Righting misconceptions

In what is the last post of this month  there are things I feel are worth talking about and one of them is how people tend to see you within our allied communities.

This came into focus last week when after responding to a post I got a rather length and given the site in question's messaging system with poor punctuation a little hard to fully make out but it read as a scenario they had involved me in.

Then there was another that read as an apology for including references to adult scenes as they had read later on posts that talked about being a LITTLE sissy gurl which was a very BIG thing for them to do  but it does show how in the wider sissy world there is this blind presumption that ignores us.

I am majorly a Little and for me it's all about being or re-enactment of the life of a younger child me who was a Sissy but who didn't get the opportunities then to let hur sissy gurl self out who loves play, dress ups, colouring, music and reading. 

Basically I am like an Adult Little Girl other than my gender is Gurl, too feminine for boys and more girlier than most girls who presents as that gurl of around nine or  ten and loves that uncomplicated non sexualized world which ought to be protected.

A gurl like me is purposely dressed in a child-like and marginally more childish for a girl of that age in things like hardwearing corduroy skirts ankle socks and converse trainers.

You'll have me in girls character knickers and tops for playing in and girls school uniform for learning while in all occasions if I'm a bit cheeky or naughty you'll put me over a lap for a spanking just like gurls of my era had.

That's the thing, it would be like things were back then but all happening right now so have a new-old happier sissy gurl life being able to be myself which was what I wanted then and this thing is all about now

Reading for me

Reading is something I do enjoy although it has to be said my reading age is like the rest of developmentally me at a more child-like one so I generally read junior fiction finding even many 'young adults' fiction goes very much over my head so it's not something you can fix by just looking the odd word up in your dictionary.

I do enjoy stories centred on home and school life finding then easy to empathize to and relate with.

I quite like this, a cartoon based on the Enid Blyton The Naughtiest Girl series where Elizabeth Allen is sent to a unique co-ed boarding school hating the very idea as she really dislikes structure being impulsive and given for saying just what she thinks.

What is so unique about this school is in many ways it's those very school children who set the rules and in effect discipline each other with the adults in the background for guidance, the idea being they'll learn to  be self disciplined more by co-opting it rather than being made to.

September returns or Going Back

Tis the time the great going back starts in earnest after seven weeks of the hols as you go through your stuff sorting out what needs to be replaced and your folks, normally your Mum start doing the same with your uniform where you may end up having to try on new trousers.

Thus this time feels just like it did being taken to the shops to get your uniform and school equipment from the days in juniors when I wore short trousers rather like this.

I have been very unwell for a period in connection with my role in a local authority for a period now and I have what is called 'Leave of absence' which means I need not attend any meetings although I will be kept up to date with anything important which given my role is  the next most important after the Clerk obviously does matter.

Put very simply I am going through a nervous breakdown, throwing things, walking pensively for ages ready to explode or bursting in tears crying for ages not just at home but at work who are trying to help me. I simply cannot cope with what I have been left to do, working all hours even losing part of my vacation to council business doing things others want but won't do themselves.

I feel I have hit the end of the road at least in so far as anything beyond work and family responsibility goes and more over it seems to me at least this attempt at trying to be more of a public grown up figure when in all honesty I'm more childlike.

Back then I knew very much who I was, what I was to do with support which to be frank I don't get anymore although I need it and there was a clear cut break between school time and free time.

While talking by email with the clerk, I decided to take a step backwards from now on and outside of work I'm going draw up a timetable like I had at school and ensure time outside of it won't be spent chained to the telephone and computer.

I have also decided to put together a school type uniform to wear with a grey junior skirt option when I'm not working, being at home as the kind of structure, routines and discipline of that era is what I badly need and this with more support from my folks is what I do need.

I just cannot cope with full on adult life.