Being the emotional real adult child

 

 

For me what people call age regression has a different kind of a meaning, it's not that may not involve age playing in the sense of not being, not acting as an adult but rather while some play with characters with very fixed characteristics that may include a specific age not unlike most other kinds of role playing to me it's not role playing.

That is because I have a  "emotionally real inner kid"  who has a part in this which involves a very deep and personal connection when in age play that any adult sense of self isn't there so what you have is a fragile side of me that is looking for healing through this and so not only has child-like vulnerabilities through being at a developmental level a child but additional ones because a person in such a situation such as mentor, 'Foster parent' or Caregiver to being hurt by careless individuals who aren't sensitive to my needs being with them.

To that extent as far as is possible then for all intents and purposes, the hearts of inner children such as me should be treated with as much sensitivity as you would treat a real, biological child even if the law says the outer wrapping is 'adult'. 

The relating pattern will always be that of grown up, parent or guardian  to the child me so when you are involved at such a level emotionally to me, it needs to be an emotional commitment that is for the long haul and not just dropped when the next object of attention comes along.

When you do, you may very well be breaking the heart of someone who looked to you to protect them, to take care of you, to guard you. When that person vanishes suddenly and it has, it is disruptive to the healing process as an inner child I'm undergoing, and it does more damage than simply leaving a role playing site or just some girlfriend with which you were previously associated. 

Hobbies and the gender police

Not quite on trend as the last two entries but in some ways connected with that and a casual and rather unexpected response on another non sissy site but perhaps worth exploring.

The problem for most of us growing up was the mis-mash between what we liked, what we might do under the radar and the fear of what might happen if this was to be revealed to our peers.

For some unexplained reason gender - the more social side of being ones sex - starts to become a major issue from five upwards although really geta hold from around seven when boy and girls start to compare each other to mysterious check lists of what appropriate social behaviour based on your sex is and this often extends into likes and interests.

So while we typically experience issues around wishing to wear dresses, frilly socks and the like compared to anyone else with a male body, other things over time become issues too.

Girls until recently were ridiculed for wanting to play football or do physical feats of strength while boys it could be simple things like showing empathy while most others showed little, preferring the games girls played, maybe collecting and playing dolls.

It did get rather daft when nature study or liking one pop group - often one seen as "for girls" - over another or liking books over war comics which aren't really limited to one gender or another but more just beliefs that change over time.

That's where the inspiration for this post came in where person said how upon a male friend as a boy had come in to play  in his bedroom and verbally abused him for liking a group popular with girls just because he spotted their record, he followed it up by smashing it, thinking this would preventing him being girlish but really it was gender based intolerance  that in the end had no influence on his future life as an adult. Just anger about the times.

The shape of television to come

 

Things always change.

To the person born in the early nineteen fifties, the big entertainment in the home was the radio which may of been a music program, news and current affairs, weekly drama shows or sports and people would gathered by it listening intently.

By the end of that decade, with the second Commercial channel, Associated Rediffusion, for those here in the Midlands on channel 8, tv had made a grand entrance, taking a prime spot in the living room, pushing the radio to one side.

Probably why can be answered in that sets became cheaper and Commercial television provided more the shows people wanted to watch, quizzes, entertainment shows and drama for children where the BBC still felt it was in order to give viewers what it thought was good for them.

For a long time while we gained things like colour television, the information system, Teletext, stereo sound and wide screen pictures things stayed the same even as satellite television and digital services came in giving us more channels, potentially better pictures and even catch up channels.

Today it seems we are at a crossroads in how both consume television and on what as more people choose individual programs through streaming services  and watching on tablets or the ever present smart phone and yet some are unable to get good mobile or fibre broadband services which makes the suggestion by some in broadcasting that one can just "switch off" television by antenna or a satellite dish one that would impact more remote parts of the UK and the least well off.

Access to news and current affairs, sports and at least some everyday tv shows is part and parcel of the shared culture of us all so to lose that would bring social costs and yet there is no clear vision by broadcasters on the way forward, how gaps in internet services can be reduced and what replaces satellite given many operators don't just wish to lose the costs of sending signals up to satellites but also the infrastructure costs of a network of tv transmitters for reception via your antenna.

Perhaps a report set by Parliament to examine this question making recommendations and a binding agreement by the stakeholders  is what is needed because owners of facilities such as satellite services need to know now so they can commission the next generation of satellites which typically takes some four years ready for 2029/30.

Rolling with the changes

It's Wednesday, four days after Friday as we are officially out of the summer so a familiar tv program returned to our screens on CBBC although being 2025 it was viewable via other platforms.

First off, for good or ill - and I'll reserve final judgement on that - B P Presenter no 44 Hacker T Dogg was present on the show having been appointed just before the summer hiatus and appears reading the BP Fan Club site to had been a hit with its viewers even if there is a difference between the kind of presentation I grew up for children's programming and what today's children seem to expect.

Ours was a bit more formal, a bit more mature, example setting rather than getting down to their level, always on the go.

The other is the move to Campfield Facilities in Versa Studios, Manchester rather than Media City, Salford after the BBC moved out of BBC TV Centre at Wood Lane, London in an attempt to be less London centred.

Rather than having a single very large production floor it has tailored areas that are used to film portions of the show, so the makes have an arts and crafts corner , there is a main area with couch and space for invitees and areas for big performances such as the record breaking attempts that are part of the shows agenda for challenging children to try new things.

Portions of the show are being made available as stand alone streams "shorts" on Youtube reflecting whatever adults feel about device usage and children, the increased tendency to view things as and when they wish rather than the dash at 5pm to sit in front of the tv although it is obvious from the fan club some do even if they may type as they view it!

Capturing the Tic Tok generation is a challenge and last year the viewing figures for Blue Peter were up some 33% and some modernization is needed to fine tune the show for todays viewers otherwise it'll go the way of Record Breakers, Screen Test or Tomorrow's World that we so loved back then.

A relevant point was made by former presenter Radzi in an interview which was while it may be easier it doesn't offer the same grounding in presentation skills that he and others had having to do it live even if parts were pre-recorded as for many years Blue Peter has been a route in for would be younger presenters to get into presenting on tv.

A good thing on a challenge for Joel, going around a lap at the Silverstone racing circuit in a minute was some technical talk about the engines, the kind of thing during the 70's and 80's we had but did seem to take a back seat which fits in with more what 9 to 14 years olds may want to learn about and what they do at school.

On the whole it seemed to work and we'll just have to see how the viewing figures go as I'd love there to be a second show or maybe extra online material in the way we looked to each week.

Now Yearbook 1976

After a gap since November last year we've now moved back again into the nineteen seventies in the Now Yearbook series, a kind of two part (and bonsu sets later) round up of all the hits of that year of two hundred years of the United States, the UK asking the IMF for a massive loan, the heatwave and matching drought and a time when ABBA ruled the roost.

That said due to licensing issues we have no ABBA or David Bowie on here but you've almost certainly got a compilation or two by them to fill the gaps.

The set rounds everything up on four discs with the option of the book with tracknotes and a quiz or a cheapskate piece of cardboard with slots so I opted for the book version.

An overview of artist and songs for each disc on on the reverse while inside fuller details lie within the pages.

Back then of course most of bought hit compilation records but most by original artists sounded thin and were often shorted while the "Top of the Pops" ones, while sounding better had cover versions of hits.

Actually there is a condensed version of this set on triple lp available.

Kicking disc 1 in style we have: A #2 in 1976, Queen’s ‘Somebody To Love’, followed by Electric Light Orchestra with ‘Livin’ Thing’, Fleetwood Mac with ‘Say You Love Me’, and 10cc with ‘I’m Mandy Fly Me’. Chicago hit #1 with their all-time classic ballad ‘If You Leave Me Now’, and Bonnie Tyler made her chart debut with ‘Lost In France’, whilst Leo Sayer reached #2 in the UK, and #1 in the US with ‘You Make Me Feel Like Dancing’. 

This is followed by a trio of dance-floor favourites – and all #1s in ’76: Tina Charles with ‘I Love To Love’, The Real Thing with ‘You To Me Are Everything’, and 14 years after making their UK chart debut Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons enjoyed their first chart-topper with ‘December 1963 (Oh What a Night)’. The floor-fillers continue from Candi Staton, Barry White and Melba Moore ahead of a disco-flavoured single from former glam-pop stars, Mud. 

Brilliant and unforgettable pop gems from Smokie, Bryan Ferry, Sailor, and a classy cover of ‘Here Comes The Sun’ from Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel lead into Paul Simon’s ’50 Ways To Leave Your Lover’, and the first disc’s closing tracks – both timeless ballads: Joan Armatrading with ‘Love And Affection’ who I remember seeing "In Concert" on BBC 2, and Diana Ross with ‘Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)’

Disc 2 opens with a stellar run of pure-pop classics. Elton John celebrated his first UK #1 single, in a duet with Kiki Dee on ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’, Cliff Richard  got more earthy with ‘Devil Woman’, and ‘Forever And Ever’ gave Demis Roussos a ’76 chart topper. 

Guys N Dolls had a second Top 5 hit with their cover of ‘You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me’ – and the UK won at Eurovision, with the winner ‘Save Your Kisses For Me’ by Brotherhood Of Man not only hitting the #1 spot but also becoming 1976’s biggest seller. Showaddywaddy celebrated their biggest hit and their first #1 with ‘Under The Moon Of Love’ that was played at school christmas discos, and Slik, featuring a pre-Ultravox Midge Ure reached the top with ‘Forever And Ever’ – a different song, with the same title as the aforementioned Demis Roussos #1 prodused by Bill and Phil who'd produced the Rollers in 1974.

Talking of which Love Me Like I Love You, a nin album single by the Bay City Rollers from April does feature!

1976 produced some classic rock smashes, and included here are singles from Status Quo, ‘The Boys Are Back In Town’ from Thin Lizzy, ‘Squeeze Box’ from The Who although some wondered what that was really all about, and the epic ‘Music’ from John Miles. 

More pop nuggets follow from Billy Ocean, Dana, David Dundas and Fox ahead of Disc 2’s comedic closers from the Kursaal Flyers and The Wurzels with the #1 ‘The Combine Harvester (Brand New Key)’a reworking of the Melanie hit from 1971.

Disc 3 celebrates ‘76’s dancefloor with a stunning collection of disco that was coming in in '76 and soul gold: First up, Donna Summer with her debut smash ‘Love To Love You Baby’ before ‘More More More’ from Andrea True Connection and a second appearance on this Yearbook from Diana Ross with the genre-defining ‘Love Hangover’. 

‘Turn The Beat Around’ from Vicki Sue Robinson is followed by a trio of bands who all released unforgettable disco singles in ’76: Tavares, The O’Jays and The Miracles minus Smokie Robinson.

 Soulful vocals from The Stylistics, and Lou Rawls lead into timeless tracks from The Isley Brothers with ‘Harvest For The World’, ‘I Want You’ from Marvin Gaye, and the sublime ‘Midnight Train To Georgia’ from Gladys Knight & The Pips which is followed by more soul ballads from James & Bobby Purify, The Manhattans and Yvonne Fair, the disc closes with a run of fabulous funk hits from Archie Bell & The Drells, Wild Cherry, James Brown and Lalo Schifrin’s version of the theme from ‘Jaws’.

The biggest seller in ’76 in the US opens the final disc: ‘Silly Love Songs’ gave Wings a UK #2 and comes ahead of another peerless single from Elton John with ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’. Dr. Hook had a huge hit with ‘A Little Bit More’, and Dolly Parton made her UK singles chart debut with ‘Jolene’ three years after it was a hit in the US. 

Country music was also represented by Billie Jo Spears who had her biggest hit with ‘What I’ve Got In Mind’ – but it was a Dutch band, Pussycat, who hit the top with their country-pop track ‘Mississippi’. C.W. McCall capitalised on the craze for CB radio with ‘Convoy’, which leads to hits from Neil Diamond, Randy Edelman, Sutherland Brothers & Quiver and Liverpool Express. The Stafford, England group, the Climax Blues Band scored a Top 10 hit in the UK and a US Top 3 with ‘Couldn’t Get It Right’ and features alongside more great vocalists including Linda Ronstadt and Yvonne Elliman. 

Soul-influenced pop from R&J Stone and the re-released ‘She’s Gone’ from Daryl Hall & John Oates lead to a closing run of stunning balladssuch as The Walker Brothers who returned to the Top 10 in 1976 with their excellent cover of ‘No Regrets’, ‘Heart On My Sleeve’ from Gallagher And Lyle, Eric Carmen a former Raspberries member  hit big with ‘All By Myself’ and Cliff Richard makes a second appearance on this collection with one of his defining ballads ‘Miss You Nights’ and concluded by the year’s Christmas #1 from Johnny Mathis with his seasonal favourite ‘When A Child Is Born’ which I might add I loved back then.

This set gives a great flavour of what twelve year old me heard and generally loved as much as the Rollers were my #1 obession.

The great legs debate

 

Well it has been a hot Bank Holiday here so we're reducing the layers and taking in cool drinks while sorting through a few old things as we start the process of leaving Summer and heading in Autumn with all that brings.

Socks can be contentious with one group of boy arguing over wither or not they "should" wear white socks which in as far school uniform goes was yes a minority thing for boys in school but did happen for things like Maypole dancing and some Scout groups had white socks and garters.

With us it's really around type of sock, ankle, mid calf or just over the knee, patterned or plain and then if we have straight elastic tops, lacy tops and bows.

Then there's the white tights thing which we see more of in upper juniors and senior school plus with more formal occasions with skirts and dresses.

You don't have to go all frilly, all of the time as a sissy gurl, we're just all gurl all of the time so we can mix and match looks to suit what we're doing and the kind of image we are portraying.

The rights of the child sissy, transexual and fem boys

Sometimes we can be a little superficial, even "fun" in a way here but in the at times tortured history of this blog there have been more serious topic and moments.

Few things concern me more than the situation a good number of children who don't fit the current girl/boy, masculine and feminine roles and modes most of their peers do fighting pressures from other children, parents and "the powers that be" whole draw up rules and socially acceptable codes of behaviour and dress.

Labels and associated images do concern both parents and "the powers that be" then and in discussing this those who say "but you cannot label a child "that".

Well a child may be exhibiting any number of traits from wanting or even playing by themselves more as the opposite sex or dressing more in the manner of the opposite sex and yes we all go under the Transgender catch all umbrella as after all at that age especially we're exploring who we are.

It may be in time you realize you're a transexual, you may be a "femboy" but before I was in double digits growing up I knew I was something else - a Sissy - and saying that is for some shocking but let's remember as a child you'd not be thinking, hey even  knowing of the adult sexual side of that.

Plus in any event some sissies are either mainly or even not sexually minded whatever you might see on social media and the adult services might suggest.

You didn't think you were a girl but you sure as heck wanted to dress the  same, play the same games as them rather than feeling you had to be something that felt you were play acting rather badly.

Thus I called myself a young child a "Sissy" I'm happy to be that same person today and let's get this straight nobody wishes to project sexuality on to that child even if as they get older they may like any teenager discover more of their own sexuality and that (it shouldn't need to be said) it's wrong for *any* adult to be thinking around never mind having a sexual relationship with a child regardless of gender and sex.

I did dress in a more girl like fashion whenever I had the opportunity, "borrowing" things, both outer wear and underwear whenever I could I would play more girlish games - playing torturing the enemy with the boys wasn't someting I really enjoyed at all.

I preferred hopscotch, role playing situations like school or shop and jump rope to any of that macho stuff.

Thus to me I feel any child should be able to explore and be themselves at home, from from being humiliated, emotionally abused or even being grounded for being a sissy.

The second area is even if you've been lucky to had attended a fairly liberal nursury or play ground that did let you were dresses nearly all school presume it is boys/girls, feminine or masculine dress and games and you may not fit that.

As that young sissy I wanted to wear a skirt or a school dress, may be a traditional pinafore dress in school with the matching socks and maybe a ribbon in my hair rather than being called horrible names by male teachers or finding when you complained about being excluded from playing with girls or playing games where you would rather join in a netball class than football or cricket you were told to shut up and stop whinging.

You should of been free to have your own friends determined by what you had in common rather than your biological sex.

That's something that is slowly starting to change a set back or two excepted.

Another area is children's organizations which we'd all admit need to be concerned with the wider topic of child protection even potentially from other children and while we'd accept they are entitled to have mainly girl or boy focuses.

Scouting in the U.K. is co-ed which ought to be fine for a child who sees themselves as being transexual, a fem boy, or like I did a sissy but the uniforms don't have skirt or dress options looking more like we've been let into boy scouts.

It shouldn't be about gatecrashing the world most children and parents are at one with but about toleration, adjustment where necessary and mutual respect are at the core of it so all children are able to be who they truly are no matter where they are.

No we don't expect flimsy party wear to be worn at a cubs session or especially on outdoor activities but where is there a skirted option?

The Girl Guides is straight forward - it is expressly for girls although those living like girls whatever the label may join - but that in the environment we live in where school may not be accommodating, sports may not accept any deviation from traditional sex based roles the bar may be too high to meet with evidence.

Perhaps an agreement about how you present, you name, your uniform option to provide continuity for the girls that do cos we must respect how they feel as much being about our own kind and an understanding we need to accept we are in girl space and let them run it mainly for them as much as they may be prepared to be kind and tolerant to us would be a way forward.