From inside out, our first move

You can and certainly in the past I know I have argued about where the first expressions of our neither male or female gendered state first raised their heads and the more analytically minded of us tend to look for a more in depth intellectual explanation but I think many years on I and we were barking up the wrong tree.

We just had a fascination with girls lingerie that wasn't about that girl but how they looked and critically unlike most boys did envision us in panties (and bras) forming a mental image in our heads.

At some point we moved from that to seeing for ourselves just how we felt in panties trying the nearest to hand pairs we could find in all sorts of materials  finding we loved them, just amplifying that feeling they were "right" for us.

I remember in the late 2000's commenting around the fit because anatomically because we have male form bodies in most respects you need to be careful around the fit, especially in the gusset area and that one company that had made panties for us had cracked it only to find because they were designed for men, effectively some sissies boycotted them cos they weren't female marketed (and yet today some lingerie is "sissy" marketed).

If you've had the pleasure of wearing satin panties with frills, you know just how comfortable and affirming  they are to sissies like us, they become almost an addiction as we fill our knicker draws.

I've been in them over the last three weeks and I've felt just great as the sissy gurl I am no matter where I've been and what I've worn with them.

Birthday edition

 

Things are obviously a little different this year with everything around Mum's death and upcoming funeral very much overshadowing all else most visibly in lack of space in window for cards with cards for her.

I am disabled, have used a wheelchair before now so this is an apt card that reminds me of another part of my identity.

To an extent then really little has been planned with time taken up with everything around that but I did this, the recent Gorillaz album on compact disc, one of those card cover ones so I may need to put the disc in a inner sleeve to prevent it getting marked.

I also had this, the latest installment in the Now Yearbook series in its deluxe bookform edition.

I did get some new soft underwear, don't do really fancy colourful designs this year and some money from my brothers, other relatives and dad that I can buy some books or music with at some future point.

Going forward

As were are leaving the messy and muddled month that followed the almost too busy to breathe month before and have entered March, I think it's time to put as much of the reality of those times behind us and move forward.

Mum knew about my "femme" side, not every single motivation for it but that I had one as she had after all seen me "en femme" and like many others original experimentation had started with some of her attire.

She had washed it it and put on the line to dry too so in time we'd come to an understanding around this being a part of me that could never go back in the genies bottle.

I've been reverting more of it once visitors and the like have gone away with their many cards and wishing to share reminiscences cos it just feels right.

Classic school girl is something  I just enjoy as a feminine boy or "sissy gurl" as for me it fits in with my more little adult by law, child by nature self having no sexual sides with me.

The truth is we cry cos it's the first time we are able to be who we truly are with people who care about us that much they won't us to get past that mental block and just be us.

The reality is I love wearing soft frilly panties and cute patterned socks which even during the day I've had on under overclothes visitors might expect as I respect myself as a sissy gurl to be as femme as I can even in difficult situations because it makes me feel fantastic to be feminine.

My dad has taken over some responsibilities and as he does the wishing he's well aware of this which is okay with.

This is how things will be.

R.I.P. Mum

 

This post is short but to the point.

In a week that saw my Mom become very unwell with at least one possible emergency admittance hospital after a period of increasing ill health it is with much regret I have to announce her death at 5:15pm from Pneumonia and related issues.

A women who saw herself as the centre of the family, aunt to the street,  a constant help to us as children encouraging us in our endeavours, a devoted wife to dad I'm saddened by this turn of events.

R.I.P. Mom.

The extra yard?

 We all love frills and looking pretty but to what extent would you be prepared to go to get that outfit you really have set your heart on?

Would you be prepared to become in a effect a human dolly, being dressed as people fussed over your attire, making adjustments as you just stand there letting them before they try something else?

Would you be prepared to do a twirl for them too?

Somehow I just feel my submissive side would just go with it all....

Updates continued

This week as we enter another month, the period that normally I'd of been away but between the outcome of last years events and the changed circumstances from the start of last month just isn't going to happen I did think about what I tend to wear.

Given how I am with different presentations things have to key into each as part of that wider whole than it is for many and one think I was looking for was a quality red sweatshirt that could function as an extra layer like a jumper over a pinafore dress or be worn with skirts or short trousers.

It just does the job.

This was one, basic but decently made I spotted and decided to buy being quite stretchy unlike some I have had in the past.

Comics past and present

 This week's post is a kind of a follow on from last weeks entry.

Friday's mean comic day with me as I catch up with the Phoenix and Beano, the two weekly comics I get.

Phoenix seldom has any school based stories although a number have involved school age children but the Beano for a very long time has stories that at least reference school if not being set in a school of which The Bash Street Kids is the most famous one.

School today is very different at some levels than it was when this edition from June 16, 1962 was around with much less cricket being played, that chilling reminder of a Tawse at the top of strip being long gone although it reminds us that D C Thomson was very much a Scottish publisher and elements of scottish life do creep in to what were UK wide titles and this was the first strip drawn by the late David Sutherland who was scottish.

Given these changes and indeed even I could tell in the mid 1970's it was different to what things were even then never mind today, although the strip still runs, everything around has change because the children's world who read that comic has itself changed.

Today it is full colour, back when I read it originally only the front and rear was in colour, the reminder just used red and black in the main so for us annuals and the summer specials where when we saw our comic heroes in full colour and unlike then when we had newsprint, today the paper is better quality.

I do wonder sometimes if given the number that must go to recycling after a week or two if perhaps using modern newsprint might not be cheaper and better for the environment as todays newspaper too use colour pictures unlike the primitive black and white dots of the 70's and 80's.

The Phoenix does softback reprints of cartoon strip series which are more for collectors and fans of the likes of Looshkin and the Beano does a kind of illustrated "boomic" series of Dennis and Gnasher ones around a extended storyline.

Boomic is a brand that means Book but comic mash up really.

The D C Thomson fan books that have reprints of older classic strips around  a topic are popular - I have them every christmas - for bring back memories  of strips we no longer see such as Lord  Snooty and Pals, Little Plum and the like.

Comics are still a thing children do look forward to even in age of tie in weekly or monthly magazines to things in popular culture such as tv shows and films.