Colouring and calling time on patterns of behaviour

 

On a bright sunny not as warm as it was yesterday morning I went in to town, which is almost a history trip in  itself in our district and ventured into the local branch of McColls, the newsstore group in Cheshire passing the weekly outdoor market with the fashion and fruit stores with the store holders engaged in sales patter.

Well with some of my up and down emotions of late I felt the need to have something to do that would be enjoyable so I picked up this Frozen colouring book I could work through armed with my stack of coloured pencils. Given my feminine gurl side was ascendant I so need this.

Going to other things, last week at one site I was talking about about the origins of some of my cycles of behaviour, how they trip me up and what perhaps can be done to break them.

One thing I do need need to be up front about is some aspects of this behaviour is centred in modern contexts that when I was in my teens simply would not of been foreseen because modern life itself is different.

It seems I am going need to learn to leave my netbook well away from my sleeping space rather like my cellphone always is, simply because when it's at hand with it's glowing power lead, I lack the ability not to be able to look up from the bed without wanting to 'just go check' something or other when I really need to be sleeping ready for first thing next morning.

That sounds very much like a modern teen/parent battleground rather than someone who at least according to the law is an adult but does show something of the problems around lack of focus and personal responsibility I have and it might be I need to be given a consequence for that one lapse.

At one site I had an interesting exchange with two people about around the limits of behaviour, how it is that you can reach the point where somebody needs to be saying, “You're out of line and this IS stopping”, although you may not like the fact that they did it.

I was openly moved by their recognition that even if you may be legally an adult and perhaps in some kind of relationship too this doesn't end and that they'd still have a need to be kept in line.

The way this mature young person put it came over to me as a timely reminder to finally accept what she does, that you are not without limits on your behaviour-there comes a point when they WILL be applied-and it's for your own good.

Another young person indicated I need to try harder to improve on my behaviour as they themselves do.

They didn't have to reach out to me but obviously felt I needed this so it's time I took a step forward.