Colouring and calling time on patterns of behaviour

 

On a bright sunny not as warm as it was yesterday morning I went in to town, which is almost a history trip in  itself in our district and ventured into the local branch of McColls, the newsstore group in Cheshire passing the weekly outdoor market with the fashion and fruit stores with the store holders engaged in sales patter.

Well with some of my up and down emotions of late I felt the need to have something to do that would be enjoyable so I picked up this Frozen colouring book I could work through armed with my stack of coloured pencils. Given my feminine gurl side was ascendant I so need this.

Going to other things, last week at one site I was talking about about the origins of some of my cycles of behaviour, how they trip me up and what perhaps can be done to break them.

One thing I do need need to be up front about is some aspects of this behaviour is centred in modern contexts that when I was in my teens simply would not of been foreseen because modern life itself is different.

It seems I am going need to learn to leave my netbook well away from my sleeping space rather like my cellphone always is, simply because when it's at hand with it's glowing power lead, I lack the ability not to be able to look up from the bed without wanting to 'just go check' something or other when I really need to be sleeping ready for first thing next morning.

That sounds very much like a modern teen/parent battleground rather than someone who at least according to the law is an adult but does show something of the problems around lack of focus and personal responsibility I have and it might be I need to be given a consequence for that one lapse.

At one site I had an interesting exchange with two people about around the limits of behaviour, how it is that you can reach the point where somebody needs to be saying, “You're out of line and this IS stopping”, although you may not like the fact that they did it.

I was openly moved by their recognition that even if you may be legally an adult and perhaps in some kind of relationship too this doesn't end and that they'd still have a need to be kept in line.

The way this mature young person put it came over to me as a timely reminder to finally accept what she does, that you are not without limits on your behaviour-there comes a point when they WILL be applied-and it's for your own good.

Another young person indicated I need to try harder to improve on my behaviour as they themselves do.

They didn't have to reach out to me but obviously felt I needed this so it's time I took a step forward.

Easter edition

 

On the nom here as you'd kind of expect for an Easter Monday having finished one set of my chores off for today, breaking into an egg with aid of a knife. Before now I've just bashed my way into it with a spoon but I felt like, you know, being a bit neater.

That's the before picture of my Egg!

Not the sort of thing I'd normally post but if you're with cute play, are submissive and maybe have a caregiver in your life this just might be the thing to do.

Have them dress you up in an Easter dress and bonnet for Easter that is! And organize an Easter treasure hunt so you can prance around all frilly hunting for those eggs.

I sometimes think a more coerced approach to bringing my sissiness out would reap rewards when it comes to feeling good about me and being better behaved as that tension just creates issues all the time.

Happy Easter!

Bunny reminiscences

In all the reverberating past presently I'm going through something came to mind that I hadn't shared here.

 Actually for what passes as my formative years, and across two properties we lived in, we had rabbits, you know, pet rabbits, not the sort your butcher may stock. 

They were generally grey rabbits.

Our first property had a fair sized garden so outside of the burrow, they had quite long run and play escaping soldiers in. The amount of times Dad had to go find them doesn't bare thinking about!

Our second properties gardens weren't so good being a Mews development, so the went run in the rear which was a bit better and as far as I can recall they didn't seem to escape so often but I don't if its we'd gotten more wise making it harder for them to escape of if they were more docile.

Rabbits always remind  me of spring and of renewal which at this difficult  time seems an apt thought.

A reflective moment

Every day starts out pretty much as any other for most of us unless we're planning on going somewhere special we follow routines feeling confident that today will be like yesterday and no doubt tomorrow with a change here or there but otherwise of itself uneventful.

So it's hardly a surprise we become accustomed to the idea that everything will remain 'just so' which to be honest is one thing I sure loved when I was younger, the whole certainty with its sense of well-being from repeating that pattern week after week.

Every so often though, something comes along and knocks it over. You feel lost if not numb and bewildered too as it seemed to going along so well.

It is okay to feel that way, sad things happen, we hurt and a good number of us are hurting right now. 

I can't speak for all of you but things often seem to go in cycles and my last lot of cycles have seen me  do different things, learn and improve on skills that I've struggled with, form new and more helpful friendships and understand more about myself and others too.

All those things can and are helping me deal with this because they've given not only ears to listen and understand how I may feel but also the strength to carry on when I just feel like lying there crying (and I know that feeling so well).

You know, those we miss so much would never of wanted us to stay like that forever and you might imagine this friendly nudge coming out urging you on, reminding you can start again, even if we find it hard.

Personally, I feel it's helpful to think about those things that I have reason to be thankful for over the years from the situations that just appeared from nowhere and to which I had no real plan for. 

Just thinking about it, my life has changed quite a lot in the last ten years for the better and much of that isn't down to some super medical recovery on my part but more because I've been working on dealing with more how it's handed out to me, making the most of it smiling even through some of the Meh moments.

It is easy to get into a cycle of beating yourself up when things aren't going to plan, thinking we are useless (been there and done it) or feeling guilty over things that maybe we didn't have that much of a say over but I'm going to try to get on with life the best I can from now on.

That's a much of lesson from my childhood that I can use today and maybe it's of some use to you.

Birthday edition

 

Recently it was my birthday although I never feel older because for medical reason's I've never and can't really grow up as in being an adult although I can be mature and learn some new things so inevitable birthdays for me are little.

This year was no exception except for the arrival of a couple of soft bodied dolls.

Although they're not as 'classy'  as some dolls, the little loves ones are pretty good value  and my version of 'Lucy' which is 14 inches in height  was the one on the left with the big pink bow coning with a nice dress and leggings.

A nice touch is that the eyes shut when she's on her back sleeping. 

That's 'Jessica' a 18 inch Gotz soft bodied creation which being that size it's easy to get new dolly clothes for such summer outfits and school uniforms to dress her in. 

Her box was a bit damaged but she's fine so I was able to get her at a discount as after all I have dolls to handle and play with rather than that sad boxed collectors stuff that sits on shelves gathering dust.

I had some money, a few cds and finally got the outstanding Christmas present from me brother!

The Bay City Rollers and I Pt.III

The last instalment of this series from January 2011, looked at four original albums that meant a lot to me at the time and how they were received. 

Some artists have a relatively simple recorded history that sees all their commercially released recordings being on regular albums and perhaps a "Best Of".

Like many British groups the Bay City Rollers had a number of singles not issued on album, unique singles mixes and exclusive 'B' sides because over here issuing singles from from albums fans have already bought is looked down upon.

This new entry looks at a couple of compilations.

This was the second attempt in Japan in 1977 to create a compilation and remains a most essential choice on vinyl because it takes all the UK singles in their original forms from the 1971 Jonathan King produced Keep On Dancing in the original mono to the string less  version of Give A Little Love of July 1975 compiling them in release order with the often non album b sides.

As the title suggests the emphasis is on their earlier recordings.

It also has Mary Anne, the B side of Money Honey which was included on the UK Dedication album and Mama Li, the B side of Love Me Like I Love You and two Japan singles.

The twenty six tracks are spread across two lps for the best sound quality while being more convenient than changing the original 45's by hand every three minutes rather than the auto changers we had with a few stacked up at a time.

It does sound very good.

Following a series of changes in the bands membership and after the issue of the It's A Game album and single, Arista in the US felt the need to issue a compilation even if the first US album "Bay City Rollers" was just that pulled from the UK Rollin' and Once Upon A Star albums.

Most issues followed the US version from the stingy five tracks per side and album art but a number of European countries had their own versions which were different.

This is the original West German version which is particularly useful for having both 1976 non album singles Love Me Like I Love You and the cover of Dusty Springfield's I Only Wanna Be With You, Money Honey outside of its appearance on the UK Dedication album coupled with the lovely decision to start each side with their most current singles from the It's A Game album.

This album featured the North American and continental Europe Yesterday's Hero and Rock & Roll Love Letter singles, the latter being a Power Pop gem.

Keep On Dancing on this album is the remake in stereo for the Once Upon A Star album.

Of the single lp best of editions this is the one that showcases the Rollers talents the best and compliments that Japan Early Collection double well. 

Things from the past

That's cool. I mean it's sunny of not exactly warm today as I was out walking around locally, taking in the smell of the farms, seeing the lambs in the fields grazing and even watching with amazing a flock of over forty birds take of in a 'W' formation from a field near the woods circling just above me. They were all occupying the field ready for it.
Isn't nature just so awesome?

I just so loved watching it patiently as a child usually as we walked to school along the sidewalks and farmers fields unless we were fortunate to get a lift with one of them taking their daughters to school in his car with mud covered tires.

 That's the tie I had on when I was with some friends, a silk deadringer for the one I had at Junior school where we kinda had to wear it.

 

The photo didn't quite do full justice to the badge - and two schools I attended we did have prefects and house systems -  so here's one of it in its shield design.

Some schools use either rectangular or rounded badges to denote such earned status.

Did I ever say I did on a few occasions I got mentioned in 'Special Mentions'  on Friday weekly assemblies and given a badge to wear on top of my uniform connected with it?