Headspace in the LSG World

This week I've been thinking a bit more about Headspace.

What is Headspace?

Headspace to me means the vantage point my mind looks upon everything around of it and relates to it in real time, being a felt, experienced and physical thing I interact with that ties in your sense of you in time and space.

People can have differing senses of head space not least of you're a Middle or Little because you may have, depending on your own development a more adult sense of what you do and how you'd see your role as well as a younger one where in effect you go back to those things and ways of looking at life that you may recall from your childhood.

The way people may move from one to another depends on the individual and their circumstances such as you may have a triggering thing such as a particularly activity that from the second you start to interact with it, you subconsciously move to that side of you.

For example I used to find being in schools often brought out the more Junior side of me so much so if I was left their for long enough on my own I'd 'drop' into being that child or playing with say toy cars just does.

It may be also that how you are attired does and with me putting on my school clothes like what I'm wearing right now typing this 'throws the switch'.

I think one thing a good number of us find useful is where we can meet up because it enables us to interactive not just with our own person sense of being a Middle or Little in such a headspace but also with others as if we were over at other folks houses playing which I think is something many of us did as children and it's that kind of feeling we're recreating.

When looking at recreating there is a question to be asked about the extent to which it is or can be complete replication simply because the nature being a child and the 'play' has itself changed over the decades.

The modern child has electronic play devices and quite often access to say a Tablet Computer which may be used to play games on or join sites like Club Penguin or use to write or draw things on. A computer may be part of your Little/Middle headspace.

How much of that we may do when we're together is something that we'll need to work through in the same way thoughtful parents do with their own children and for similar reasons because it is easy-too easy perhaps-to have a situation where we're all huddled together but staring into our own screens so while individually we're having fun the one thing we aren't doing is interacting with each other. That is a genuine concern.

The other area with that and the all pervasive Smartphone is handling Adult related things such as any requirements an individual may have to check emails and the like from 'work' which whatever your personal thoughts on the rights and wrongs of  (and I think it has for some gotten too intrusive in folks free time) such things are part of their working conditions they are expected to comply with when outside work such as at such meets.

I feel it needs to be done in way that doesn't disturb the Middle/Little space of other people attending which may involve say the use of your own private space or a designated area and certainly the associate electrical gubbins like chargers need to out of peoples way when sitting or walking about.

For some of us, though this isn't necessarily the biggest threat to that very headspace at all and while I won't speak for everybody one reason I do like being in that Middle/Little space is to be free from adult level intrusions not least those I have functional difficulties with.

When we were younger the Grown Ups, knew it mattered that while the Big World went on around us, it was wrong for that to dominate Our World so some conversations and topics were 'not for young ones ears' because playing talking through our thoughts and ideas mattered more for us.

That's why it does matter to some of us the sense of leaving things like political, religious and 'adult matters' out of where we are playing, talking or even sleeping and it may be sensible to check with any Little or Middle if they wish to be involved in or ideally leave that to as something in another room people may do.

Personally I have no inclination at all to engage in discussion around those areas simply because it's not part of Middle me that comes to meets apart from experiences in other groups that had allowed it lead to enmities between folk whose reason for being together had had nothing to do with these topics.

To me then to the extent one cannot and would not want to restrict what people can talk about not least that of any groan ups/Caregivers present, there's something to be said for holding back it until after little bed time  or perhaps of having that in just one area of a meet you'd make a deliberate point  of entering.

That way it's managed but those of us who are either playing or just resting have our needs respected so we can enjoy ourselves in our younger headspace freely.

To conclude being in it to me is the mark of being a middle or little. It is us.

Tammy and the steam train

While I've been away with friends this last week thoughts came back.

Trains while not the mainstay of my interests were a childhood fascination, not least steam ones going on many preserved steam railways, having a model steam train of my very own and loving the Ivor the Engine animated cartoon heaps.

I like to go on trips as often as I can to experience live steam traction.

The Electric Light Orchestra

The Electric Light Orchestra and I go back in time buying the 45's as they came out in the 1970's and early 80's a good number in their colourful picture sleeves, playing them at school and home and later on getting a good number of their albums on cd having borrowed  them from either brothers, friends or the public library.

The Elo, were a band that defied the single or album orientation bias  many back then had issuing worthwhile albums and many memorable singles such as Telephone Line, All Over The World, Mr. Blue Sky, Don't Let Me Down and Rock and Roll Is King.

That can make having a compilation quite desirable however there's been a good number starting from 1979's Greatest Hits that in some ways is remains the perfect summary of the 1973-77 singles and double or even triple cd sets.

The one I remember getting in December 1997 was Light Years, a mid price British double issued on cd, cassette and mini disc which was jam packed full of material including edited versions from singles and an EP, in no particular order and suffered from being too consistently loud and bright so I relented and got the original Greatest Hits album on a cheap cd. 

I did briefly get 1991's Greatest Hits Vol II but that sounded very thin although the selection was very good so I got rid of it.

That did leave missing a selection of the later hits as most miss off anything from the  Zanadu soundtrack that gave us three hit singles and to which the title song had been re-recorded in 1991 for the Flashback cd  box set that was criticized for chopping off the very start and ends of a number of tracks.

The one pictured above most would consider the best of the bunch having most of the essential tracks including the very early tracks and was very well mastered by Vic Anesini in 1995 who did excellent work on a number of Columbia projects like the Simon & Garfunkel remasters.

It was only issued in North America and recently I obtained a copy to fill those gaps and having the European Zanadu soundtrack on cd that came out in 1998, the missing tracks from it aren't so much of an issue with me. 

It sounds really good with the extra resolution from using good tapes and taking extra care about how you make each track sounds. 

My feminine gurl likes

 

I've always had something for pleats in my skirts, may be a lingering bit of my memories of trying on girls school uniforms but generally they hang better on me, having that bit extra pouf that I like so it's hardly surprising I like to be put in them.

Today, I'm having to rest, well kinda rest anyway which wasn't really planned for and has little of itself to do with what this blog usually talks about although the weekend started off pretty well. You see yesterday was day one of Study Weekend as I was getting to grips with paragraphing and punctuation which to be honest is something I struggled with at least because I had poor idea of what were never mind how you use them in written English. 

I did pretty well on the set exercises going over what I had learnt which was very much eye opening before it was time to go from where I study to the main lounge to take a break before having an evening meal. 

Talking about fashion,  most of the time when it comes to footwear it's a variation on Mary-Janes or maybe a  canvas plimsoll that I wear not least with poor co-ordination and balance any kind of heel is off.

I must say though these thick soled platform Hello Kitty shoes do have a irresistible cute appeal to me.

Stepping out as you

 

Going off with a mate to play and have fun together was always a part of this life even though modern day gaming was very much in its infancy with small 8 bit consoles that hooked up to your tv and computers were not Personal more corporate back then.

It is interesting how both boys in otherwise fairly masculine attire have cute good luck charms attached to their backpacks where over here at the time I was in my teens it was all about grey and being unobtrusive.

The thing about being a boy is there is lots of ways and you can blend them.

The thing we need to break is this cycle of "only real boys do" which places artificial limits and often gives comfort for homophobic, transphobic and feminine boy hating attitudes and aggression. Girls and Sissy Gurls are into gaming too.

Beethoven symphonies

Collecting classical recordings often seems daunting with many hundreds of recordings being issued over the decades and made available in differing forms. Beethoven was an early passion of mine from hearing many of his works on the radio or through borrowed discs.

When I first started collecting recordings as a teenager this disc and several others that were issued on Classics For Pleasure were what I bought in the lp era and recently they were issued by Warner Japan who bought the rights to EMI's classical output on hybrid Super Audio cds that also have a layer that play on regular cd players.

The set comes in a thick card box holding the discs in a high quality card set of digipak cases with clearly labelled spines and a gorgeous booklet with reproductions of the French lp covers and commentary in Japanese about the recordings and of course Beethoven himself  printed on top quality paper.

 
To me at least there is a difference between seeking out outstanding versions of individual symphonies and finding a set to live with, and while there are undoubtedly performances of single symphonies available which could compete with the best, it is as a coherent and aesthetically consistent survey that Cluytens accounts - available in this set - are best considered.

I feel there is a rightness to his judgement which proves enormously satisfying on repeated listening's and there is a special interest in hearing the fruits of a combination of several stellar talents: the virile, robust sound of the pre-Karajan Berlin Philharmonic, the production genius of Walter Legge working in a congenial recording acoustic, the Romantic but never indulgent interpretations of am under-rated conductor who died all too soon, and the especially fine vocal contributions from an unusual team of soloists and the wholly committed choir of St Hedwig's Cathedral - wrapped up in a set bought from a Japanese owned Ebay store.

In my teens I became acquainted with Beethoven's symphonies through these performances when they were available as budget LP's on the EMI Classics for Pleasure label collecting the complete set and was worried that many years later my judgement would be clouded by sentimental attachment, however having listened intently to a good many other versions, I find that this set stands up remarkably well. 

The Pastoral (my favourite of the lot) and the Ninth have long been praised but you will find equally enthusiastic endorsements of every symphony here in one review or you'll be hard pressed to find a discouraging word. 

They are not the last word in individuality, nor do they bear the stamp of a particular approach, but Cluytens seems to understand and appreciate the spirit and heart of this music. Absolutely no-one captures the cat-like tread of the opening of the Fourth the way Cluytens does; rhythms and accents are beautifully sprung and he pays close attention to dynamics. I was also especially pleased to discover that Nicolai Gedda, was much more impressive than I remembered him in the Choral, and the soaring refulgence of Gre Brouwenstijn's soprano is a special treat.

Herbert von Karajans recordings with the Berlin Philharmonic are often interesting but to me he's never conducted an even as set as this Cluytens set with the same orchestra.

The set had been issued in 2010 as a budget five cd box set of pretty decent sound but comparing that with the new set shows the remastered stereo sound is warmer and more spacious preserving a sense of being present at the session that show the excellence of the recordings made between 1957 and 1959.

Recorded and included on the original lp issues were a series of six overtures which are not on the sacd issue.

Fortunately at the same time the symphonies box set was issued, Warner Japan issued this separate Super Audio disc that gathers them all together with firmer more improved sound.

Around the same time but this time with the French National Radio Orchestra, EMI recorded André Cluyten's conducting Beethoven's Violin Concerto with the celebrated violinist David Oistrakh.

This also was issued in this format newly remastered and I recently picked up a copy.

Gurl world

The world of the sissy gurl can prove to be an interesting place...

Nigel would end up becoming Nigella as they ceased being a boy in any everyday observed sense, finding their rightful place as a gurl amongst and at the beck and call of girls their own age.

Soon you began to crave to have new outfits to match your ever increasing number of dollies you play with your girl friends with.

You find yourself learning how to walk the walk and talk the talk as a sweet young gurl with deportment classes to attend.

Things were never going to be the same but then you never wanted that in the first place cos you knew you were a gurl.