Observations

Another week and a bit of  a follow up from last week in some respects following on from the period just before I was away.

Interestingly since the week before and the period after Camp I have been getting up a good deal earlier  by at least a good hour which isn't just a matter of things such as bright mornings although at the end of the month that finger turning ritual of setting every clock and watch to Daylight Saving aka British Summer Time Begins where we kid ourselves the night is so much brighter.

It's not a trick I fall for but when official time is altered you can't live as if it hasn't really as transport goes to it - railways being what moved the UK to a standardized time in the first place - and shows on the radio and tv are listed to that too.

No it's something that has been talked about in the context of high school children,  namely the tendency to check before bed and then having taken a device to bed to start waking up around three and rationalize looking around the likes of news sites saying I'll just have a quick look and soon a few hours goes by and maybe you crash to sleep.

Then you wake up quite a bit later as you've hit deep sleep later than you would of so you start the day late having had less sleep.

Given my spoon issues anyway it's not good so I'm keeping the electrics downstairs at night.

Perhaps I need old school parenting?

Tammy needs the swish of the cane at times.

What I learned from being away

I was away for a few days with friends recently and here's some reflections upon that time.

There are some reflections I do feel the need to talk about about on here one is learning to be grateful for what people freely do for you such as seeing I was struggling at one railway station a couple kindly offered to help carry my luggage and even checked when I got to the end of the stairwell I was all right who I no idea of. I thanked them profusely for caring so much and acting on it.

There's the people who kept an eye on me as I was feeling a little homesick where I stayed, spending time with and the friend who knowing the sort of fiction I like, gave me a cherished book from their collection which they sure didn't have to and to which I didn't expect at all after giving them a dolly I thought they'd love.

Then there is a friend of mine who kindly put me up, offering a cooked meal and a lift to the train coming back completely out of the blue, seeing I was on the right platform for my train to come in. Even when I found I simply could not eat the whole of their home made and cooked meal rather than just saying it was very nice-and it was was absolutely lovely- from nowhere I found myself apologizing to them for not finishing my meal clearly feeling contrite.

These acts of kindness really moved me but whereas in the past I'd of blocked out my emotions I thanked them properly for all those things they did not have to do,that I have no right to expect nor demand expressing my gratitude, revealing my sense of being humbled openly.

Another thing was around making sure I stayed within contact while meeting one person after a rail journey, letting them know it was doing  and when I would be seeing them which as you may recall resulted in a lecture and spanking last time which I did.

As well I was asked to keep it on while they were going out of the house for a short period later on because they may be delayed and I just complied with the request with no back chat which showed I had learned from last times experiences.

While a few people needed a reminder to tidy up and put their plates in the dishwasher while we were away, I did not and indeed that I had was held up as an example for others to follow.

I think the one thing I can take away from this period is while I may have some distance to go and the potential to relapse, the six days did show I was moving on, being responsible and how I'm being helped to change is really helping me.  

You have the right to the consequences for your own actions

I was away for a couple of days with the one who looks after me which isn't unusual but in a sign of the times not only was I in feminine little sissy gurl in a dress but things were going be different than a few years back for me.

That was close to the scene I experienced, Sunday but not featuring a broken object but rather a wet floor when I went to pick up a hot drink and spilled a bit of it on the floor.

It wasn't that I don't have problems picking cups up because I do but because I didn't pay sufficient attention to how I was holding it and apart from the mess that I had to clean up, had it of landed on me, then I'd of scolded myself.

That is why I got a hard firm hand spanking on the spot over my underwear  to underscore the consequences of my actions, not either one involving implements or no spanking at all, just enough to impress on me the importance of being careful with hot drinks.

I am very grateful for being spanked for this.

The other thing about the period I was away was  I had to help out, doing the dishes, setting the table, assisting with gardening and even putting the washing out to dry as I was informed I  have  to "earn my keep".

I cannot just turn up and expect people to do things for me anymore so much as from now on I have to be responsible and take a share of what needs to be done as that is a house rule for me to follow.

This was not something I had much of in the past being ushered away from anything 'domestic' and usually in the kitchen but is to change.