Return trip to Liverpool

On Saturday I went to this famous city and seaport in the North-west of England for the day by coach from our town along the motorway network with Daddy, to which I don't enjoy the best of relationships with although today did prove to be pretty good on that front.

When we set out from our town in the North-west Midlands, it has raining quite hard continuing in a rainbelt from West Bromwich  in the south of Staffordshire to the outskirts of Newton Le Willows, Lancashire.

I won two prizes on the coach raffle!

Strangle enough as we got toward the turnings for Prescot and Liverpool it got suddenly very sunny as it was also on the North wales coast.

That picture is of the Three Graces , taken from the Albert Dock on the banks of the river Mersey which means I was in.....Liverpool! Yay!!!

 Above are a couple of pictures of the vessel Glaciere built in 1899

 I noticed today was a really good day for observing reflections  and this picture summed up just how much they really help make a picture.

I spend most of the day inside the Merseyside Maritime  Museum seeing the exhibits on the RMS Lusitania that was sunk during the First World War and RMS Titanic than sunk memorably on April 12, 1912 which is something Daddy is interested in heaps.

I was more interested in the exhibits that looked at Slavery, which as port, Liverpool like Bristol was involved in heavily until its abolition and using an interactive display I discovered how many of Liverpool's famous streets and building were built very much on the profits from that trade.

As well, there was a series of exhibits looking at racism and racist attitudes over the centuries  both in the UK and across the Americas. I shuddered when I encountered a  KKK robe and conical hat.

There also was a moving set of exhibits about migration to Canada as well as Australia of British school-age children from the cities and the appalling treatment some received and how immigration has changed the UK over the centuries.

I visited the HMV store in L1, the newish shopping precinct and bought two lps as I had some prepaid cards for the store and coming back saw several of these Swan vessels some rowed, with children making traversing the Mersey.

I had an enjoyable time out.

Relaxing and taking it in

 It's a bright sunny morning so here's some reflections

One advantage of being in this part of the North-west Midlands is easily access to open countryside even if some of it is uneven due to severe subsidence from Brine Extraction that caused the plant and a good number of properties around this location to sink into the ground.

Quite often you can see a variety of different birds flying overhead, moths and butterflies about over the adjacent meadowland and the swans by the canal looking rather graceful with their young.

No surprises then that's where I rush to for an hour or so of peace and quiet.

Last night I spent sometime switched off listening to  Chamber music by Fauré - I'm going through a French composers phase at the minute - care of my music player totally engrossed in it. So peaceful.

An unforgettable spanking

 Last weekend something happened to me that I never expected. 

Well I was staying with a friend and when we got talking I mentioned about this and how I found it so helpful and it happened this person does spank other people who are happy with it.

I asked them if they’d be prepared to discipline spank me when they felt I was in need of it as one of my problems is trying to deal with me by rapid scolding with lots of words just doesn’t work for me and I sometimes I really get things wrong when I’m with them.

Much to my surprise they agreed to and knowing me in my little side seldom in anything other than my school uniform for a good period of time, I trust them. Well, having had breakfast something happened or rather it didn’t  as one of things is I’m meant to help out when I’m with them and I didn’t get started helping with washing up 

After making a start on helping with a stern prompt, I was called back by them who was sat on an open armed chair, standing to the side of them as I was to put my arms around them at which point I was told to bend over their knee as they showed me the wooden paddle.

Having been helped in position, I feel the hand on my back as my dress is lifted,and their hands gently warming up my bottom as I’m laying there unable to  do anything as my knickers are  adjusted to expose my now bared bottom.

Without warning I feel the first stroke land, I scream, squirm and sob  as with every stroke I feel the force of the paddle coming down. I do the spanky dance without realizing it, legs dancing off the floor but I am reduced to the powerlessness of a child  having  to take his spanking and the ever hotter feel of my bottom burning as it turns a deep shade of red but it never stops until she’s done with me.

Eventually and equally without prior notice it stops and I am told to stand up where with no thought, I just put my arms around them thanking them  for spanking me and  agreeing my bottom needed it while I feel at that moment just like a real child punished by an aunt.

A new bond is formed between  ‘child’ and grown up friend as immediately afterward we just get back to everything cos I’ve been forgiven, this is the past but I know it’ll happen again if I  mess up.

Everything just felt natural, unforced coming into place and really this was one of the best experiences when it comes to disciplining me in  a way that is effective without confusing me.

--------------

It's also very obvious the thing that has to change their behaviour now more than ever before is me as reflecting on mentoring and the role of spanking within it. I also know what a good paddling feels like!!!

I suppose the first thing I would say is not being aware how many swats I was going to get was different, finding myself focused exclusively on the lesson my bottom was being taught, with no possibility of gritting through it. Emotionally, I found myself letting out ows freely, acknowledging my feelings where in most other types of discipline I shut them down which one reason spanking works well with me.  I process it emotionally so much better.

Another thing that came from this was it has been decided I shall be caned which was never a part originally of this in extreme cases for extra deterrence which wasn't a million miles removed from what I had in upper juniors and high school. 

Submitting my younger self to the authority of a grown up felt very comfortable, even in a way protected although from now on I’m to be spanked very much when they feel I require it without exception.

Sometimes people might say “aren’t you embarrassed by it”? My honest answer to that would be no because in most sorts of relationships there are common understandings  if not rules  about how things are done and things happen to those in them if they are not  respected. 

Often there are consequences such as not being invited to things again, being pushed out of a group, the only real difference here is it’s pretty much a child like consequence to which the offence that caused it is forgiven afterward. 

I’d rather take a spanking and in time change my behaviour than be just cast out and too many folk cast me out in the past rather than teach me the rules in the first place.

Equally it doesn’t matter to me a sizable chunk of my friends know  I’m held to account and that I am spanked because it’s like during your childhood -it’s a common playground currency – and they accept it’s better to learn from it, deal with situations better and be a bit more mature. With me we know it’s impossible to do fully adult for medical reasons but it’s not quite rocket science to help me act more like a responsible child instead is it?

Meadowlands

It's a bit late but in sometimes take longer than they really should and this was one of them.

One thing I like about my camera is I can easily control how much either side of the what I make my main subject is in sharp focus and here is a good example of what people call differential focusing.

I like the local Meadowland areas heaps, finding it a great place to relax and find 'inner space' which can help when you're needing to switch off a bit from the stresses and strains and I took this a few days before the Picnic.

I used my 135mm fixed length lens as I find it really separates out the subject at a wide aperture on the camera using Fuji's Superior 200 colour print film which was then scanned from the negatives to digital.

Wild flowers have always intrigued me so this cluster just caught my eye, taking full advantage of the close focusing properties of this lens to fill the frame

 I thought this corner to corner picture of wild meadowland came out rather well, bring out the peacefulness as insects go about their business.

Taken using Tamron 28-70 close focusing zoom  and again on Fuji Superia 200 film

To me, as much as we talk about the active, doing things, like the places we travel to, the things we undertake there are times when you need something that's more reflective, enabling you to think through the stock of experiences you'd had.

They may not be just those of the last few days or weeks even but from way back in time because those past events have helped shape us and do influence to a point how we see both ourselves and the things that are currently happening in our lives.

So time spent away from the immediate hear and now, albeit online activity or face to face in favour of time in a secluded pleasant place well away where we are able to let our mental guard down and just think at length free from interruptions is beneficial.

Standing, watching local meadowland is one thing I find that helps and it sums it up in that at first glance it doesn't look that busy but when you really get to focus in, you see a lot of small connected things happening.

I think learning to discern things, identifying patterns is very desirable in itself.
*Photo by me.

Seeking self improvement

I do wish I felt better today and will be resting after doing this but I woke up also with a bit of an idea for a post.

A friend wrote something a few days back about her emotions and how she feels about herself the other day that struck a chord with me.

When we think of 'naughty' what we usually are thinking of is the girl (or for that matter boy) who is mean to others.

It may be that you set out to upset someone by saying unkind things about them and the things that matter to them, you pull their hair, pour paint all over their art or ruin their toys.

That might come from feeling insecure in the presence of someone who either is popular or who has something we feel ought to be ours and needs to denied the pleasure from them.

Most of us can relate to this either as one who did this the odd time or were on the receiving end of it and personally I get it both ways although it is many years since I last did anything naughty in that sense.

Sometimes arising from that childlike sense of wonder and excitement  we can more  thoughtless, we dash and maybe collide hurting each other when it would be more sensible walk slowly instead, we attempt to do something that sounds like fun but oblivious to risks involved for ourselves and others and so on.

On the the other hand there are other things that may have continued from an early age, such as not appreciating what others may do for us, feeling very much World must conform to and supply our immediate needs with a pout and a stomp.

You may feel the best way of getting what you want is shouting over anybody who has the audacity to question or just fail to give total support.

Although starting something can be daunting just putting things off because we'd sooner not or prefer to do more enjoyable or possibly have a lazy streak even doesn't help us and may not help those we are are close to like partners, work colleagues or friends who rely on us especially when we agreed to do them.

In effect sometimes we self sabotage things.

It's no secret to some of you I share some of these traits which I'm getting quite a bit of support in overcoming because they hold me back when I could be that much more effective and responsible.

There's nothing wrong in wanting to be a betterer girl or boy if you're prepared to accept some growing pains and maybe your present issues aside you've the maturity to see it.

If that's you, go for it.

Ode to being a Feminine Gurl

 

I feel the eternal spirit of the boy is best exemplified  by Christopher Robin in the many Winnie The Pooh stories.

Meeting up with the gang for a bit of a lark with a commanding view of our target, you'd be right to think something is going on but we loved that whole easy camaraderie as one boy passes the arrow ready to fire.

We know we might be caught with one of us getting a spanking for it but I'm prepared to take mine for the gang.

I loved my childhood and understood the consequences of the game we played with the grown ups in having our boistorus fun.

Charlie Bear

Something unexpected was given to me at Christmas (and I'm still overdue one present!) but it needed shall we say a bit of work to give it some life.

You will of gathered from some of my comments the problem a feminine boy like me had when it came to getting the sorts of presents we might like cos while a train set is kewl, I just adore teddy bear kits with that whole given given an identity by you bit too.

That's right the Grafix build your own teddy bear  that needed some groan up assistance with it  as I don't do sowing and so on with my amazingly bad hand to eye co-ordination.

Well at least he's alive is Charlie Bear having been named, having his birth certificate filled out and quite huggable too.

Tis a good life to be a teddy bear of a little.