Now That's What I Call Music CD

Week two of Advent, a day after the General Election so it's too early begin anything about the outcome of although I did go out and vote myself.

 One thing getting on for some thirty-five years ago reminds me a little of this time of year is the original release of the compilation lp/tape Now That's What I Call Music 4 which came out in Late November of 1984 which I did buy at the time on record.

As some people may be aware it appears the original albums of this 104 plus special editions series are slowly coming out on cd because while cds were a thing in 1984 there were not many issued plus they tended to be a lot more expensive than records and tapes.

There was a kind of Now 4 issued on cd in a very limited release but only ten tracks from the 30 on album plus a few from Now 3 and 2 so I was pleased to pick this new cd version up recently.
I say version of because there are a few different versions compared to original which is an issue in trying to replicate a series that had a few one of a kind mixes on apart from licensing issues today that didn't apply back then.

The good news is that the Special Remix of No More Lonely Nights by Paul McCartney was used even though  a shorter version of Nick Heyward's Warning Sign minus two raps somehow got selected. It's always good to hear Too late For Goodbyes by Julian Lennon, son of the former Beatle.

The original album had some earlier Motown hits as by this point they'd agreed to let songs that were hit singles go on such compilations so we get Lionel Richie's unforgettable Hello. 

On the whole though I think it does a good job of replicating  this set that many of us had at the time

This member of the series didn't do too well as two tracks by Gary Glitter and Bob Marley on the original lp and tape from early June 1984 were removed on this cd and there were a number of significant version mix ups

February 1984's  NOW 2 which took in the Christmas 1983 and winter of 1984 hits had a few errors that would irritate those 'in the know' but was generally okay apart from a totally different version of Joe Fagen's That's Living Alright

The one that showed the series concept was a winner from early December 1983,in  time for the iconic tv advertising on ITV and Channel 4was a virtual Greatest Hits of 1983 with hits by Kajagoogoo, Limahl, Duran Duran, Culture Club and Genesis amongst many others.
The sleeve does list the missing number ones of 1983 too.

There had been a short lived card sleeve double cd of this issued in 2003, the thirtieth anniversary but that had been out of print for a while. 

While the series on cd has its issues and would of better issued earlier in the day to catch sales of those who may of wanted to replaced their lps or tapes, it does help fill the gaps for those of us who bought the later cd issues from Now '86 onward. 

New frilly panties for this sissy gurl

We've spoken a couple of times about underwear as it applies to feminine boys or sissy gurls  such as myself because it is very important being literally the most intimate garment we do wear and Manties who were the bye word for quality panties for men around 2000's to 2017 appear to have ceased trading.

Speaking personally I am not given to what are generally classed as "sissy panties"  with loads and loads ribbons, rhumba pants and those aimed more at the fetish side as for me they are effeminate rather than feminine.  

Sissy gurls like me belong in full lingerie sets, colour co-ordinated with camisoles and waist slips.

From my stand point our underwear is very much a defining  part of the what and the why we are feminine boys and so it needs to not only feel soft on us but send out the right message and so must have frilly lace trim not just on the waist band but on the legs with elastication too fitting snugly around our boy bits.

I'm trying these satin and lace aqua blue kickers on underneath my skirts and dresses by Satini, from PolkaDOT fashion wear made in Leicestershire, here in the Midlands.

Little Headspace and the sissy gurl

This week while nursing a bad foot I've been thinking a bit more about Headspace.

What is Headspace?

Headspace to me means the vantage point my mind looks upon everything around of it and relates to it in real time, being a felt, experienced and physical thing I interact with that ties in your sense of you in time and space.

People can have differing senses of head space not least of you're a Middle or Little because you may have, depending on your own development a more adult sense of what you do and how you'd see your role as well as a younger one where in effect you go back to those things and ways of looking at life that you may recall from your childhood.

The way people may move from one to another depends on the individual and their circumstances such as you may have a triggering thing such as a particularly activity that from the second you start to interact with it, you subconsciously move to that side of you.

For example I used to find being in schools often brought out the more Junior side of me so much so if I was left their for long enough on my own I'd 'drop' into being that child or playing with say dolls just does.

It may be also that how you are attired does and with me putting on my school clothes like what I'm wearing right now typing this 'throws the switch'.

I think one thing a good number of us find useful is where we can meet up because it enables us to interactive not just with our own person sense of being a Middle or Little in such a headspace but also with others as if we were over at other folks houses playing which I think is something many of us did as children and it's that kind of feeling we're recreating.

When looking at recreating there is a question to be asked about the extent to which it is or can be complete replication simply because the nature being a child and the 'play' has itself changed over the decades.

The modern child has electronic play devices and quite often access to say a Tablet Computer which may be used to play games on or join sites like Club Penguin or use to write or draw things on. A computer may be part of your Little/Middle headspace.

How much of that we may do when we're together is something that we'll need to work through in the same way thoughtful parents do with their own children and for similar reasons because it is easy-too easy perhaps-to have a situation where we're all huddled together but staring into our own screens so while individually we're having fun the one thing we aren't doing is interacting with each other. That is a genuine concern.

The other area with that and the all pervasive Smartphone is handling Adult related things such as any requirements an individual may have to check emails and the like from 'work' which whatever your personal thoughts on the rights and wrongs of  (and I think it has for some gotten too intrusive in folks free time) such things are part of their working conditions they are expected to comply with when outside work such as at such meets.

I feel it needs to be done in way that doesn't disturb the Middle/Little space of other people attending which may involve say the use of your own private space or a designated area and certainly the associated electrical accessories like chargers need to out of peoples way when sitting or walking about.

For some of us, though this isn't necessarily the biggest threat to that very headspace at all and while I won't speak for everybody one reason I do like being in that Middle/Little space is to be free from adult level intrusions not least those I have functional difficulties with.

When we were younger the Grown Ups, knew it mattered that while the Big World went on around us, it was wrong for that to dominate Our World so some conversations and topics were 'not for young ones ears' because playing talking through our thoughts and ideas mattered more for us.

That's why it does matter to some of us the sense of leaving things like political, religious and 'adult matters' out of where we are playing, talking or even sleeping and it may be sensible to check with any Little or Middle if they wish to be involved in or ideally leave that to as something in another room people may do.

Personally I have no inclination at all to engage in discussion around those areas simply because it's not part of Middle me that comes to meets apart from experiences in other groups that had allowed it lead to enmities between folk whose reason for being together had had nothing to do with these topics.

To me then to the extent one cannot and would not want to restrict what people can talk about not least that of any groan ups/Caregivers present, there's something to be said for holding back it until after little bed time  or perhaps of having that in just one area of a meet you'd make a deliberate point  of entering.

That way it's managed but those of us who are either playing or just resting have our needs respected so we can enjoy ourselves in our younger headspace freely.

For me  part of that freedom comes from the knowledge that groan ups will step in and discipline me if I am getting out of or at risk of injuring myself so I just act on the me within and not be so concerned about what if it goes all pear shaped that I just sit there terrified to do anything cos I don't feel able to put it right.

To conclude being in it to me is the mark of being a middle or little. It is us.

Winnie the pooh

I have always loved the Winnie The Pooh stories from childhood.

There are many inspiring lines to be found within the stories that have a real benefit to boys and girls.

Christopher Robin is a childhood hero of mine.

You were always warned about the fair weathered friends who wanted to be in with you and those who perhaps less pushy were more minded to stick with through the thick and the thin, sticking up for you even if it may not be popular.

Real friendship is based on mutual respect for one another, knowing when things are best done together but respecting when we need to be alone with our thoughts but prepared to come in and comfort us as needed.

Being yourself as that child and adult little

 

Life when you are Tammy had it's up and downs growing up the most obvious being I'd sooner have an option for uniform that I felt comfortable in either that traditionally associated with boys or girls even if having made that choice, I had to abide by for consistencies sake for the whole term.

I would of freely chosen to wear a skirt and matching white, grey or black long socks and conformed to the same skirt length rules as the girls.

I always loved dolls and even had a few  but most relatives never bought me one, thought it was odd and worst of all I couldn't share freely my interest in dolls with the kids in school.

This sort of collectors doll was what I prized so much with her scaled down domestic furniture all set out beautifully.

It's interesting by making a word a plural and converting dolls to dollies the whole images changes from more historical fashion based interest and collecting to playing with dollies designed to star in adventures in your own imagination.

Playing with dollies was "forbidden fruit" but sissy gurl me loved it, dressing them up from head to toe.

I had toy cars but ones that linked to things like Barbie such as this convertable were more where I was at because they would fit in with that evolving girlie adventure story in my mind I so wanted to share with others such as girls.

Sport after leaving junior school was impacted by gender lines but even before then uniform was more of an issue with me and as I wanted to play Netball and Hockey which were girl only too at the time I would of wanted to wear a netball skort like the boy on the left who looks great in it.

Again outside of the options for sports, I so desperately wanted an option for my P.E and Games kit, renewable on a termly basis that reflected my gender identity.

This battle is so worth fighting for todays gender variant kids and in the context of adult littles also within some of those communities that have the same closed mindsets when people like me wish to play with them.

The ghoulish years

 Last weekend I was away at Halloween party for age regressors.

It's interesting to reflect on how it has been in the last three and a bit decades the way we mark this time of the year has changed because over here in the UK Halloween as such wasn't marked but people did hold All Hallows Day parties with guising and toffee apples.

The more recent custom of Trick and Treat isn't native to the UK but an import from the States a good number hold the children's tv program  Blue Peter responsible for doing a feature on in the early eighties that then spread like topsy.

Into that the participates created outfits to which people rewarded with candy and it wasn't long before as in the States commercial outfits became widely available even if face paint and the like obviously was hand applied.

In this country it cuts into the Guy Fawkes season where we mark the foiled attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament with effigies, bonfires and fireworks in 1605.

For that ear muffs may help as some fireworks are really loud!

One thing that has changed in recent years is I am more focused on my behaviour at least as far as it may impact on others from knowing when not to get into conversations that are not really to do with me, taking turns well and being safe such as with using sharp knives for pumpkin carving because the increased use of physical and non physical chastisement  that can be used discretely such as a smack out of sight help me to keep those traits in check more which makes being out with people more enjoyable. 

For me then, this weekend was  a great one.

Thoughts on leaving Junior school

This is being written while I recover from a damaged ankle which is very painful but this time of year often sees me thinking back in time to past events not least my past boyhood.

I recently saw this picture one presumes taken late summer last year of a "Year Six) or to me J4 leavers service of the sort we had as part of the process of transition that had included visiting for a day a secondary school the majority of the year group would transfer to, writing up about the subjects we'd taken in Junior school and a service.

Actually, to tell you the truth when I saw this picture I did feel a bit sad actually because for me, Jacqueline and a few others it was the point we realized  we would be at the margins of the group because we wouldn't transfer with them and as you countless know, daytime school groups transfer over to things like sports groups, the "Youth Club" and so on resulting us being marginalized.

For me it was near total because I was going to boarding school so daily after school contact in a pre-internet age was non existent so the few I did manage to keep in contact with through things like the Methodist Chapel do matter and some those contacts have been maintained through 'adult' positions in the community like being a Council Chairman or involved in other groups that paradoxically put me in positions of some real stature in this community that the others didn't get around to.

On Monday, I was about when I called over a friend l know who was living at his fathers old house here and to which I'd know backward from the days we'd call on each other to play and we got talking about how each other was and that.

He was one of six I had regular contact with over the years and that was when I realized that as unfortunate as that break was as a J4 leaver, actually I hadn't really lost anything of value because those friendships still remain right now. It is a part of how we relate to each other.