The Life of a Showgirl

Well this week I'm looking back to time of early social media that made making connections easier, finding out about websites with fairly specific focusing when it came to what they were about  

Today such sites seem endangered - will there be an endangered sites listing  like we have with buildings? - but music was a focus of one and music is an interest of mine going right back to childhood.

To looking through my singles and lps is to open pages in a diary recalling, people, places and events of the time which is something you don't get with downloads or streaming.

Recently we saw the release of the 12th Taylor Swift album from her 2006 debut that goes back to the earliest days of blogging really where country music is a given although she's embraced synth pop, hip hop beats, folk and more indie territory with here last release Tortured Poets Society.

It's a bit early to give definitive thoughts as it usually takes several plays before things really settle with me but overall I'd give it a solid 4/5, a little less deep lyrically than the last but having more infectious pop sensibilities and melody, nearer 1989 than subsequent albums.

The main inspiration seems to be a reflection on her life, specifically her career in music that shows in both titles and subject matter.

The opener, The Fate of Ophelia is a personal favourite. 

Decoration

Not the best of weeks being somewhat poorly with a bad cold but one where there was some interesting discussion and captions at SK and DDF looking at what this Sissy thing is and why it never really goes away.

While I'm convinced there's an optical character recognition error in there for many of us that rings true, whither we volunteer to put on a dress or someone who knows our true feelings puts it on us and explores our feelings often with "play" there comes a point when we must decide if we'd rather wear that "home" from now on however much support we may need because deep down we know that is us we see in the mirror.

At least one person was moved to respond to a thread about Temporary Tattoos as they apply (are applied!) to us because they can be extensions of external expression of that Gurl side of us without some of the potential issues of going to a tattooist for a permanent ink based one.

It might be you love a Hello Kitty tattoo on your upper arm or shoulder that might peek out through a t shirt or sleeveless dress or say a rose.

Those with a lightly older side may chose a more "Sissy Stamp" form perhaps in a less visible in everyday life place that just declares your sissiness especially if there someone in on sissy side.

Easy to apply, easy to remove with soap and water plus Baby Oil that just happens to be good for your skin too they're just perfect.

Falling in October

October is Fall as the American's call it as we step out of late summer with its sun kissed memories of having a kickabout during playtimes ready to embrace Winter and that comes with it.

You're never to old for a teddy bear!

If you are age dysphoric as I am you'd never want to do grown up gender presentations because everything around how that looks and how you see yourself as that child is so at odds it utterly freaks you out.

That is why as age dysphoria meets gender fluid feminine boy "Jane Boy" me I wear the sorts of things that are within that for children around my developmental age such as school skirts and pinafore dresses.

Christopher Whitehead looked pretty much as I'd of love to had at thirteen and both of us looked good in skirts, not trying to "be" girls just boys that like to wear skirts too.

As just about every British person knows the underwear we wear at school is different to what we might were elsewhere even to the point at one time the School Prospectus specified what you were to come to school in.

That doesn't mean "at home" a feminine boy like me cannot wear anything beyond either plain cotton knickers or Gym Knickers which despite plain jane looks are very comfortable.

Recently I bought these satin Ivy floral knickers in white silk with white lace along the waist and legs.

I also bought these and both have a plain white rear  and are extremely comfortable having a good wide crotch area to take my boy bits.

As I have I am sure mentioned before the best thing sissies like me is where you can wear smoothest feminine but not sissy style effeminate pretty knickers you can for the buzz under your skirts and dresses to give you a totally different feel than boys cotton Y Fronts.

Life's a compromise at times but you might well embrace your feminine loves when and where you can as part of the one whole you.

Being the emotional real adult child

 

 

For me what people call age regression has a different kind of a meaning, it's not that may not involve age playing in the sense of not being, not acting as an adult but rather while some play with characters with very fixed characteristics that may include a specific age not unlike most other kinds of role playing to me it's not role playing.

That is because I have a  "emotionally real inner kid"  who has a part in this which involves a very deep and personal connection when in age play that any adult sense of self isn't there so what you have is a fragile side of me that is looking for healing through this and so not only has child-like vulnerabilities through being at a developmental level a child but additional ones because a person in such a situation such as mentor, 'Foster parent' or Caregiver to being hurt by careless individuals who aren't sensitive to my needs being with them.

To that extent as far as is possible then for all intents and purposes, the hearts of inner children such as me should be treated with as much sensitivity as you would treat a real, biological child even if the law says the outer wrapping is 'adult'. 

The relating pattern will always be that of grown up, parent or guardian  to the child me so when you are involved at such a level emotionally to me, it needs to be an emotional commitment that is for the long haul and not just dropped when the next object of attention comes along.

When you do, you may very well be breaking the heart of someone who looked to you to protect them, to take care of you, to guard you. When that person vanishes suddenly and it has, it is disruptive to the healing process as an inner child I'm undergoing, and it does more damage than simply leaving a role playing site or just some girlfriend with which you were previously associated.