Working on presentation

Not much left of the old year now with halloween and that gone and temperatures dropping a little which you notice if you are out a fair bit as I am, working on my fitness which has never been exactly great

Somethings don't change though

Feminine sissy gurls really need to embrace soft satin knickers with lace which need not be particularly wide to really take us out of cotton "y front" briefs and everything associated with them especially when we are in skirts and dresses.

Ideally they should be binned.

These are some I wear that also come with a small pretty bow on the waist band.

Age Dysphoria works its way into things with me such as presenting more as junior child than any adult so things that fit into it are clip on ties if dressing more as them at a social function or as a school child is a part of it.

That cuts across both traditional masculine gender presentation with shirts and grey school short trousers as much as pinafore dresses or skirts with blouses.

Working on presentation

 

Not much left of the old year now with halloween and that gone and temperatures dropping a little which you notice if you are out a fair bit as I am, working on my fitness which has never been exactly great

Somethings don't change though

Feminine sissy gurls really need to embrace soft satin knickers with lace which need not be particularly wide to really take us out of cotton "y front" briefs and everything associated with them especially when we are in skirts and dresses.

Ideally they should be binned.

These are some I wear that also come with a small pretty bow on the waist band.

Age Dysphoria works its way into things with me such as presenting more as junior child than any adult so things that fit into it are clip on ties if dressing more as them at a social function or as a school child is a part of it.

That cuts across both traditional masculine gender presentation with shirts and grey school short trousers as much as pinafore dresses or skirts with blouses.

The Pinafore dress

The first thing to say in this entry is when looking more at what a sissy gurl such as myself would of sooner worn at school the traditional pinafore dress would of been it.

At one time it would of applied to girls regardless of age but in state schools from the nineteen seventies onwards it was replaced  for seniors by the longer skirt and these days by female cut trousers too so it is seen more as a junior or combined primary school item.

It tended to hang around in private and many a prep school for a lot longer.

Most you see today are not the traditional squared boxed sort but usually scooped at the neck and often with zips rather than the traditional buttons on the shoulder.

Part of the reason it was popular is it is practical giving you good arm movement lacking the restrictions of fully armed garments and good circulation for hot sunny days while being easy to put on.

In view of the shortage of the traditional sort I had Albert Prendergast send me their black traditional one with the length reduced considerably from what seniors would of been expected to that nearer to the old junior version  fitting just above the knee  to show skin between it and my white long socks.

I did get the matching black belt and it has a side pocket.

It's a very good replacement for one I tried which I liked but was a bit small on me and it seems few are in my size from the regular schoolwear suppliers.

It also makes us look more junior  which is a plus in age regressive/dysphoric terms bringing into line mental image and the physical while having pockets which are rare on skirts.

As a jane girl you always wear gym knickers under your dress keeping you boy bits out of harms way and comfortable.
 

Recovering Sissy Gurl

 

We're heading very much toward the spring now so there are a number of upcoming animes and cd releases schedules that I intend to buy and write reviews of here on  my blog apart from other interests.

It was my birthday a few days ago so I had a birthday spanking!

I do wear school type uniform a lot because when you're very much child-adult me with a permanently on child's mindset it just feels  more me, it also is hard wearing and less fussy being easy for me to put on and look after properly.

This is a picture of a porcelain doll I've had since my teens called Debbie.

She was bought for me from a doll fair near Macclesfield and she's been with me no matter where I've been living ever since. I like the blouse and dress she's wearing.

A sissy gurl like me wears skirts, pretty panties, cute socks and has dolls.

It's that that makes me a jane girl/sissy and by extension this blog what it is about.

Petticoating

 This life can be complicated for both carrying around the mentally held sense of being a feminine boy and the expression of that physically through our gender variant presentation which can be either or both at any one point.

The problem for most of us was and for some still remains having the space to explore that with support as part for learning about ourselves balancing having feminine traits with being and loving our biological male selves.  

I feel there is merit in creating feminine time for boys where they can experiment with being put into petticoats and silk underwear wearing very feminine dresses away from the world of scratchy male attire and rough play to let it all out having a fuller experience ready to make up their minds about their own styles of presenting from a similar experience base as girls. 

To me this is a positive thing.

Making that choice

 

In my schoolboy days, it was a time when many parents began to argue against gender designated uniforms, mostly on the basis that pants were more appropriate for students who enjoyed rough and tumble play (i.e tomboys).

Being petite, gentle and shy, it would be disconcerting knowing that if all students were judged by that criteria, then it would be decisively deemed without question, that I would be in skirts.

Then you were in school, you agreed that the boys and tomboys who enjoyed rough and tumble play, should have been allowed to wear pants.

When in school I agreed that gentle, shy, physically delicate gurls like myself, should have the option to be in skirts along with the rest of the girls!

 

It may be March but doesn't mean it's Spring yet.

Indeed as I recall when I was younger, it still could be quite chilly and even with snow  until April as I walked from school, not least our first house a good mile away down country lanes dressed with a woollen hat which would of been hand knitted by my Nan a thickish coat typically a Duffle coat with a thick lining while wearing shorts of this sort length and three quarter socks.

One of these days I'll wake up to this all over again but this time in a skirt!

Tights for the feminine LSG in their uniform

 I first got into tights in my teens as increasingly my Mom and Aunts bought me them to wear outside of school wear we just had to wear socks cos it was school rules and all that partly cos with growing up they felt I should look more like a young woman when I was out or at social occasions .

The other part was that they felt as I get cold  very quickly, putting me in tights was a very practical thing because enveloping your whole lower body, they keep you warm and snug.

I normally wear either tan or black at work as they pretty well go with anything aren't dear to replace if they snag and don't get a lot of unwanted attention.

Introduction

First of all I’d like to say I’m Tammy and for reason that will become apparent, I’m not terrible good at writing introductions but it would be better for all of us if I tried so please bear with me.

The first thing to say is I have a mixture of physical, learning and developmental disabilities of which the latter two is the more important when it comes to being on this site and why it is that being ‘younger’  isn’t just either a presentational choice nor in so far as being like that I have a switch I can throw where I’m totally back to adult.

The short and painful fact of the matter is a mixture of at birth learning and developmental disabilities  plus brain damage from a childhood accident mean mentally I struggle beyond around about 10 to 12 years of age when it comes to dealing with situations, understanding written and spoken instructions, communicating ideas with both extremely poor short term memory (cover the screen and I can’t tell you what I typed), difficulty in concentration and so on.

You could call that “Age Regression” but I’m only out of being more a child by degrees and have attention and supervision needs in real life. It certainly isn’t Age Play.

If that wasn’t enough, I have cerebral palsy, dyspraxia and following an industrial injury, have major issues with holding things like pens, cooking (at times needing help with eating) and can’t type for long or play  using games.

As people who see me a lot in real life would say “I have to treat you more as child” so mentally I’m more a child in a adult body so please don’t assume fully adult comprehension.

The history of gender and its connection to biological sex is a painful one for me not just in terms of encounters which I’m sure we’d all have some understanding of  but also with gender politics, label identity wars and being pushed along ‘to help’ but finding it anything but.

Like many of us I knew, even with my limitations how I saw me was different to how others saw me and this was connected to being called a boy at birth because of how my body looked but I’d see me playing with girls most often in a dress sometimes rather than boys all of the time preferring to spend time with them but not having the intense dislike of my boy body that later on I found some usually male to female transsexuals tended to have.

Like most I experimented with dressing the minute I could get the combination of things to put on and undisturbed time to, eyeing oneself in the mirror tending to be older teen, very early 20’s stuff and increasingly more a little/middle schoolgirls uniform form of presenting although just to complicate things I did do some regressive 10-13 schoolboy dressing where I found old clothes not least because I felt much more comfortable looking more younger and as I said mentally that was were more I was anyway never feeling like a teen never mind an adult.

Presently then I present more gingham/ school girl but sometimes more frilled and so wear tailored boys shorts all with girls tops, underwear etc as well. I don’t have a ’Male wardrobe’.

Until I was more in my twenties I’d seen myself as a biological boy, given to dressing non adult  alternating between masculine and femininely but for a period came under the influence of friends who while starting out as more schoolgirl regression saw themselves as transsexual, pressuring me into seeing myself as girl requiring chemical and surgical aids to fully transitioning as a Adult Woman even if were to still feel the need to dress more as a girl.

The discourse around of that in particular brought more into focus that I felt no need to bring my boy body around to match gender because I realized I was more like a girl and clearly feminine by mannerism, habits etc but not ‘a girl’ being very happy  with my boy body, even to the point I can slide to a more boyish side and back out again comfortably.

By that point I had decided I wanted back my Boy biological sex back in my whole identity even if  I may go by feminine inclination and dress more in  little/middle girls schoolwear which is why one here I’m coming out as Feminine Boy albeit one who can do ‘Tom Girl’ from ‘Jane Girl’ as the mood takes me with no emotional discomfort. 

I see myself as Gender Fluid mainly Feminine Boy by sex who is a little sissy gurl.

You might ask if I have ever belonged at other sites  and the answer is yes but as some of the reasons why I’m here tie into gender issues  that’s why I’ll talk a bit about that.

I landed online in 2005. It was a different world and so I looked around gender topics joining and still remaining under a Username a transgender forum which was pretty accepting of me but understandably the focus was on adult roles and presentations so I started looking more into younger presentations and what eons later I learned was more age regression and the world of littles and caregivers.

One site I joined for a period billed itself more as a all purpose ab, littles place but it soon put me off as it had a high level of sexual content which simply wasn’t me not least not wanting to be contacted for the same when I hadn’t asked for it.  It put me off anything like that for a while.

I call myself at times a "little sissy gurl" because I do share a fair bit in common with them, do see myself as neither girl or boy as gender but generally it's my little side who is out and so I don't do any of the more adult stuff some associate sissies with.

Around the same time I learned of  less sexual adult little girl site which was and is a very nice place but the people who run it have it hidden from view being super concerned around privacy so over the last few years not just have numbers dropped off but so has participation because next to nobody saw and joined it. 

As well there was an attitude that saw anything other than ‘I like to wear pretty dresses and be like a girl and see yourself as a girl' as something they were not entirely happy with whereas I’m feminine but don’t wish to be female (nor pretend to).

I do belong to a site about non sexual spanking (discipline and therapeutic) which I have written something about here as I find it is both a real need and something that has helped me a lot to be more responsible within my limits apart from being a part of by boyhood past.

I’m here because I’d sooner be in place that can handle being a regressed Feminine Gurl, that cherishes it leading me to explore and enjoy being me with no other narratives, that accepts my gender fluidity.

That is what "That Feminine Gurl" as blog will be all about.