Spanking the Sissy Gurl

This need for spanking is almost as old as the whole issue of what my sex and gender identity is as while the confusion crept in in my teens traditional approaches stopped to discipling me just stopped without really being replaced.

My ability to read clues concerning how I am being seen is bad and just talking stuff out or ages utterly muddles me up.

It isn't so surprising that when I mentioned about this a friend who sees both presentations when I stay with them that corporal punishment was put in for my feminine side too.

The last mention of anything at all to do with my attitudes and behaviour was in a brief note from 1980 where it was agreed I could be spanked which didn't go into much detail from when I was officially in my mid teens simply because that brief conversation stood out as nothing much was ever discussed or really acted on around that time.

As time passed in the great not really planned way it does, much of stuff around personal conduct and rules short of say burning the house down was not really discussed so much as just drifted apart.

This would of been okay if for the fact that I was and do live at home and connected very much with what has in many ways left me very much developmentally an adult-child who while not being totally destructive or in any way abusive, not only lacks some 'life skills' but am disrespectful at times, lacking in self discipline so not doing important stuff sorting out bills and isn't expected because of previous habits and parental attitudes to help in the home that also may help if I was to live more independently. I struggle very much without rules and guidelines being in place.

In many respects I have more in common with the very mid teen of that entry who can get a handful and the odd time in the recent past the only way Mom could stop me tailspinning if we were out was a discrete firm smack on my bottom.

If one was to have imagined a 12 to 14 year old me from back then, then the boy dressed as a girl in this picture would of been it with longish smooth face and slim frame.

Also like the child in the picture and a good number of teens I will be held to account much more for when I let myself and my folks down and this will include having my bottom spanked for infractions from now on.

Looking very much how with that drifting apart of old agreement of sorts and the problems the absence of any replacements and the difficulties I have in dealing with verbal chastisement, losing track of what’s said and being more and more stressed so in many ways it fails to curb my behaviour, I have agreed to be spanked because I can cope with that much better and it is works better in changing my attitudes and behaviour although it hurts.

I just feel better for say being caned when I mess up compared to any amount of scolding and that so sticking that in with (having to) wear a uniform is great for me.

When I'm in that mode, I wear girls knickers often gym knickers as they feel better.

I am not treated any less strictly as a sissy gurl in a dress.