Christmas and New Year Thoughts

This is more a joint a Christmas Day and New Years Eve post in one because really they all connect.

Christmas was marked with a Christmas Pause on my Tumblr accounts and Winnie The Pooh was chosen one one for the values A.A. Milne shows and Christopher Robin who was a boyhood inspiration in era where more overtly macho values were pushed.

Christmas Day was being with my parents but marked in a skirt and  white tights because I am and always was a Sissy Gurl and the conception of Tammy as from the original Friends Reunited original blogger identity was one that showed more of that Gurl, the boy by body with a feminine side me and this blog restored that right and centre in twenty twenty-one.

It avoided the agenda of others during that period and shortly afterwards in showing that as a transsexual thing but following a firmer little sissy gurl feminine with masculine traits one, making my own progress on a journey of my own choosing.

The other was the restoring of stronger more fitting feminine influences such as Jinty both in March's special of the redux for the twenty first century new characters and new stories for the originals with mysteries, sport and adventure and this Christmas with a period annual.

For Tammy then the encouragement and alignment with more harder "ballsy" tom boyish attitudes, determination and values within the sissy gurl forming one single coherent body and soul is the aim for this next year.

The reflective and thoughtful had always belonged but some boys as he become older by birth age had tried to push him away from that, but it was always a part of an eternal junior school boy and so influences and role models like Rupert The Bear came back with a new annual to read and enjoy.

The Beano and the Dandy were staple comics I read back then and while the Dandy no longer comes out as a weekly both have specials and annuals to this day so I had the twenty twenty-two annuals and a special themed compilation of older Beano and Dandy cartoon strips that reference artist endeavours by characters pas and present.

The main present was a BR 3F 0-6-0 "Jinty" locomotive number 47458 made by Hornby that can be played with like the all plastic set he had as a little infant boy.

I do have a need for a small paper diary even though it is (just) twenty twenty-one, a high tech computerized touch of a button era, and this is ideal linking past and present.

"Embrace new beginnings" could not be a more apt tag line for this little sissy embracing both their masculinity and femininity sides as one within a single sexual identity, that of a sissy no more or less being free to be me.

Christmas 2021

I don't think we've done many Christmas entries on this blog but I think we will but the first thing to bare in mind is for me I'm very much a child by emotions and development so a christmas for me is pretty much like the ones I had when I was a young boy.

Being that young boy meant chunks of my feminine side never got what they needed  and so this time around I have a Jinty annual from the past to enjoy a new given this was a comic I'd of loved to had been able to read back then.

I always liked the Beano but the modern Beano isn't so easy for me to get into so I had again an annual I'd had back then to enjoy for the connections it has to those bits of the past that are part of who I am.

The Dandy is different, sadly we don't have it as a weekly copy so I had this past edition because when we do get new stories in things such as the Summer Special, it's the characters I remember.

This is this years and it's not that different but has brand new stories and drawings to enjoy which I do. It and the Beano were the best co-ed comics.

Korky the Cat and Winker Watson co-present the Dandytown Winter sports competition which is featured besides regular cartoons by Corporal Clegg, Keyhole Kate and Desperate Dan just like they'd of been had the regular comic had outlived its seventy-fifth birthday in nineteen thirty-eight.

I've had been working sorting out my clothes as we are able to go out and spend time with friends away now compared with how things were last year, totally locked in and this is a past meats present thing being a SuperTed t shirt from the popular nineteen eighties tv children's cartoon printed today.

He's so cute I could have him with cream!

As a active feminine gurl I like to wear more feminine attire but when I'm playing or taking part in sports I'd sooner wear something that has less potential to show my undies while not having to wear shorts so I had this red skort to wear which much more me.

I struggle with being on top of things being both dyslexic, having very poor short term memory and autism so a really cute A5 Winnie The Pooh diary will help me run my life better.

This christmas has been more balanced for me being a sissy gurl able to be me with my parents.

Christmas edition

Well, we are taking a bit of a break on the blog because it is the best time of all for a little in just three days time and we have things to be doing and will no doubt have things to be playing with too to get get that wrapped up around the internet.

In this restored blog, much has been done and much more has been worked through from those early days , the period some tried to suggest I really was something else to the period we got back to what I am with the gender variance that goes with it between me and boys.

Happy to be in their company, I always knew I was too girly for girls and too effeminate for boys in some ways as much as I could play rough and tough games with them.

Christmas's were not always perfect for a lack of appreciation for how your expression and personal gender conception differed even though things that were broad such as the Dandy annuals were a great help.

These days it is better and while there remains some distance to be travelled before how some of us are, things are better such as the tolerance of pink, grooming which was frowned upon as a young boy as "sissy" and the new generation of boys who are pushing the boundaries being out about having a feminine side.

Why shouldn't I be out more as a sissy gurl too?

Happy Christmas!

Fresh starts

I have decided that there will be some changes around presenting coming in from the new year having spot some time looking at my wardrobe as it has been a good while since I first started exploring what being a adult little gurl for me involved.

Covid apart from what it did when came to mixing with people, visiting places and critically spending time with friends who do accept it even some don't "get it" affected that whole wardrobe maintenance side as with few places to go you don't look out, try on and evaluate your stuff.

It's hardly that I haven't dressed more down a traditional feminine route but the nature of some things like pinafore dresses were things I wore more with friends while away with them rather than in the house where I tended to wear skirts with tops if not short trousers.

Trying some things on showed even before covid a number of items only borderline fitted looking at pictures and really I want to wear things that do fit, make me feel pretty and smart from the inside out.

I want to look good as a sissy gurl.

Thus I have decide to prune the dresses down only to those whose fitting really flatters me and as they tend to be worn when away I honestly don't need several and if I need another to get one made and tailored to fit me exactly.

I am better served by tops, jumpers and sweatshirts whose sizes will fit me perfectly and matched to skirts that can also be easily got for a much smarter image.

Similarly some of the older socks can just go which are starting to show bobbling and as it was I actually found several new unopened pairs bought for going away in the summer of 2020 which of course never happened.

I can always look into things like white tights for a more sophisticated look if I wish but the point is going forward it's all for and about me being the best looking sissy gurl I can on my terms.

Anything that comes between that really is no longer needed to be around in this life.

Gender conception is overdue

" I often feel like the current model of gender (identity and expression) is far too inadequate to account for the lived realities of many gender nonconforming folks, particularly feminine boys.

Queer theory advanced a model of sociological gender performativity. That worked well for the past 30 years, thanks to Judith Butler, Ricki Wilchins, Leslie Feinberg, Holly Boswell, Kate Bornstein, and many other influential trans-feminists and transgender trailblazers.

That was fine, back when gender variance was still a very esoteric subject of study. We've now come a long way to better understanding that gender diversity is not so easily captured by the limited language of only gender identity and gender expression. I'd argue these two parameters alone barely scratch the surface of how cissexism itself is enacted by society. And it certainly doesn't account for the difficult process of coming out of the closet and embracing one's true self.

Consider the simplest example of a femboy that has to repress his feminine nature due to the overwhelming stigma and shame within his family or at his school, resulting in years of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and insecurity. Neither "identity" nor "expression" provides the necessary vocabulary to communicate that person's unique gender journey.

He's certainly not expressing his true self at all. If anything he's engaging in a conscious act of repression, given the overbearing weight of societal expectations dominating over his free will. And then there's his thoughts and feelings, which are inherently feminine albeit not visibly apparent. For transgender people, that state-of-mind could be readily described as a misalignment of gender identity. But that doesn't always work for gender nonconforming people, particularly if they do not conceptualize themselves as having a discrete "gender identity".

This is where gender conception comes into play:

gender conception (n) - the way in which a person looks, acts, thinks, or feels with respect to gender norms and ideals including appearance, behavior, mannerisms, speech patterns, emotions, interests, ambitions, pronouns, honourifics, forename, and subjective self-concept.

While gender expression and gender identity have proven useful for discussing the experiences of transgender and nonbinary people, gender conception affords a new paradigm by which gender nonconforming people can better communicate their own unique experiences.

***

Reply to question clarifying point:

Thanks for asking. Gender conception covers how a person looks, acts, thinks, or feels with respect to gender norms and ideals. It is therefore a spectrum of gender nonconformity that is distinct from gender identity, which is an internal sense of being a specific gender. It only has a slight overlap with gender expression in terms of appearance, behavior, mannerisms, and speech patterns. However, gender expression doesn't account for pronouns, honourifics, and forename (which are aspects of gender attribution) nor feelings, emotions, interests, and ambitions.

For example, I consider my sex to be male. However, I have a limp wrist, I have a lisp, and I speak with girly intonations. I tend to have a very sweet, sensitive, and bubbly personality. This would make my gender conception non-normative.

Question from user Ptowza_Potato

"How is that different than gender expression?"

Reply:

Feelings and thoughts and interests and ambitions are not gender expression. As a boy growing up, I always liked watching fantasy movies about princesses and unicorns, and they made me cry with happiness. I daydreamed about one day living in a fairytale wonderland where I could be a pretty princess and have my own unicorn. That is an example of a feminine gender conception, rather than gender expression."

*******

The quest of trying to find a model of gender that works for those of us who don't fit into a binary male or female set of boxes, who may experience gender fluidity and have gender variance has taken time as for understandable reasons much of the discussion started within the transsexual and crossdressing community for whom Gender Identity and Gender Expression were the prisms, it has been obvious does not work for feminine boys like myself.

User rkrause at the subreddit feminine boys posted the above on December 15 and that is the clearest concept of gender which is why it is reproduced as is.

Direct link: https://www.reddit.com/r/feminineboys/comments/rh43lu/gender_conception_is_long_overdue/

Counting down the days

Advent began last Wednesday following the Christian Calendar which was marked as ever on a choco Advent Calendar marking a time honoured childhood tradition as we count down the nights to come before Christmas Day and whatever Santa Claus has instore for us when it comes to presents.

This years is a Paw Patrol one whose windows you open with your finger nails and it has a colouring book for later too but in other years it's been Hello Kitty ones or The Secret Life of Pets  and before now my parents had bought me one too seeing really I'm very much a gurl still and a feminine one at that.

We've had strong winds and sleet as a cold front battled over us rather like they did early last week where we had a good inch and a half of snow fall so I've had to wear my thick warm Puma track pants all week apart from last Wednesday when it was a bit warmer.
 

Presentation december

So we moved through November including that cold spell where things were at minus One degrees during the day and you really appreciated the fleecy JimJams overnight as things the temperatures just dropped.

I almost got Xmas wrapped here with cards although I cut back a bit and presents which reminds me that we have the Christmas Beano special to get through, a sixty-eight page edition which I usually tend to keep.

I'd need a warehouse if I was to do that with the regular editions!

I came out gender fluid at Reddit in November which is funny kind of a place but the sub reddit has decent respectful still a child friendly  talk in way that Similar Worlds, the Experience Project replacement doesn't and why I ditched one account for good.

Art credit "differentspelling" Reddit: @/r/peanuts based on a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

They draw that as "themselves"  but it could just as well of been me, a gender fluid assigned as boy self who identifies as "sissy" and likes wearing skirts.

Talking of, I don't tend to buy heaps of skirts not least cos for one thing you've got to store them and just how many are you seriously going to wear given I do often wear shorts too but I did get this.

It's a sixteen and a half inch length Camel Thompson kilt skirt which stays in the respectable range less likely to show anything best not  bridging that gap between mini and midi length which looks smart.

I just love wearing it.

It won't be so long before Christmas and the New Year so with that we'll pause.

Operation feminine reset

We talked a bit about reset last week when I moved the blog over to another account and did a tidying up from it's messy bits from the Covid era but that era had a number of implications such as not going away  and given the severity of the travel restrictions very little incentive to wear never mind get anything new.

Given much of what I was doing involved scouting, going in fields with mud and hedges for exercise, resetting my mind from the never ending changes and rules plus observing nature it was hardly surprising  I spent all my time in short trousers.

Normally I'd be trying on other things and seeing what needed replacing and what new items I'd bring in especially on the more feminine presenting side so as things start to improve with a covid variant concern here and there I'm resetting my LSG feminine presentation.  

Trying some of my pinafore dresses on and checking back with pictures taken the last times they were worn some were a tight fit even at the time so I replaced one I liked by Mischief for a larger size in navy blue rather than the original black which should be a better fit.

There is a grey one coming that has a front wrap around and generally I look good in a traditional school dress as a sissy.

I also got this Royal Blue pleated school skirt with a fully elasticated waist to replace one dress with which will work with jumpers and jerseys which should work well.

Generally speaking for social wear I tend to dresses and skirts when I'm away and grey short trousers for things like rambling, not caring much for more fussy frill laden outerwear.

Sorting this all out before things resume - touch wood - next year is a must and it is perhaps timely to get this side of me really sorted.