back to the days when my young brother was a Cub and indeed my older brother was and he stayed up to Venture Scouts which was quite something having assisted him with various things to do with it.

There is a large element of that scouting type in me even now loving excitement, adventure, learning new skills all while having fun plus I loved the look that uniform.

It was case that I wanted to join the Guides as a Brownie like my junior girl friends did because I saw me with all my differences as a gurl and so preferred to be in the girls section of the scouting movement for being feminine.

The uniform back then was a lovely brown tunic I so wanted to wear.

You had your Handbooks for Brownies and when you became ten, Guides with a cap,belt, publications and annuals too

That was more the way I'd sooner things of been back then but the past from a gender point of view is very much a foreign country where things were much different.