Easter earworms

I've a little time to kill today so I thought I'd work on this weeks entry tonight instead of leaving it until later and I'll start of by thanking those of who read and remarked on last weeks entry.

One recurring theme from the last seven days has been how you can be transported back in time by such things as rewatching tv shows or  hearing and  maybe discussing such things as music as you recall people, places and events from that period that link in with your childhood. 

There's a phenomenon people call the 'Earworm' that enables to you recall the sounds and tunes when they are heard again even if it may of been decades since you last heard them. It may even be one reason people listen to and collect recordings from the past apart from the joy listening to music can bring.

I had a number of those moments this week listening to some downloads of albums I hadn't heard in eons like the Miami Vice tv album.

Then talking some more around the subject of schooldays and the notion of being a schoolgirl with a few people in a more personal way proved interesting for the similarities in what we get from it - being the child, the love of uniforms and structure, finding an inner peace and when we first realized we were different than our peers.

The observant will note its no coincidence the red sweatshirts shown are just like mine!

Of course this week something special usually happens involving Bunnies and for some crosses.

It's Easter which means lots of things from the deep religious side to the side that's often seen in stores this time of year.

The bunny should be dropping this off for me to nom at Easter!

The chilling little style of this Sissy Gurl

Well a few things I had planned to do are off so I might as well get today's blog done.

One of things I recall thinking about heaps was about everything that would happen after the last period of afternoon school finished. 

When I went to day school it was kind of easy in that you'd pair off with a few friends and call in at the neighbourhood store to select some sweets to share while you talked about the day and what you thought of Master x's lesson.

At boarding school we had it back in the dorm but because tea was early it was frowned on as it 'spoilt your tea' so you'd leave them for later or weekends.

I have always loved lollipops still walk around the curb licking them that speaks volumes about me I guess.

Actually I have a pinafore dress not a million miles like that of the girl on picture and used to read while sucking on a lollipop so perhaps one way to visualize me is think of that little at least in spirit if not in dress. 

Tammy will wear their dress from now on as a adult little and accepts his sissy gurl side.

The only thing that matters is having fun reading and sucking your lollipops.

Link:Lollipops

Frustrated!

 

Whatever the dinosaurs say if I bloody well want to wear a skirt cos I feel myself in it I darn well will and that doesn't mean I stop being me.

That frustration can run through things I might of joined like Brownies or through limited options for sports as people say only boys can do this or girls undertake that as much as which social group I'm in at work

I'm just a feminine boy who is wired a bit different compared to most and I certainly don't want to be a girl or regular boy just the "sissy gurl" self I am.

This sissy gurls birthday

Hello everyone.
Last week I had a birthday but the funny thing about birthdays and me is I never really get any older and I'd like to thank everyone for their super birthday wishes.

 

Mummy bought her little these really super flowers as I love flowers a lot.

I had quite a few birthday cards too like this one from mommy plus a 'Gothic' Hello Kitty card from a friend too

I had a few presents of one one I liked was these delicious milk chocolates by Thorntons who make some of the nicest chocolates in England, a book voucher and some money although I don't know what I'm going to buy with it yet.

Some old habits may bemuse but for this sissy gurl being in your party dress and recieving special playful birthday spanking really would be a brilliant thing to amuse!

Presenting the school aged feminine gurl

I think at this point it is worth briefly recapping over the first few pages of this conversation around me

There was evidence that given a free reign I generally conformed to the gender roles and habits of a boy of my era even if a number of interests such as a liking of dolls to look after and collect and a love of flowers were untypical, being supremely uncool for a boy of the nineteen seventies.

I also had a liking for wearing skirts and dresses not as a girl but rather as a more feminine boy - let's just come out and say "sissy" - in a dress  and in today's language my gender - the social side aligned to sex - is wide than most and does fluctuate so really I'm more a feminine boy/sissy who is gender fluid even if I am happy with my biological make up.

While I was happy enough doing that, the influence of females such as my mother and "experts" in disability tended to lead to very passive, following risk adverse behaviour being encouraged and more boisterous play  being kept away from that only made it harder to integrate into the social world.

That was the crazy thing I could be this rough and tough boy in some things but driven towards the world of girls play in others.

However you wrap it up a  feminine/sissy boy like me needs to integrate both sides as we share one common body.

 

When it came to how I dressed - "presented" was not a word we used then I was always happy to wear the school uniform of a boy which in that era included a shirt, tie long socks, grey fairly short shorts and a matching jersey.

I loved my uniform as it was practical for what did as much as there were things I'd sooner of joined the girls with and had the option of wearing a skirt.

Unlike some people who see themselves as transexual, I never felt a sense of not want to or a need to be a girls so I never wanted present as if I were actually a girl.

It wasn't that I didn't feel like wear a girls uniform with a skirt or pinafore dress as much as  I liked being a boy even if navigating it with all those feminine influences and the lack of total immersion into the social world of boys had its ups and downs.

I just needed to be me and able to wear dresses when I needed to let my feminine side go.

The only kind of intense dislike and uncomfortableness with being myself I ever experienced was more at high school as I much preferred to wear grey shorts and not long trousers and ankle socks that felt too short to do any good.

Part of that really in hindsight was the real problem - because of my disabilities I couldn't easily fit into the world of the teenager because they'd moved on from where I was by a good two years or more and I couldn't handle being that the child becoming a man because I was very much fourteen going on ten - a young child and a feminine sissy one at that.

Nevertheless, some saw that as a sign of uncomfortableness with gender roles and started to work around questioning what I "really" was and wasn't I actually a girl.

What I can now say is it was never really about gender roles, the dysphoria was more around becoming physically an adolescent male on a path to becoming a man when the person was a "Child within" and was only socially capable of the gender role of a ten year old child unable to cope with that world.

I just wanted to wear what suited me best as that sissy gurl I felt rather than become a female.

Christopher Robin

That it is indeed in the touching friendship between Pooh and Christopher Robin as they have fun adventures together as we would ourselves if we opened up to people more.

Christopher Robin is a very good role model for girls and boys I feel.

Being me

 People confuse the fluidity of gender gurls such as myself have with being transsexual but they are two different things altogether.

A transsexual identifies as a whole female covering emotions, self image and so on and everything for them is about reducing that gap so socially and emotionally they can operate and be seen as just females.

Being gender fluid means the sense of gender within you fluctuates that you could never be just one and anything like having sex affirming operations would never give you a stable identity.

Personally I'm very happy with my sexual identity but I am feminine too and for me it's all about being able on a day to day business to express the whole of my feelings, emotions and desire to gender present as I am.

I know biologically speaking I'm a boy and I'm happy with that but I want to wear a dress and play more feminine things, let out my sissy gurl side big time.

Why not just just have me in dresses at least some of the time?