Evangelion1.11 (you are NOT alone)

This release from the tail end of April on Manga recently arrived here.

It's a re-envisioning of the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime from the mid 1990's by its creator Hideaki Anno but done in a cinematic form which was highly regarding for stretching the possibilities of anime as an art form.

This new version comes in four parts of which this is the first having the eight episodes of the original and then some more.

I don't generally care much for mecha as a genre but this held may attention last night as I watched it all the way through.

Shinji, a boy entrusted to fly an EVA to save the rebuilt city of Tokyo-3 from the rampaging angels is an interesting character, being a worrier and having a severe lack of confidence which is not helped by his fathers lack of affection for him.

His job is to defend Tokyo-3 or die trying.

I don't own the original in the Platinum Edition that many rave over but it seemed to me they resigned in the CGI preserving the feel of the series while allowing advances in anime production since them to be used in telling the story.

I really enjoyed this.

New arrivals

We're officially in spring so there's a few thoughts in what is proving to be an interesting year.

In my world as much as liked the annuals I had I also did like and wanted to have some of the girls ones too.

As a feminine gurl I like to wear dresses and to had been able to wear pinafore dress to school as that schoolgurl

While I'd of been happy to attended Cubs with any boy and to of worn the original uniform including short trousers because It was practical, in all honesty I'd of sooner of been a Brownie and worn our brown tunic because I am more girlish whatever biologically my sex might be.

I was NEVER transgendered just a boy by sex with a feminine side who needed to be themselves as a Gurl.

Reflections on Grandad

Moving on from my Birthday, one of big influences on me was my Grandad on Daddy's side of the family.

He was very much into gardening, following people like Percy Thrower, who like us came from the Midlands, in his case Shropshire who presented for many years the BBC's gardening show on tv and also had a lot to do with the Blue Peter garden on that show that I adored as a boy back then.

Although his house was fairly modest, he used every inch of space to make for himself a lovely garden with roses, border plants and the like that he could sit in the summer with us, enjoying a cup of tea and where we could play on the swing if he didn't take us to the park.

He introduced me to potting plants and growing things for myself.

It's why I miss him after these years.

Proof of my feminine ways

How Girly are you? Your Result: Little Girl Girly   This species like to stay young girls forever. They tend to ware bows, ribbons, in their hair until they are 70, and talk like little girls through out their lives.
Semi-Ultra Girly	 
Just Girly	 
Ultra Girly	 
Not So Girly	 
Tom Boy Girly	 
Valley Girl Girly	 
Girly...F***K That!	 
How Girly are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I love to be dressed up like this.
In soft   flowing  skirts with frilly slips and knickers together with pretty pussy bow socks.

Mousetrap

I just love traditional children board games such as mouse trap although the colours of the parts have altered since I first played it.

They always came out at parties, weekends and inevitably Christmas with my siblings and friends and part of the fun wasn't the game so much as the socializing we did whilst playing.

This game was frist invented by Ideal in 1963.
This is what comes with the game:

1 Gameboard

4 Mice

30 Cheese Cards

1 Die

1 Instructions

28 Mouse Trap Building Parts and Accessories

As you'd expect, the object is to trap mice in the mousetrap, while avoiding getting trapped. By rolling the dice, you proceed around the game board, collecting cheese pieces and building a mousetrap bit by bit. 

Once complete, you set the wheels in motion, as it were, to try to capture the opposition's mice. 

But this is no ordinary trap. 

With this contraption you start by turning the crank, that rotates the gears, that push the lever, that moves the shoe, that kicks the bucket, that sends the ball down the stairs and into the gutter, that leads to the rod that releases a second ball, that falls through the bathtub and onto the springboard, that catapults the diver into the washtub, that causes the cage to fall and-whew.- hopefully, capture a mouse. 

The last "mouse" left uncaptured wins.
The crazy zany game of catching rodents using the wildest mousetraps in the world. Flush the toilet to activate 1 of 3 great traps.

I'd love to play this with anyone for hours at a stretch!

Tellingly I still have my original boyhood one at home.

Tartan mania

 I have this mania for short tartan skirts which no dooubt is yet another part of my  inner girl's loves having something of a crush on tartan back then.

The finish is really lovely and having an elasticated waist band is a perfect fit working well with black tights and shoes.

What I am

Let's of things are happening this year, one been overseen transformation and envelope pushing to really find the femme me under the vanilla coating my upbringing required me to role play.

That period where puberty breaks out is always messy and with me the combination of being both feminine and submissive with a devopmental delay for good measure  really messed things  up cos you have this persona of the feminine schoolboy, mind on academic and sports but then outside of that you don't just explore your more sensual feelings and how they may play out with others.

You shouldn't be sexualized as that school boy or girl but being truthful, you have a sexual side you're learning to handle.

The official approved narritive runs gender (the social expression of what it means to be male or female) and biological sex whose changes have rather imposed themselves on you are different but while they refer to different aspects they are connected really.

So far all we have been looking at is  more changing your clothes but there is really more to work though such as your attitudes.

What defines you as a male for instance? Your penis does, no matter how puny and pathetic it is plus a penis is not a feminine thing. 

From now on, I am to call it my boyclit. 

Another element in all this despite my brain damage and associated developmental issues my pyschosexual and biological side has being on fixed post puberty side meaning I can be s3xually needy and feel s3xual attraction.

Miss D said: "Since you stated that you are a gurl that does not crave relief - even after being so nicely frilled - it makes Me wonder if you can't be trained to crave relief like all the other sissy sluts... "

Discussion has lead to taking steps to move me on such as wearing adult lingerie.

I am being encouraged to act as soon as able socially on feeling that neediness ONLY when in panties getting wet and sticky in them so there's a clear connection between being feminine and being more grown up s3xually.

It's to move me to where really I should of got with my peers able to balance being an older child with the young adult s3xuality in appropriate and safe settings letting it out.

The other problem with my boyclit is that it enables me to pee standing up. Not any more. 

From now on I will sit down to pee like a proper girl. 

That means pulling down my trousers, pulling down my pantyhose, pulling down your panties and then having a  pee. I am expected to wipe myself when I've finished. 

Every time I pee, I will drop my panties gurl style from now on.