Made to be a pretty doll with doll collection

The world of tammy wasn't always the happiest of places because nobody cared that much that she was a gurl even if the paperwork recorded her down as a boy no matter how many clues when it came to her interests and behaviour she let out.

What I wanted the most was to wear the prettiest of dresses with frills and dainty shoes just like the most feminine of girls, presenting as my own gender, sissy, and enjoying it to the full.

I'd happily be put in this just like a little dolly.

One fascination I had in my junior years was collecting dolls in their individual national costumes partly as a gateway into finding out about different countries, customs and cultures and also because I just loved dolls with their pretty outfits.

The alpine regions of Italy, Switzerland and Austria also held a fascination for me too.

Just William

Recently I acquired this new edition in a classic children's stories published for the Daily Mail Newspaper in 2004.

Just William is the first book of children's short stories about the young school boy William Brown, written by Richmal Crompton, and published in 1922. The book was the first in the series of William Brown books which was the basis for numerous television series, films and radio adaptations.

William  is an eleven-year-old schoolboy in a village in England. 
He is the Leader of the Outlaws,a gang.

 William is unique in schoolboy literature – confident, strong-willed, independent-minded with original world-views, a born leader who is keen to be chief in any undertaking of the Outlaws. 

He does not care about his clothes or appearance, wears a scowl as his best "company manners" and hates small talk. 

He loves to play Red Indians and pirates, and readily embarks on any project, from catching wartime spies or making a "moon rocket", to editing a "newspaper" or organizing a "circus" or "show", often featuring his pet dog Jumble as reluctant star. 

William usually has a withering contempt for girls and women (except his mother) but can occasionally be chivalrous although he has a soft spot for his neighbour, Joan, who admires him enormously. 

A rebel and die-hard optimist, William often shows a strong sense of responsibility when the situation demands, an unwillingness to back out of challenges and a bulldog-like determination to overcome hurdles. 

He frequently has to manage his own ambitions to take along the other outlaws although he never dominates or forces them to go along with him.

His imagination and love of adventure constantly get him into strange and difficult situations. Peculiar complications often arise when he tries to "help" others, but as fortune favours the brave, William usually wins.

I remember watching the dramatized tv series on the ITV network in the 1970's and he was an influence on me, sharing much at the time with a life in boys gangs, wild in some ways but very moral in others.

Re-reading the first story has been a great experience for me.

The World of Charlie Brown and Peanuts

I was tidying my small pile of books today when I spotted this old favourite of mine.

I've had this from the mid 1970's, actually it's a new 1974 edition, well thumbed through and with that tan coloration you get on older books especially on less expensive paper probably because reading this as a child made me so happy.

I have a few more books of Charles M Schultz's Peanuts cartoon strip series as I loved the tv animated series and its characters.

You're always a Sissy Gurl

Being a Little later on in your life  is not the easiest of concepts to explain to people principally because people associate the frame of mind of the person to their age as recorded by their chronological date of birth  deeming some interests to be either child like or heaven forbid childish.

It doesn't matter as a feminine boy if I wear short trousers or a skirt I'm always the same little sissy gurl and never a wanna be girl.

This scares the living daylights out of a significant number of people who hold on to notions of age appropriate behaviour not least because some forms may impact on your ability to function in the world of employment.

To me this could only be true if you were functioning at an infant level - think oversized baby - needing total attention and supervision but this isn't what I'm talking about.
I think most are familiar with the idea of the 'inner child' who many psychologists say lives on in everyone. 

The difference I would say is many of our likes remain at that level, we aren't necessarily comfortable with some aspects of 'adult' living and there's little collation between that and our IQ or general functioning.

To put things into context I've held political office representing an authority, contributed to and accepted responsibility for setting budgets  and programs whilst being a 'little'  because I can choose when to present the little sissy gurl physically and when I can use that to the advantage of society having an immediate empathy with children to help them grow up to be well rounded individuals though my work with various bodies.

Edward Bear

I recently feel in love with the sound of Canadian folk-rockers Edward Bear.

I remember growing up listening to their songs but it's been many years since I had last heard them and recently I had the chance to re-visit them via Toronto's CHUM 1050 radio station which plays many 'oldies' especially by Canadian artists.

The band were formed originally in 1966 by Larry Evoy and Craig Hemming . Soon after a series of gigs they became the house band of Toronto's Yorkville scene and signed to Capitol Records in 1969. 

Evoy said of the signing "we were only discovered and got a music contract with Capitol, because (producer) Paul White accidentally saw us on a CBC television show... Right place, right time, I guess." Or, in music commentator Ritchie Yorke' s words "the band hit the magic circle of acceptance."

You might well ask what's the story behind the name but it is derived from A.A
Milne's Winnie The Pooh, whose "proper" name is Edward Bear.

Their top singles include "You, Me and Mexico", "Last Song", and "Close Your Eyes", all
of which were top five in Canada and charted well in the States.

The band's greatest chart success came in 1972 when "Last Song" charted at No. 1 in Canada and peaked at No. 3 in the States. In 1973 Edward Bear won a Juno Award in the outstanding group performance category.

Twelve years from formation, thousands of road trip miles, four albums and at least four hit singles later, Edward Bear packed it in and although Evoy rebuilt the band twice it was disbanded in 1974 following a disastrous tour of high school gigs and three club venues.

By the mid-70s, admits Paul Weldon - who played keyboards - "I was in my mid-30s. My wife and I were expecting our first child, and I had an architectural career to tend to."

Evoy went on to a semi-successful solo career but is currently retired. Former member Danny Marks has continued a very successful career as a blues guitar veteran. 

Paul Weldon, a six year veteran of the band, performs with a jazz combo and teaches at Seneca College in Toronto. 

Bill Loop, bassist in the early seventies, resides in south-western Ontario and plays locally with various session musicians, also teaching guitar.

Recommended compilation: The Edward Bear Collection Capitol-EMI of Canada 1991 CD available from Amazon UK.