Looking after you

Well this is being typed up this extended May Bank Holiday and so as my appearance does matter I thought I'd type something to do with presenting a great image of yourself to the outside world having just checked over SK.

When it comes to your face there are a number of products you can apply when it comes to doing your make up although I think must of us would benefit from class or two on how to get done down to minutes just like older girls and women do who haven't half an hour or more to spend on it.

A dominate female making you up could just be the ticket , a "mummy dominant", a mistress any would do especially if they're reminding you just what made you the sissy you are while they're doing it.

Whatever your own circumstances might be, using moisturizer is a must for keeping your skin hydrated and baby bottom smooth as winter plays havoc with my skin otherwise soon getting dry and flaky.

Seeing it was a bank holiday I was tidying up where upon I came by an unopened package from March 2022 which I think was the tail end of a period of being very unwell and where it and a few other things had been unceremonious dumped.

It contained four pairs of these panties in baby pink and a few socks.

I thought last year I'd seen the last of the unopened stuff but seemingly there was more of it littering up the place.

Perhaps this sissy needs a good spanking for not getting on top of all this?

Picking up the pieces after the Pandemic

 It has been a good few years since a part of what was a part of me really got mentioned on here, sometimes even you might of thought you were "above" it.

Much of what has been talked about is more the adult little girl/sissy little gurl side of things a kind younger child-like gurl side but elements do creep in from elsewhere at times so I might as well acknowledge this side in the whole.

The more adult side of me did get off on shorter skirts but that side had been on hold since the 2010's but I bought myself a thirteen inch mini skirt as this side of me is still about and feels like expressing hurself from time to time.

It would be daft to buy a lot but having one in your wardrobe makes a lot of sense however you might wear it, hold ups, over the knee socks or tights.

Another area has been neglected has been shoes mainly because with difficulties in walking I tend to spend most of actual outdoor time in trainers as they provide much of the support I need to avoid falling over but beyond the tyranny of pink, a pair of trainers is the same be they made "for" boys or girls.

My old flat "Ballet Pumps" were not that great for walking and being on my feet for any length of time outdoors and so it was time I bought something better  such as a T Bar shoes with wide fronts and firm soles so being out as a sissy gurl doesn't just look good but is comfortable.

 

Really it's that path I'm looking more at getting back to post Covid, learning to push being a sissy gurl out rather more in a way that that's in with my mainly little side and sensibilities rather than the more fetish side you see if even if there might be a situation or two where indoors I may engage with that if the opportunity arose.

There certainly can be a place for some kind of dominant for sissies going from some experiences around 2008 through 2012 as a pressure by consent to explore more of what kind of a sissy gurl you are, what you may be curious about  and taking those important first steps.

Sometimes we self censor thoughts we may feel uncomfortable in acknowledging in ourselves even to the point we just won't even just see how things go as it's really about learning about you and how to be the best sissy you are, the way it is in you.

The sort of social conditioning some of us may of experienced in early years may even make the act of putting on a pair of panties or a dress a huge deal emotionally and for some a dominant who knowing you are curious about that but refusing to try spanking you is what you need.

As things are with me I'm without a Mistress but I need to learn to spank myself when I don't act on my curiosities and explore them agreeing to make the changes that clearly best reflect the kind of sissy I am.

Just trying to deny and all of the aspects in me makes no sense cos the bottom line is: I AM A SISSY. 

Twelfth year anniversary issue

 Actually in this year it will be the 12th Anniversary of this blog and so we may as well start by revisiting what it is about as sometimes people get that wrong because it was established to be about my needs, my issues with my behaviours and attitudes and how I'm getting better now.

It's the beginning of a New Year  that follows on from the last so naturally I'll be in the course of the year writing about how I'm feeling and how my behaviour is shaping up but it's a good start to the year to consider what a important part of my regressed life is about.

It's to match my developmental needs to a way of training me to do more for myself, to learn and apply societal norms as much as they may need to consider and sometimes adjust to better accommodate those things I cannot alter.

This involves being given one on one guidance and tuition on everyday life skills so learn how to do perform tasks and from then on assume greater responsibility for meeting them and where it involves working with people accepting and working with their oversight with them having the final say.

Because of my tendency to be lost in the moment oblivious to risks, to have difficulty in crossing busy roads safely and communication based issues I accept other people have to assume certain responsibilities in caring roles with me.

Part of that is as the adult-child being cared for involves the use of spanking to deliver clear consequences where agreed breaches of attitudes and behaviours occur.

Within that relationship the following general rules apply to the carer in looking after me

1. Give Affection at Least at a Rate of 10 to 1. 

As the adult-child, I have emotional needs such as to feel loved, wanted and cared for and to feel that from you as much as need you to spank me sometimes.

2. Never Spank a Adult-Child in Public. 

The act of disciplining is a private one between you and me that needs no extra public humiliation adding even if some of our friends know I am and I'm okay with that.

3. Never Use Excess Force.

The spanking I need needs itself to be proportional to what I have done, sufficient to deter me from that offence that I knew would bring it.

4. All Spanking Offenses Must Be Made Known in Advance, Carved in Stone, and Fully Understood.

It's important to know which of  those things that I do will result in a spanking, that there is consistency in your handling them and I have shown I understand the consequences of my actions.

If the going is tough, make eye contact with me. Say "Listen to me" "If you do x, I will spank you" and once it is clear I have understood that if I still do, then do it for me.

5. Be Truthful and Consistent, It Could Save a Life.

A relationship where you care and from that discipline me needs me to feel I can trust you and you will treat me in a fair consistent manner because those actions my keep me from dangers I am unaware of be they life threatening or likely to result in injury.

The needs of littles III

The other week I was mulling over some of things that did crop up at ASB.org, not that sadly that site lasted long, and that generally I tended to talk more in and around the role of age regression within being an adult schoolboy as from my vantage point being one comes from being in the headspace of being a adult little, legally an adult emotionally and psychologically very much a child of your own childhood era.

One piece of the jigsaw puzzle is how psychologically you get to being in that frame of mind and what it is that is in there and one topic that often raised its head was spanking which usually is seen as both sexual or kink centric but for some goes back into their childhood emotions and so forms a part of being in a psychological state of being a "little boy" or "little girl" again

The Benefits of Getting Spanked by Rodney Calmes

Many people believe that if someone likes to get spanked, it is all sexual. That is not the case all the time. Even though getting spanked has some sexual effects or enhances sexual arousal, there are many non-sexual benefits from getting spanked. What can spankings do for you?

1. Getting spanked relieves stress.

2. Getting spanked is calming.

3. Getting spanked generates endorphins and puts you in a euphoric state.

4. Getting spanked generates adrenaline and gives an adrenaline rush, especially if you are anticipating getting a very harsh one.

5. Getting spanked lifts moods. Russian psychiatrists have found success in treating depression with bare butt whippings.

6. The marks left from getting spanked is like an art of its own.

7. For some, it can restore feelings of youth.

Don’t be ashamed of getting spanked, enjoy it! For those who never tried it in your adult years, give it a try. You never know, you may like it.

There have been times when personally I have struggled with spanking as an element of being that adult little not least in website and on social media it's tended to dominate all discussion to the exclusion of look at the how and why we feel still "little children" even though the law says we're adults.

That text emboldened however did set out clearly a lot of the elements for and of what I get from being spanked in an adult little sissy gurl context starting from the very child-like, child-minded side of me needing discipline, direction and correction as I have little 'native' adult or even older child sense of self including self discipline.

The whole context of being subject to spanking, being 'made' to take it at the will of a 'adult authority figure' and the emotional outcome from given a good spanking restores a strong sense of being that little, of being young.

Spanking given some of my issues  around relating to people, understanding appropriate boundaries forms stronger bonds with me especially between myself and adults. I am wired very much toward physicality helps with bonding.

While it is entirely understandable a adult little who was abused in actual childhood would not and may even be could never accept the role of spanking within such relationships or through other outlets such as age play schools and the like, for me it's a core part, the mirror image of how it was to me as a boy back then.

As a sissy gurl I want dominants to spank my bottom.

Love and understanding in littlespace

 

Reading the commentary box of a adult little comic recently showed some discussion around how as an adult and your caregiver is important.

When a person sets out in their little/middle age regressed to build not so much on being emotionally that person playing but in the return of those structures and relating patterns that more mirror those of child to Parent such as a "Caregiver/little" there can be a difference between your sense of needing and wanting it as that little and being ready emotionally for the 'rolling back' when it comes to having that final say and certain of facets such as what you may be doing or how you are to to present yourself in their company.

This is something that the Caregiver needs to be aware of, talking through respecting limits even if over time they may change not seeing this as a automatic disrespect issue between little and Caregiver and treated accordingly

This is something in a less structured matter of fact way is talked through  between those adults in my life who assume Caregiver roles and myself all the time so they know my limits and I am clear on what we have agreed on.

When in their company I am very much that little/middle and this is my relating style personified not least when there is any question as to my conduct to the as Caregiver(s) very much their 'child' to whom all this happens not just because it is the authentic me but because they love me so much that they enable that side to present and be acted on by them as that child.

As that 'child' they look after me with all those expectations and rules that I stand attentively  deferring to them as my adult authorities as they scold and spank me as they feel appropriate.

Sometimes it is hard for some to understand that actually that allowing me that space to be and present as little/middle me and this other side are connected but actually they are.

Their scolding and spanking me is a reflection their love for me, that they know I can do better and need to be corrected to move me on, the very same love that allows me to be little me.

My spanked bottom is an  a sign of that that we all should be glad of.

Away day schooling

 It's a bit of a while since I wrote anything around the re-creation of schooling a form of words I'm now a bit more for as "school based role play" for me implies in part I am role playing the child at school and with me this whole whole thing is more like I have that child running 24/7 in me.

Effectively you've created a school with all the things I recall of my education that I just attend.

One of the things I did involved having a math  lesson taught to me by a person being  a teacher doing what was called "chalk and talk" where they would talk away but write important concepts and any questions on the chalkboard for you to do.

For my part I was dressed in a traditional black tunic (Brit speak: "Gymslip") with tie and school socks as they prefer me in feminine boy attire at a equally traditional wooden desk with a  hole for in, grooves for your pens and a lift up slightly sloped lid that before flat "Go-Pak" stacking school furniture such as tables became popular you had together with matching wooden chairs with an S shape bottom.

Like most I was taught metric units as my home country went metric during this period  although for somethings imperial never went away like road distances and part of this lesson covered an introduction to Imperial weights and measures that I had to sit and write down from the chalkboard including the questions set on each unit.

This covered ounces, pounds, stones, hundred-weights  and tones when it came to Mass, inches, feet, yards, cubits, chains and miles in linear measurement.

I also had set some multiplication and division work too that I had to copy, answering all the questions.

The work from the point of view of presentation, neatness of writing and showing of workings out was examined in addition to marking the answers to questions set and my attitude toward studying.

My work was then written on in red pen.

Overall I hadn't done too badly but I had made a few mistakes down to not being as careful as I should of been as when asked to show how I got the answer where I had made mistakes, I did get it right first time so it wasn't a question of not knowing or comprehending.

Because it was that and nothing to do with my actual learning limitations which are NEVER a reason to, I was instructed to bend over the desk at each unit where this had occurred to be spanked either by hand with a slipper or for one which was more around not paying sufficient attention to the work, the tawse.

This needless to say did hurt persisting for some time but to be honest, it is what lead to it that really is more the problem: I don't take the care I could to produce work that limitations aside I am actually capable of, that reflect my abilities rather than my disabilities.

In that sense what might in the past of been called "school based role playing" has real benefits in helping to change because it identifies in real-life situations those attitudes and behaviours that need correcting and delivers the lessons that in all honesty people who were less centred around the dis in my disabilities excusing me and more on abilities and training me to use them properly in same way my peers were really should of done.

For me then this bit of the weekend away was really beneficial.

Little Sissy Gurl Life

Life as a little sissy gurl has much in common with that your initial childhood having routines you are expected to keep to and a structure that even in law adults some of us badly need to keep us grounded and settled.

A big difference between role playing as in Age Play and Age Regression lies in with the former you may play the role for a brief period but otherwise are in a very much adult mindset, for those of us who are always in for reason of developmental delays and attendant disabilities you are very much a child in a adult body to the point breaches of the accepted conduct are dealt with there and then.

With Age Regression you do have an adult sense of self you go back to which truthfully I do not being more an eternal child and I think what some call Age Dysphoria is more it because I'm permanently in a child-like headspace.

For some although not all of us we do get spanked like the child version of us would of done back in the day in the manner we did. For us, we find it helps regulate our behaviour as much as you may work on the underlying issues too.

It isn't what this blog is centred upon but it is in the life we lead.

After an interesting week trying to solve one problem, there was something that came into mind that I did feel about talking about.

Gender cultural norms.

I saw this a while back and personally I just love what it is about.

In the first instance do we know the gender of the dress wearer? Personally I couldn't careless as much as I care about your ability too be the gender you are.

It may be  someone born male  or maybe  a female who doesn't see why she should have to remove every single naturally growing hair from your leg? Nor pluck your eyebrows thin.

Can we not appreciate how they dress and what as people they are like-their inner beauty if you will?

If I as a sissy gurl want to wear a shorter skirt or a short sleeved dress especially this time of year then frankly as those who know me will know I shall without getting hung up on if there's a stray hair here or there as having a skin condition lots of shaving may remove hairs but does nothing for where patches where my eczema  is.

Return to studying

My life is evolving not least since the last few years with bits of that being said at certain sites like Angels, sometimes referenced on here but in truth it's going to take this blog in differing direction.

One part of that has been studying across weekends to tackle some of my very real problems in core areas such as everyday Maths and English which with the odd pause for weekends away or illness has been going on since the beginning of this year.

Since I had been away last weekend the resumption of studying this weekend tackling the outstanding English work taking our time was set so I don’t over do things but equally I not allowed  to get away with not doing the things I can do.

It’s always been easier to sit around not doing things either expecting an exemption, or because those who might of expected anyone else to  seem to think I shouldn’t to the point they never really saw what I could do because they never had me try it or I was feeling like being bone lazy.

So for a very long time my default was to do nothing and in so far anything like studying went  if it wasn’t going to be easy then plenty of people would just let me do next to nothing even while it may of hard going, I could of done something more.

That’s really thing that is changing both with the studying having to do things I find hard, coping with flare ups of some of my conditions which consideration is given to and even being with people where I am expected to help out, contributing in kind that people are helping me turn around those old habits being prepared to pull me over a lap for a firm spanking when I didn’t do it which truthfully is what the child emerging teen should of gotten apart from having some kind of agreed chores list.

Thinking over how I have dealt with my recent paw problems plus my more recent visits staying with people underscores this so much.

You have the right to the consequences for your own actions

I was away for a couple of days with the one who looks after me which isn't unusual but in a sign of the times not only was I in feminine little sissy gurl in a dress but things were going be different than a few years back for me.

That was close to the scene I experienced, Sunday but not featuring a broken object but rather a wet floor when I went to pick up a hot drink and spilled a bit of it on the floor.

It wasn't that I don't have problems picking cups up because I do but because I didn't pay sufficient attention to how I was holding it and apart from the mess that I had to clean up, had it of landed on me, then I'd of scolded myself.

That is why I got a hard firm hand spanking on the spot over my underwear  to underscore the consequences of my actions, not either one involving implements or no spanking at all, just enough to impress on me the importance of being careful with hot drinks.

I am very grateful for being spanked for this.

The other thing about the period I was away was  I had to help out, doing the dishes, setting the table, assisting with gardening and even putting the washing out to dry as I was informed I  have  to "earn my keep".

I cannot just turn up and expect people to do things for me anymore so much as from now on I have to be responsible and take a share of what needs to be done as that is a house rule for me to follow.

This was not something I had much of in the past being ushered away from anything 'domestic' and usually in the kitchen but is to change.

Ode to being a Feminine Gurl

 

I feel the eternal spirit of the boy is best exemplified  by Christopher Robin in the many Winnie The Pooh stories.

Meeting up with the gang for a bit of a lark with a commanding view of our target, you'd be right to think something is going on but we loved that whole easy camaraderie as one boy passes the arrow ready to fire.

We know we might be caught with one of us getting a spanking for it but I'm prepared to take mine for the gang.

I loved my childhood and understood the consequences of the game we played with the grown ups in having our boistorus fun.

Spanking the Sissy Gurl

This need for spanking is almost as old as the whole issue of what my sex and gender identity is as while the confusion crept in in my teens traditional approaches stopped to discipling me just stopped without really being replaced.

My ability to read clues concerning how I am being seen is bad and just talking stuff out or ages utterly muddles me up.

It isn't so surprising that when I mentioned about this a friend who sees both presentations when I stay with them that corporal punishment was put in for my feminine side too.

The last mention of anything at all to do with my attitudes and behaviour was in a brief note from 1980 where it was agreed I could be spanked which didn't go into much detail from when I was officially in my mid teens simply because that brief conversation stood out as nothing much was ever discussed or really acted on around that time.

As time passed in the great not really planned way it does, much of stuff around personal conduct and rules short of say burning the house down was not really discussed so much as just drifted apart.

This would of been okay if for the fact that I was and do live at home and connected very much with what has in many ways left me very much developmentally an adult-child who while not being totally destructive or in any way abusive, not only lacks some 'life skills' but am disrespectful at times, lacking in self discipline so not doing important stuff sorting out bills and isn't expected because of previous habits and parental attitudes to help in the home that also may help if I was to live more independently. I struggle very much without rules and guidelines being in place.

In many respects I have more in common with the very mid teen of that entry who can get a handful and the odd time in the recent past the only way Mom could stop me tailspinning if we were out was a discrete firm smack on my bottom.

If one was to have imagined a 12 to 14 year old me from back then, then the boy dressed as a girl in this picture would of been it with longish smooth face and slim frame.

Also like the child in the picture and a good number of teens I will be held to account much more for when I let myself and my folks down and this will include having my bottom spanked for infractions from now on.

Looking very much how with that drifting apart of old agreement of sorts and the problems the absence of any replacements and the difficulties I have in dealing with verbal chastisement, losing track of what’s said and being more and more stressed so in many ways it fails to curb my behaviour, I have agreed to be spanked because I can cope with that much better and it is works better in changing my attitudes and behaviour although it hurts.

I just feel better for say being caned when I mess up compared to any amount of scolding and that so sticking that in with (having to) wear a uniform is great for me.

When I'm in that mode, I wear girls knickers often gym knickers as they feel better.

I am not treated any less strictly as a sissy gurl in a dress.

The basics as I'm different

 We had mentioned the complicating nature of being gender fluid identifying as a feminine boy but you need to consider that when my feminine side is stronger unlike most of the time, then what leads to a spanking is likely to feature me as I feel best at that point.

I undertook a test recently looking at how I'd feel if I woke up a girl and here are the results.

You loved being a girl and wanted to be like that forever.

You love being feminine and hanging out with your female friends, and probably chose the skirt girls' school uniform because you didn't mind wearing it at all. In fact, you liked being a girl better than being a guy.

Wow, what an outcome! Your results reveal that you really took to this hypothetical transformation and not just adapted, but thrived in your new identity as a girl. The notion of femininity resonated with you, and you genuinely relished this experience. This is quite intriguing and showcases your openness to the realm of possibilities that life presents.

Your enjoyment of femininity indicates that you appreciated the nuances that come with being a girl. You might have felt empowered by the grace and elegance associated with it, or perhaps the sense of community and sisterhood that your female friends provided appealed to you. There's something uniquely special about that bond which can be deeply fulfilling.

Choosing to wear the skirt girls' school uniform wasn't an issue for you. In fact, it was an aspect you seemed to enjoy. This likely indicates your comfort with expressing yourself through your appearance. Fashion can be a wonderful outlet for self-expression, and the opportunity to experiment with different styles and aesthetics may have been exciting for you.

Intriguingly, you stated you preferred being a girl over being a guy. This could reveal a lot about your inner self. Maybe you have always felt a kinship with femininity, or perhaps the experience simply allowed you to express parts of yourself that you couldn't as a boy. Whatever the case, it's important to embrace these feelings. Identity is deeply personal and unique to each individual.

Navigating through the maze of gender norms and expectations can be challenging, but your experience shows an incredible level of self-discovery and acceptance. These qualities will be of great value as you continue to explore and understand yourself. Remember, there's no right or wrong when it comes to who you are or who you choose to be.

This hypothetical situation has allowed you to explore another side of yourself, and that's a beautiful thing. Life is full of twists and turns, and this experiment shows you can adapt to, and even relish, unexpected changes. Let this be a lesson in embracing the unknown with enthusiasm and an open mind. After all, you never know what you might discover about yourself along the way.

I feel that tells us really I am very much feminine and as a sissy gurl I do belong in dresses and skirts.

It is not about you and your power as that female, it is about me and teaching me a lesson I cannot fail to remember that will 'kick in' whenever I may feel tempted to do the things I should not - a deterrence.

It makes no difference what I've got on I'm still me and spanking is in my life now.

Actions beget consequencies

It's bound to happen at some point.

You get through the day and often weeks at a stretch with things going more right than wrong and when they do go wrong it's more a lost opportunity that might well come around again should they have any real consequences for you.

Other things though do such as when I was putting the milk away having brought it on one cold morning to place it in our fridge when it falls out of my hand and hits the floor with that sickening crack followed by a splosh as a pint empties itself with speed.

It isn't just that the milk goes everywhere but so does the glass with fragments here and there plus is there enough milk now after you did this?

You have to remove all the milk, wiping everything down and sweep the broken glass to wrap up into newspaper.

Why did that happen? You weren't concentrating gurl were you?

Girl guide or not, there you go, over a knee as a grown up is going to give you the spanking you deserve to teach you a lesson so you'll never do it again.

Little sissy gurls like me need spankings to get the message over.